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Ever thought of how it would feel like whenever you had a loved one gone? Well, it's not a nice feeling. Especially when you're guilty of killing that particular person.
Some people call it regrace from regret. I just don't want to talk about it, and I call it 'nothing'.
But I just know that I'm hurt somewhere, deep down inside. Sometimes, I even wonder why humans had to have these feelings. They're rather strange and pecuilar. And I don't like them triggering an entire series of weird thoughts, running through my mind endlessly.
I'd really hate to admit that I regret killing him. Really. But more importantly, I hate myself for holding that weapon, and striking him with it.
"I'm sorry, Alma."
How I wish I could have said that.
.. I wish that time would rewind.
And then I'll go back into years, months, days, time. Just to go back to that one particular time.
Before I got killed, before I was brought back to life as a second exorcist, before I met Alma.
I can't blame the Innocence for its doing, though. Even if I glare at Mugen, and curse it for all I can everyday, it won't even change a thing. Meh.
Now all I can do is to just stare at the lotus hourglass in my room, hoping that .. It won't wilt.
As I stare out the window, a cool gentle breeze greets me. Somehow, the breeze brings up another memory of me and Alma having fun together. How his stupidty would make me scowl at him, and then we'd go on about scolding each other for hours. And after it all ended and we made up, we would have a good laugh about it.
Laughing with Alma was fun. But killing him wasn't.
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