I do not own American Horror Story: Freak Show.

Thank you, Ryan Murphy, for my nightmares.

What Pepper Can't Do

Pepper wasn't pretty.

Her nose was too big and her eyes popped out.

Her crooked teeth stuck out between her livery lips.

Her head was shaped funny and her hands were broad and hairy.

She shuffled when she walked and her body was shaped like a block.

But the baby boy didn't care because he looked just like her.

And nobody wanted either of them but each other.

Pepper wasn't smart.

She didn't know alot of words and couldn't do numbers or read.

But she could learn to make bottles for the baby to drink.

She could learn to change the dirty diapers and clean them so they could be used again.

She could learn to wrap the baby up tight in a blanket so he would feel safe and secure.

Pepper couldn't do alot of things other people could do.

But Pepper could love.

Pepper had loved Salty but he had gone to sleep and not woken up.

Pepper had loved Ma Petite but she had disappered in the middle of the night.

Pepper had loved Miss Elsa but she had sent her away to live with her sister and her family.

Now Pepper loved the baby. The one that wasn't hers.

The one that was.

Pepper loved everything about the baby.

Pepper took care of him every minute of every hour of every day.

Pepper never got mad when he cried, never yelled at him, never ignored his needs.

Pepper loved the baby.

And all of her ugly, strange features helped her take care of him.

Her stuck out ears heard him cry in the morning and she would pick him up out of his bed to say hi.

Her lumpy nose smelled the diaper almost before it was dirty and she would make him all clean again.

Her popped out eyes looked at him and how beautiful he was all the time.

Her thick lips kissed his face and hummed tunelessly to try to soothe him.

Her flat feet moved them carefully around the house and backyard, never tripping or slipping, always taking care to keep him away from danger.

Her blocky body cradled him, to make him feel safe and loved and wanted.

Her big, clunky hands held him close when he cried, patted his back when he needed to burp.

And kept him safe in the water when she bathed him.

Until the day the bad man came in and locked her out and hurt the baby.

And nothing Pepper did could stop him.

They let her see his little round eyes staring sightlessly up at the ceiling.

They let her smell the metallic tang in the air.

They let her heavy hands plunge into the bloody water and drag his tiny body out, hold him to her chest.

They let her press the detached ears to the sides of his little head, try to put them back where they should go.

They let her kiss his bloody, still face over and over again so he would open his eyes and look at her.

They let her ears fill with her own screams and wails echoing out into the walls of the house.

They let the men in white come and take her away from the still, quiet boy.

And no one ever let Pepper love a baby, or anything else, ever again.

I love my new baby boy so much.

And I can't watch this episode anymore.

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