I've officially jumped on the boat with everyone else uploading their stories before Glee officially starts up again tonight. So, this is just my usual I MISS SUMMER fics... It's been snowing far too much for me to handle.
Note: This could be triggering. Just a heads up. And, it deals with cutting. So, if you don't like, then please leave.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or Kurt, or Blaine, or Vogue, or Dalton, or anything else mentioned. I only own the storyline.
Kurt whipped out the latest Vogue, intent on reading the entire thing in the comfort of his air conditioned room at Dalton. The temperature had been reaching a scorching ninety nearly every day this week. It was enough to make Kurt cringe at the idea of going outside, if just for a moment at all.
"So, you won't go to the pool with us?" Wes asked, poking his head into Kurt's dorm. David and Blaine spilled into Kurt's room right behind Wes.
"Do you know what those chemicals do to your skin and hair?" Kurt hypothetically asked, barely lifting an eye from the Table of Contents on the glossy paper. He didn't even dare to venture into the fact that the chemical ridden water was swimming with bacteria.
"We won't make you go in the pool," David promised, as the other two solemnly nodded their heads in agreement. Kurt pressed an index finger to his temple at their persistence. When he rejected their invitation to go to the pool last night, he thought they would just go without him. Guess not.
"Well, I only freckle and burn," Kurt pointed out, gesturing at his pale, porcelain skin.
"I'm sure Blaine wouldn't mind rubbing aloe on you," Wes said with a smirk. It had hardly fazed Kurt; he had been dealing with his comments since they became friends in January. It seemed sudden to Kurt, but little did he know, that Blaine spent days pleading with them to just accept him as is. And, they did.
"That's it," Blaine said, with a short laugh, "You two out!"
Wes and David left, but not without a whimper at the command. Blaine ran a hand over his loose curls, before perching himself on the edge of Kurt's bed, wondering the real reason for not wanting to join them at the pool.
"You can bring that to the pool," Blaine said, as Kurt gave him a blank glance, "And, read it in the shade."
"No, thank you," Kurt politely said, flipping idly through the ads in the beginning of the magazine. Blaine laid a comforting hand on the younger boy's shoulder.
"Why won't you go with us?" Blaine softly asked, his eyes begging Kurt to tell him. Kurt sighed, laying his Vogue down on his comforter, and rolled his bare feet onto the cool floor.
"Wait here," Kurt said, grabbing his swim trunks, which Mercedes made him pack the month before. He knew that he wouldn't be using them, but she told him that it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.
Kurt locked himself in the bathroom, tugging his shirt over head, making sure to not horribly mess up his hair. He stripped out of his skinny jeans and boxers, careful to not catch his reflection. He pulled on red swim trunks, reminiscent of those that lifeguards wear. He fixed his bangs, a sure sign of nerves, and unlocked the bathroom door.
Outside the bathroom, Blaine admired the Vogue cover and the vast topics covered in the issue, waiting for Kurt to come out. The bathroom door swung open, as Kurt stepped into the bedroom area, reclosing it as he ventured further in the room. Blaine was stunned at the sight of Kurt's bare chest, before his eyes caught sight of whiter bits of skin splashed near the band of his red swim trunks.
The cherub faced boy bit down on his lip, willing the tears to not spill over as hazel eyes flickered to Kurt's best kept secret. In fact, his only confidant was the man looking back at him in the mirror. Blaine reached out, his fingers just brushing against the slightly raised scars on Kurt's protruding hipbones.
"Kurt," Blaine softly whined, which sent Kurt over the edge, as the hot tears streamlined their way down his normally rosy cheeks. Blaine was quick to raise his hand to wipe the cascading tears away with his guitar calloused thumb, Kurt's skin feeling wet and smooth beneath his fingers.
They stayed like that for a moment, Blaine's hand just rest against Kurt's face. Their interactions had always been on the touchy feely side, which led to literally no awkwardness in situations like this. Kurt let out a shaky breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.
"Why?" Blaine breathlessly asked, before his brain could process all the way back to Karofsky.
