Excel or Die; Strike back! Chapter 1; Opening of Extreme Measures!

Author's note; hello cruel people of earth, wonder why you're cruel? 'Cos nobody apart from my mate K.T (who help write it) wrote a review about my first ever fanfic! Oh well, this fanfic, I plan to update as much as possible, so I hope you enjoy.

As always, I don't owe any of the characters in Excel Saga or Read or Die, I just manipulate them into my cruel evil ways. 

Location; Washington D.C, on the stage in front of the white house

The crowd of news reporters and the local public waited in anticipation. They eagerly waited for him, knowing that what he'll say in 1 minute will affect anime history. This front-page news we were talking about here! The suspense was unbearable!

"Sssssshhhhhhh!"

Silence overcame them all when suddenly the man himself-Koshi Rikto-had approached the stage. He tightens his tie and he smiled at his huge audience, all microphones and cameras from all news channels imaginable were here. All that could be heard was the flashes coming from the cameras.

"I give permission for the Excel Saga anime series to be a political, cross-over anime fanfiction."

The locals cheered and all anime fans alike rejoiced at his news. The news reporters made their way towards closer to the stage in order to have the opportunity to have their unanswered questions answered.

Newsman no.1; "How will this affect the Excel Saga anime series?"

Koshi; "It'll not affect the storyline, only my ratings. Since this fanfic will make my show a much more stupider anime than it already is

Newsman No.2; "What is the other anime that is to be included in this crossover?"

Koshi; "That's for me to know and you to find out! Next please…"

Newsman No.3; "Is it true that Excel Saga will be cross-overed with the popular-yet sluty-Sailor Moon?"

Koshi; "WHAT? Who have you been talking to? What is the meaning of this-SHE came onto ME! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

Before you know it, Koshi jumps from the stage and starts to punch the newsman, he pulls his leg, he goes for the punch-fails, he pins him down…oooohhhh…that's gonna hurt tomorrow! Cue the music…CUE THE MUSIC!!!!

"Sore wa ai ja nai,

 Ai wa sore ja nai,

 Ai shite iru kedo ai sarete wa inai.

 Kesshite ai ja nai,

 Ketsu wa ai jai n-"

Excel; Wait a sec! What's that 'James Bond' alike music I hear? What the-WHY ARE THOSE ENGLISH SPIES CORRUPTING MY SHOW?! LORD ILPALAZZO!"

A figure suddenly appears out of the darkness, she has long black and very geeky glasses. Excel is frozen, unable to move without her 'Lord' to order her around.

"I am Yomiko Readman," Said the girl "Read…or DIE!"

Excel looked rather puzzled "…is there a 3rd option, I hate books…and I'm not fond of dying either-"

"WHAT! YOU DON'T LIKE BOOKS! GGGGGRRRRRRRRR!"

The empty headed girl suddenly looked very red in the face, her hair rose to look like horns and her hand rose high up into the air. Her suitcase flew open and million scraps of paper took aim on the defenceless Excel. Yomiko grabbed her copy of 'The Book of Pooh' to use, as a weapon-she was one pissed off Liberian!

"Well that's something you don't see everyday" said Excel

The scraps of paper started to give thousand of paper cuts on the poor Agent Excel, she cried her eyes out and then ran for her life. Yomiko chased after her prey, giving the death seeker-Hyatt, to make her first appearance in the fanfic;

"This is the end of Chapter 1-*cough cough-cough cough*"

Ok? What did you think? Let me know ok, and don't worry, I'm working on the 2nd chapter, so wait until then you impatient fools! (P.s. I know I can't spell so don't bug me about it!)

-Lilith Darkstorm