WARNING: This is not real…. Don't worry… It's just a work from my imagination…

The French….

I guess it all started after I saw Moulin Rouge. My friends all talked about it and said that it was the best movie they had ever seen. So I went together with my dear friend Theresa and saw it at one of Paris' bigger cinemas. The problem was that I didn't understand why or how someone could fall in love like that and get that sad just after a couple of days or weeks… Why couldn't they just have ended it? That would have been so much easier… No I didn't understand it, but I never told Theresa that.

When we went out of the cinema Theresa couldn't stop babbling on about how great this and that had been in the movie… I couldn't care less. I just didn't understand it… How could Satine say that the French are glad to die for love? I'm French and I'm in no hurry to die for some boy who will only brake up with me anyway… No I didn't understand it… I didn't understand love.

A couple of weeks later I was to leave Paris and go to London. I was to stay with my aunt in her small but cosy apartment. I thought it was going to be a fun little vacation, oh and it was in so many ways… But it should have been different. My aunt didn't have much time to spare to be with me. So I was pretty much on my own. Which was okay, but I weren't familiar with London and I didn't like the idea of me walking around on my own in London. So one day I decided to come along with my aunt to one of her theatre rehearsals. There were lots of things to see and do there. But after half an hour or so I found myself watching this boy, and I realised that I had been doing so ever since I had walked in the room. I just hadn't paid attention to it. He looked about my age, 16, or maybe older. He had brown wavy hair, big smiling bright blue eyes and a humming laughter that made my heart skip a beat when it rang out loud enough for me to hear it. Was this really happening to me? Was I falling in love with this boy that I had never seen before? I felt my cheeks turning warm. I knew I was blushing. I thought to myself that this was stupid. You can't fall in love with someone because of his or her looks, come on Louise, and get it together. So I sat there watching him until my aunt was ready to og home. I can remember that she asked me if I had enjoyed myself at the rehearsals. She winked and gave me that beautiful comforting smile of hers. I understood that she had seen me following that boy's every move. "His name is William" she told me. William… my heart skipped a beat again. The name suited him. "He works at the café down the street. He is 18 years old…" I asked her why she was telling me this. "Well dear, I can see Cupid's arrows when they hit the young. And both Cupid's arrows and youth are terrible things to waste…" She always did that. Talked in riddles. I think she told me to og for it… to og for love.

The very next day I went to the café where he was supposed to be working. And true enough, there he was waiting tables. I jumped in surprise when he looked at me, smiled and started walking towards me. I froze, I couldn't move. "Hi there precious. Didn't you get enough of me yesterday?" I started blushing like mad, but he just smiled and held out his hand. I didn't react, so he took my hand shook it gently and introduced himself. I felt dizzy, star-struck and shy. Why did I og to see him? But he seemed nice. He told me when he was of and asked me if I wanted to og out with him. I told him yes and met up with him later that evening. That evening was the best evening of my life. We got to know each other better and we talked about absolutely anything. I had never talked this openly with anyone, not even Theresa. He followed me back to my aunt's apartment and finished the absolutely perfect evening with a good night kiss.

I couldn't sleep. I felt love for the first time. The next day I started humming songs from Moulin Rouge and I was just one happy girl all day long. I met him everyday and I was to follow him home after the rehearsals on an otherwise beautiful Saturday evening. I thought I was in paradise when he invited me to come up with him. We started talking, but pretty soon we were kissing and touching each other on his sofa… And I liked it. I was 16 years old and I had never done anything like that before. He made sure that everything was okay with me the whole time… He was really kind and gentle. And then I had to leave. He kissed me goodbye and I rushed home.

I lay in bed thinking about what would have happened if we had gone further. I was still a virgin but… Was I ready to change that? With a boy much older than me. I don't remember what conclusion I came to because I was too busy having a good time. And pretty soon it was Saturday again. I went home with him again. And we started making out on the sofa. I didn't even react when he started unbuttoning my shirt… I didn't mind. I wanted to og through with it. He touched every inch of my body… And it felt so good… I didn't want to stop… But I knew that first times always hurts… And I was no exception… But William was so nice and gentle and he made my first time a good experience. I stayed overnight dreading to have to face my aunt the next day. I fell asleep in William's arms. The next day when I got back to my aunt's apartment I was surprised to find her home. But she didn't ask me uncomfortable questions. Instead she winked at me and flashed one of her trademark smiles. She didn't want to know.

I spent two more nights with William. Getting better each time. Then everything started crumbling. He cancelled some dates and hung up when I tried to call him. I felt nervous and dumb. To clear my head and get a chance to talk to him, I went to the rehearsals again on a Saturday. It was going to be my last day in London, and I was going to leave for Paris the following day.

I sat down on a chair some distance from William and his friends. Close enough to hear what they were talking about, but they couldn't see me… Or so I thought. I sat watching him, the man of my dreams, my first, my last, my everything. I heard his laughter and I saw his smile. His friend turns to him and points at me. I jumped and turned away a little, but I could still hear them. "Hey… Isn't that the girl that had a crush on you William?" His friend asked him. "Crush? Oh no… She has fallen head over heals for me" He laughed, but his laughter was no longer warm and humming. It was hard and sharp. His friends were laughing too. "So have you fucked her?" Another of his friends asked. The words cut through me like a sharp blade. I blushed, but continued to keep my eyes away from them. "Of course I've fucked her" He laughed again. How could I have been so foolish believing that this was love. I felt a tear falling down my cheek. I felt sick and dirty. "I were her first. I plucked myself a young flower this time" I wanted to hit him. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to leave. I wanted to og home. "What are you going to tell your girlfriend William? I felt faint. "Oh, I haven't told Gemma about her. Just like I haven't told Gemma about those three other girls too" He laughed again. I wanted to run out. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die…

I stood up making sure everyone could see me. And then I ran out. I went straight back to my aunt's apartment. I threw up. I took a shower. I went outside. I didn't walk very far until I found a bridge. It looked high enough… Tears were flowing from my eyes.

I left this letter on the bridge right before I jumped. I put a little stone on top of it so that it wouldn't fly away… Oh God… I'm hoping it's going to reach you Theresa… Because if you are reading this… Well that means that I'm dead. I put your address on the envelope for two reasons Theresa.

1. You've always been my best friend.

2. You took me to see Moulin Rouge.

The French are glad to die for love Theresa… I'm proof of that… So remember come what may… Don't be sad because I've realised one thing. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.