AN: AU Story – just for fun. I've taken liberties with the kids' ages to fit my story. Enjoy.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I'm screwed. I mean, I'm really really screwed. I'm not talking about being caught in an awkward situation. Hell, right now, I would give anything for awkward. This is huge! This is "damned if I do, fucked if I don't" huge! If you're asking what did I do, the answer is simple: I showed up for work.

Let me take a step back. I'm a teacher. I love what I do. And most days, I love the kids I teach and I love their pa-, let's just say, I don't hate their parents. I can take them or leave them – if I'm being honest. We are talking about some of the world's most power people: ambassadors, dignitaries, congressmen and yes even the leader of the free world. These people are type A, high strung and obnoxious. Now multiple that by 3, and that's what I deal with on a daily basis when they are in "mommy" or "daddy" mode.

The absolute worst, hands down, is our first lady. Oh my god, she's a pill. A real pill. Surprisingly enough, her husband is a relatively normal dad – low key and doting like most dads. You'd almost forget he was the President of the United States if it weren't for the circus that surrounded him and followed him whenever he came to the school. And their kids, well, they couldn't be more normal. The girl I don't teach. She is a few years older than my students but I hear she is smart as a whip and sharp as a tack. The little one, Jerry, he is in my class. He's very sweet and a little shy. Already he has a slew of female admirers and if his father's looks are any indication of what he has to look forward to growing up, that female fan base will only get longer and stronger. Jerry is very sensitive and keeps to himself for the most part. He has a few friends in class but one almost gets the sense he is embarrassed by the attention he sometimes gets from his peers. What can I say, kids will be kids; and at this age, 7, these little monsters will be the death of me. If I survive tonight that is.

Tonight is the annual Valentine's Day Open House event where all of the kids get to proudly show off their artwork and crafts to their parents. The theme was love and the kids were told to draw or make what most represented love to them. No big deal right? WRONG. It's three hours before the event and I am sitting on the floor of my classroom, glass of wine in hand (What? All the kids have gone home! Don't judge me…) and Jerry's drawing in the other hand. Jesus Christ, why didn't I keep a closer eye on that little fucker while he was drawing? It's always the quite ones I tell you.

My only saving grace, and I do mean only, is that his mother is out of town this evening and "therefore regrets to inform me that she will not be able to attend such an esteemed event." I quote. Who talks like that? At any rate, that still leaves his father, 5 ambassadors to somewhere and their wives, 12 congressmen and their spouses. Like I said, screwed. Excuse me, while I down this glass.

Ok where was I, oh yeah, screwed. Is it a crime to lie to the President? Think he would believe me if I called up his staff right now and said the event had been cancelled? Ha, probably not. As I sit here, I can hear the secret service agents making their rounds in advance of his arrival.

Well, time to grow some lady-balls and deal with this. I mean it's either that or continue to top myself off until I am a shitty drunk mess, sweating profusely and leaning a little too much to the left as I attempt to greet my kids and their devils, I mean parents, at the door. Oy.

I get up, brush myself off and pull out the number given to me long ago and instructed to use only in cases of an emergency. I'm literally holding my breath as the line begins to ring. Jesus take the wheel.

"Yes"

"Hi-ello. Um, sorry, hello Mr. President, this is Ms. Phillips fro-"

"Who?"

"Ms. Phillips. Jerry's teacher" At this point I'm literally gasping for air like I just finished a half-marathon or something.

"Right, hi. Would you hold on a second?"

I think he thinks just cause he has his hand over the receiver that I cannot hear him. Did he just call his kid a fucker? I knew I liked him. Would vote for him again!

"Sorry about that. Ms. Phillips, what can I do for you?"

"Well sir, you see sir, um, bu, bu, by the way, are you coming to the open house tonight?" Oh shit, I think I heard him sigh.

"Yes I am. Is there a problem?" There is it again, definitely a sigh.

"Well, sir, well, you see, I th-"

"Ms. Phillips, as you can imagine I've very busy. And I know you wouldn't all my personal line unless it was important. So, why don't you just tell me what is the problem. What has Jerry done?"

"Sir, it's not what he did per se but what he drew."

"What?"

"Sir, I really think you just need to see this for yourself. I can't , umm, do it, uh, justice if you will." Oh damn, he sighed again. And is now literally just sitting on the phone. Like, I can hear him breathing.

"Ms. Phillips, bring me the damn drawing."

"Sir?"

"Hold on." I can hear him yelling something to someone and, yep definitely cursing.

"Bring me the drawing. One of my agents outside will bring you to the White House."

"Sir, I can really just give them the drawing. I don't nee-"

"Ms. Phillips, my agents will bring both you and the drawing. I expect you here within the hour."

He hung up. Well that was rude. Ohmygod I feel sick. Mama needs just one more sip of her juice. Ok here goes.

I'm standing outside of the Oval Office literally willing my glands to close up and stop leaking. I ask for so little. Do you think I'd be the first person to faint right here? Probably not right? Oh god the door is opening. He doesn't look happy. Oh god.

I walk in and stop just inside the room.

"The drawing Ms. Phillips? Let's have it." Remember when I said he was a normal dad? I take that back. Sitting behind his desk, staring me down, he may as well have been fucking Thor. Please don't faint. Jesus? The Wheel!

I hand over the drawing and watch as he slowly opens it and takes in its contents. I don't know what reaction I expected exactly but what I'm seeing was certainly not it. Unbelievable! I swear he trying not to smile. The tiniest of smirks is now firmly tugging at his lips.

I mean this man is looking at a drawing of his family together and seemingly happy, but in the background just to left of his wife is another figure; a women. If one cared to take a closer look at the drawing – as I have – you can see that she is smiling and looking at the President and he is looking at her. One thing for sure, Jerry is not one for subtly. No sir, he much more of the clobber you over the head kind of boy. To drive home his point, there is a small heart above the President's head and a matching heart above this woman's head. Oh and there is also a heart above Jerry's head. Come to think of it, he is looking a little to the left as well. Odd. If that wasn't obvious enough, Jerry felt the need to name the "important" people in the drawing. There was DADDY, ME and OUR LIVIE. These people really need to learn boundaries. Ugh, where is my juice?

"Is this it?"

"Yes?" I don't know why that came out as a question. I'm all kinds of confused by this man right now.

"Ok thanks."

"Sir?"

"I have a conflict tonight. So I won't be at the event."

"O-oh kay. Sorry to have bothered you sir."

So you have to understand, I don't handle confusion well. Anything is liable to happen. I can't get out of this room fast enough and on instinct I reach for the drawing. He quickly snatched it up and folded it in half.

"I'll keep this, thank you. My son is very talented."

And very observant apparently. I think to myself and have the good sense to keep to myself.

"Well next time sir. Good night."

I take one final look back before I exit the room and I'll be damned. He's once again looking at the drawing and this time openly smiling.

Hmm, that little fucker was on to something. I'll be damned.