"It was hard being the only out kid in the entire school," Kurt started, as a fresh wave of tears threatened to break lose, "After being teased relentlessly, I turned to this" – He gestured to the lights marks on his hips, that extended down his thighs – "to ease the pain."
Blaine didn't quite know what to say, which was uncommon because he was normally so eloquent. He opted to just give Kurt a hug, ignoring the fact that he could just feel Kurt's naked back muscles flexing as he limply hugged the curly haired boy back.
"You've stopped now, right?" Blaine brought himself to say, noting that tears were splashing on his Dalton Athletics shirt. Kurt nodded in the soft gray fabric, not wanting to pick his face up off of his chest because he was such an ugly crier.
Kurt let his mind drift to the first time his blood boiled over the edge. He had no one to talk to about the dumpster diving he'd endured, and multiple slushies facials, and jeering comments about his sexuality, along with harsh shoves into lockers. He stripped down, getting ready for his daily afterschool shower, to wash away the smells and stickiness of the day, before his dad got home from the shop.
Feeling alone was an emotion well known to Kurt, however this time, it felt so much worse. He noticed the razor that he used to rid of stubble placed precariously on the sink edge. He ran the warm water for his shower, twiddling the razor between his fingers, wondering if he could turn this into a weapon. He pressed the cold blades to his arm, before deciding that it would be too obvious.
The warm water fogged the room, as Kurt pressed the blue razor to his hip, before jerking it sideways. It burned as it tore his skin, as blood prickled on his porcelain skin. The control over the pain gave him a bit of a high. He must have dug the razor into his skin five more times before calling it quits for the day. It was like everything that had happened during the day was released from his body. He relished in that feeling.
The younger boy drifted out of his reverie as Blaine's rough hands rubbed comforting circles on his bare back. It was then that Kurt became aware of how hard he had started sobbing while trapped in his thoughts.
"I'm sorry," Kurt muttered, feeling his throat closing up from crying to hard. Blaine let out a light laugh, pressing his lips to Kurt's hairline.
"For what?" Blaine asked, as Kurt sniffled and picked his head up off of the tearstained shirt.
"For all of this," Kurt managed to get out, as his lower lip quivered helplessly and his chest was heaving. Blaine pushed the younger boy's head back into his chest.
"Don't be," Blaine whispered, his hand making thoughtless circles Kurt's smooth skinned back, "As long as you never tried to take your own life" – Kurt furiously shook his head against the fabric – "Then, it's all in the past."
Kurt tried to pull himself together, as Blaine's warm hands ran the length of Kurt's spine, sending goose bumps shooting through the fairer-haired boy's body. He bit down on his lower lip, trying to gauge the last time he felt so safe in someone's arms, concluding it must have been when his mother was still around.
"Thank you," Kurt mumbled, the words hitting the soft gray fabric of the Dalton Athletics shirt, which was stained with his tears.
"For what?" Blaine asked, as a wave of déjà vu swept over him; he hoped that Kurt didn't say something as ridiculous as before.
"For just being you," Kurt mused, as Blaine could feel Kurt's smile grow against his chest.
"Want to explain?" Blaine asked softly in Kurt's ear, which sent another bout of goose bumps soaring through his body, as the hot breath tickled his neck.
"Just... You're perfect," Kurt's tongue betrayed him, as his cheeks started to heat up with embarrassment. He had not meant for those words to slip out. He kicked his brain into overdrive to think of some way to cover the accidental word spillage.
"Blaine," Wes' voice rang out, before Kurt's dorm door was thrown open, "I thought you said –"
"Come on, Wes," David said, tugging his friend back out of the room, wanting to give them their privacy back.
"But, they're... This is the moment we've been waiting for!" Wes exclaimed, as the two boys separated from their tight embrace. Kurt's hands were quick to fold over the scars which contrasted with his porcelain skin.
"He could care less about those," Blaine said, wrapping his arm around the insecure boy, "He's more interested in trying to figure out what was going on in here."
