(A/N: This was a dialogue I wrote with a few friends in History class. It was to present slang from the 1920's to the rest of the class. Most people found it funny, and for some reason, I thought it would be even funnier to turn it into a small Harry Potter mini-story. Enjoy! OK, it is really crazy, but well… just read it.)
One day, Professor Snape didn't show up for Potions class. Harry heard from a Slytherin that Snape had come down with a nasty case of the Muggle Flu he had caught while in Hogsmeade. Professor Flitwick was the substitute, and had told the students to review potions from past classes. Ron and Harry started messing around with potions, mixing a few together. They decided to see what would happen if they mixed a 1920's Time Warp potion and a Slang Language potion. They were mixed together with a puff of smoke, and the colour changed to a bright orange. It emitted a stron yummy vanilla smell. It smelled so good that Ron and Harry broke the #1 Potions class rule: they each took a small sip of their newly created potion. But before they could see the results, the end of class bell rang. Harry and Ron headed back to the Gryffindor Common Room in silence. But before they reached it, a conversation started.
Ha: Gee whiz Ron, have you seen my new cheaters?
R: Ya, they're the ritziest, spiffiest cheaters I ever did see with my own two lamps.
(Ginny and Hermione walk around the corner and come face to face with Ron and Harry who have not yet noticed how weird they're talking.)
Ha: Hey Ginny, wanna go to the speakeasy later? Y'know, the blind pig. Get some hooch, (nudges her), some giggle water.
G: Harry? WTF?
R: Harry, did I tell you about Hermione? She is the bee's knees, and the keenest girl in school. Last night, I pinned her for the first time.
G: Hermione!
He: What? I have no idea what they are talking about? I can't understand a word of what they're saying.
R: Yes you do. Herm, you're all wet.
Ha: Ginny, I like your dogs. They're the real McCoy.
G: What? Isn't that some Muggle movie?
Ha: Apple sauce.
R: Horse feathers.
G: No, thank-you?
Ha: Ron, Ginny is giving me the heebie jeebies. DO you think she's splifficated?
R: Maybe. She and Hermione are acting real raz-ma-tazz.
He: What the hell? We're leaving. Have you guys been drinking potions again?
Ha: Perhaps. It's swell.
G: OK, you guys are acting really weird. We'll see you when you're acting normal.
R: Fine, you scram, you get out of here, you skedaddle.
(girls leave)
R: Man, that Hermione is the cat's meow.
Ha: Ya, and Ginny is the berries. We're lucky they don't have flat tires.
(the potions wear off)
R: Did you hear how we were talking? I couldn't talk normally, I was trying but it wasn't working. It was whack.
Ha: Ya, that potion was so cool. We really freaked Ginny and Hermione out. Let's do it again tomorrow!
(A/N: Fun, no? ok, below is a translated list of all the crazy 20's slang words used above.)
|
Slang |
Normal English |
|
cheaters |
Eye glasses |
|
ritziest |
Most elegant |
|
spiffiest |
The most fashionable |
|
lamps |
Eyes |
|
speakeasy |
Illegal spot to buy alcohol |
|
Blind pig |
Illegal spot to buy alcohol |
|
hooch |
Alcohol |
|
Giggle water |
Alcohol |
|
Bee's knees |
Wonderful person |
|
keenest |
Most attractive |
|
Pinned her |
Asked her to go steady |
|
All wet |
Crazy |
|
dogs |
Shoes |
|
Real McCoy |
The genuine thing |
|
Apple sauce |
Nonsense |
|
Horse feathers |
Nonsense |
|
Heebie jeebies |
The jitters |
|
splifficated |
Drunk |
|
Raz-ma-tazz |
Energetic |
|
swell |
Marvelous |
|
scram |
Leave quickly |
|
Cat's meow |
The coolest |
|
The berries |
The best |
|
Flat tires |
Dull personalities |