Author: lucretiafly
Characters: House/Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 746
Summary: House makes a bet with Wilson. Set during the Tritter arc, to provide a convenient antagonist.
Disclaimer: Don't own, just playing. The lucky ones are David Shore et al.

"Wilson!"

The demand for attention was accompanied by House's barging into Wilson's office and flopping on his sofa, ignoring the paperwork on the desk and the fact that Wilson was obviously trying to read it.

"We need to sleep together."

"Wha- What!?" Wilson spluttered, staring in confused horror at his best friend. House returned his stare with a calm look of his own, his chin resting on his hands over his cane and eyes tilted up at Wilson's, as if he had said something no more out of the ordinary than that he had tickets to the monster trucks this weekend.

"I've been thinking very hard about this, and have concluded that in order to dissolve this tension between us, we need to sleep together - get it out of the way so we can go back to just hanging as we used to." Despite the flippant tone, his eyes were serious - the situation was serious.

"House, no. We're not going to sleep together. This "tension" between us will dissolve just fine once you stop being an ass and apologise to Tritter." Wilson made air-quotes with his fingers at the appropriate point and ended with a sigh of annoyance.

House merely jerked his chin slightly in Wilson's direction.

"Tritter has nothing to do with this. He's just a catalyst; there's always been tension, and you know it." He couldn't hide the smirk in his eyes. "Tell you what: a hundred bucks at the end of this week says that you won't be able to resist my undeniable charm." He cocked an eyebrow, issuing the challenge.

"I am not going to sleep with you. Get a hooker if you're that desperate. Now, if you wouldn't mind, one of us here has work to do."

"Oh, my patient's fine, don't worry about it." House waggled his eyebrows at Wilson, leering. "I think you're objecting too much."

Wilson sighed again. Exasperation was all too easy an emotion where House was involved. He raised a hand, palm outwards towards House. Not in defeat, but as a barrier between him and any more of House's craziness.

"Okay, fine. One fifty. You can try all you want to seduce me, but it won't work and I'll just end up with a small amount of the money you owe me."

A grin slowly made its way across House's face as he acquiesced, "One fifty - all the more for me when I win." He ran his tongue slowly along the bottom of his teeth as he surveyed Wilson's face, eyes dipping suggestively to his hips at the word 'win'.

He stood, careful not to break eye contact with his target. Waggling an eyebrow again, he put on his best seduction voice - low and sensual, one that bypassed Wilson's objections and made its way straight to his groin.

"Catch you later..."

He winked as he left the room.

As the door fell shut, Wilson sighed for the third time in as many minutes and rubbed his palms over his face.

House was infuriating. Somehow he always managed to get a rise out of him - Wilson deliberately ignored any alternative meanings to that phrase - somehow always coerced Wilson into doing something he didn't want.

And yes, a bet with House in which his friend tries to seduce him is definitely something he doesn't want.

Still. He was here now, and that one hundred and fifty dollars would be very useful at the moment, with his account having been frozen pending the investigation into House. House should really just hand over the cash; it was the least he could do in repentance for this ridiculous situation, but Wilson knew better than to expect House to show guilt over his actions.

He cast his mind back over his friendship with House, seeking out likely paths the man would take in his quest into his pants. He knew his opponent was formidable, would try every trick he could to reach the goal, and Wilson began to mentally prepare himself. He was used to ignoring House's usual level of flirtation, had even managed to train his body not to react to the frequent contact between them as they walked down a corridor or sat on the couch in front of the TV. Unfortunately, he also knew that would be child's-play in comparison to what House was likely to come up with now, and he closed his eyes and sighed resignedly.

This week would be difficult.