Kurt didn't say a word as he ignored Blaine's fingers drumming at his scarred hip, as he tried to rid his cheeks from their stains. He didn't even want to think about how red and puffy his eyes were from his crying-fest. He sniffled, thinking there was never a time when tears were soothing, rather than full of hate.
"So, will you come to the pool with us?" Blaine hopefully asked, again, as his eyes caught the red-rimmed baby blue ones; he gave Kurt a quick squeeze, "You could put on a shirt, and read Vogue in the shade. I'll keep Wes and David away from trying to throw you in the pool."
"Okay," Kurt said, though no words came out. Blaine's arm dropped from being sinuously wrapped around Kurt, allowing the latter boy to grab a white V-neck. He pulled it over his read, enjoying the feeling of his past habits being covered, and then grabbed his Vogue.
"By the way," Blaine said, grabbing Kurt's shoulder, as he went to leave his room, "If you ever think about... you know, you call me. I don't care if it's four in the morning, or in the middle of class. Okay?"
The younger boy simply nodded, as his eyes welled up with tears yet again, which was quickly noticed by the curly haired boy. In one swift movement, they were wrapped up in another tight embrace.
"This isn't necessary," Kurt quietly protested, enjoying Blaine's body pressed against him, but he didn't need to be babied. The fairer-haired boy was just about to explain the cause of the tears, which were in no way related to sadness, but Blaine peeled himself away.
"Come on, the pool is waiting," Blaine said, taking Kurt's smaller hand in his, reveling in the different textures of their hands. It was calloused resting against baby soft, perfectly at ease.
"Did you guys get it on?" Wes suggestively asked, the second Kurt's door was pushed open. The two boys with intertwined hands rolled their eyes at their friends. Wes pushed on, "I'm being serious. What happened in there?"
Blaine looked over to Kurt, who was on autopilot, mentally begging Wes to stop talking. He snapped out of his thoughts as Blaine's thumb started rubbing any part of Kurt's hand that it could reach. Wes was still prattling off what his overactive imagination came up with.
"You tell him when you're ready," Blaine softly said, as Kurt mindlessly nodded; his mind was swimming back to when Blaine told his secrets for him. The four of them became close friends in January, and naturally, Wes was getting curious for Kurt's sudden transfer. After two months of Kurt staying tightlipped about Karofsky's lip-rape and death threat, Blaine finally cracked.
"I bet you two were making gay babies," Wes finally proclaimed, as they arrived at the private Dalton swimming pool, which was housing many of the Dalton students.
Blaine untangled his hand from Kurt's as he tugged his shirt over his head, and then fluffed his curls out. Kurt found it increasingly hard not to stare at his friend's defined abdomen, especially after his eyes caught a line of lighter scar tissue near the happy trail, which led to seeing more splayed by the band of his swim trunks. The porcelain skinned boy pulled Blaine back to their shaded table after Wes and David went cannonballing into the deep end.
A moment of silence passed, while a group of bathing suit clad Dalton boys walked past. Even then Kurt didn't say anything, his eyes just flickered down, as Blaine understood what Kurt knew. The curly haired boy gave a pathetic smile, as Kurt bit down on his lip.
"Here's a pact to never giving into old temptations," Blaine said, sticking his pinky out, which Kurt was quick to link his with.
"And, if you ever think about... you know, you have to call me. I don't care if it's four in the morning, or in the middle of class. Okay?" Kurt said what he previously promised Blaine, complete with a smile that threatened to eat his face.
"I promise," Blaine breathlessly said, as Kurt drew him into a hug. The both of them drew from the comfort of each other conveyed in one hug. Kurt sat down, as his arms dropped from being wrapped around Blaine's toned torso. Blaine took the seat next to him, resting his hand on top of Kurt's, "Mind if I read Vogue with you?"
I just had to end this. I think it started out well, then spiraled into this, and I realized that I didn't know where it was going. But, I couldn't stretch it out anymore. I would love to hear what anyone has to say about this.