Title - Find My Way Back to You
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG
Keywords - JMPR/Angst, minor character death
Spoilers - The Pretender 2001
Summary - Miss Parker finds the ultimate bait for trapping Jarod. But her heart is what ends up being captured.
Disclaimer - Not my characters. I'm just using them for some fun. They'll be returned when I'm done.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Find My Way Back To You
by Nicky
Broots allows his fingers to lazily fly across the keyboard.
There hasn't been much to look for in awhile. Not since the
shoot out in that warehouse. Jarod seems to have disappeared.
And Miss Parker didn't seem to really care about finding him
anymore. With both Raines and her father still hospitalized,
there wasn't really anyone forcing the issue. Even Lyle seemed
to care more about sinister money making schemes than about
finding Jarod.
Broots is about to give up and go to his online game community
and is shocked when one of his alerts sounds. He had little
internet ads all over the place to have anyone contact him if
they have any information on Jarod or his family. This is the
first hit he's ever gotten.
He quickly opens the message he received and scans it's contents.
What he reads almost stops him cold. He rereads it a few times
to make sure he saw the correct information. Sure enough, he
read it right the first time. There was no way he'd be able to
keep this from Miss Parker. With a sigh of regret, he reaches
for the phone to dial her extension.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miss Parker steps out of her rental car and is instantly
assaulted by the steamy spring day. It was just barely above
freezing when she left Blue Cove early that morning. Here she
was now in South Carolina and it was mid eighties. She had
driven all night to get there, not wanting to waste time trying
to book a flight. She didn't want Lyle to find out about her
trip either. Another reason for sneaking off in the middle of
the night and driving all the way down south.
Broots had called her yesterday afternoon with a lead she just
couldn't resist. After all these years of searching, she finally
found a way to lure Jarod. She found something that he wouldn't
be able to resist. Or at least, Broots found it and promptly
reported it to her. Miss Parker was just there to verify the
information. But she could feel that this was it. This was the
break she was waiting for.
Miss Parker can barely contain her excitement as she walks up the
front steps of the building in front of her. The cool air from
inside meets her and she silently thanks the inventor of the air
conditioner for the reprieve from the heat outside.
"Can I help you, Miss?" the nurse at the front desk asks. She
was an older lady, Miss Parker noticed. Not entirely unpleasant,
but not exactly welcoming either. Probably comes with the
territory of working in a hospital for so long. Miss Parker
flashes a nervous smile before answering.
"Actually, yes. I contacted you about the unidentified patient.
Do you think you could show me to the room?" Miss Parker tries
to wipe away the look of smug victory she knows is in her eyes in
order to avoid making this woman suspicious. The woman eyes her
carefully before deciding to let her through.
"ICU," the woman says. "Room 423."
Miss Parker thanks her and heads towards the elevator. The ride
up was excrutiatingly slow. She can hardly believe it's going to
be this easy. She'd have Jarod back at the Centre by morning.
The ride finally halts and the doors open. Miss Parker walks
down the long hallway to room 423, trying hard not to run. She
gets to the room and quietly pushes the door open, not wanting to
alert whoever was inside.
Which wouldn't be a problem, Miss Parker notices. There wasn't
going to be anything to disturb this patient. She suddenly
cringes at the sight before her. A small, frail, pale woman
lying in a sea of wires and tubes coming from various machines
and monitors. The room had a deathly chill that went straight to
Miss Parker's bones. The excitement she once felt was now
replaced by guilt and dread. How could she even think about
doing this? How could she even considering luring Jarod here to
capture him. That was at the back of her mind now. A greater
task was at hand. As a tear fell down her face, she tried to
figure out just how to tell Jarod that his mother was dying.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jarod races down the hallway, only marginally glancing around to
make sure this wasn't a trap. He got word from Miss Parker to
meet her here. It sounded important and he trusted her when she
promised it would just be her. No sweepers. She didn't promise
not to take him back to the Centre, so he had to be sure to keep
his eye on her.
Jarod slows his pace when he sees Miss Parker standing at the end
of the hall. He makes one more sweeping glance of the hallway to
see that she kept up her end of the deal before walking towards
her. He's instantly concerned when he notices her eyes. It
looks as if she'd been crying.
"I came here to take you back to the Centre. I knew you wouldn't
be able to resist coming to see who's through that door," Miss
Parker says, unable to look him in the eyes. She doesn't say any
more and he takes that as a sign to enter the room.
Taking a deep breath, he pushes open the door, slowly walking
into the room. He loses his ability to breath when he sees the
woman on the bed.
"Mom," he squeaks out through the tears now flooding down his
face. He goes to the bedside, grabbing the limp hand in his own.
He lifts his mother's lifeless hand to his lips and kisses it
gently.
"Broots got a tip on her location," Miss Parker explains. "I
came to make sure she was here. Then I was going to make sure
you knew where she was. When you came to see her, I would have
you. I just never thought I'd find her . . . . like this." New
tears spring to her eyes which she quickly wipes away. This
wasn't for her to grieve. This was Jarod's time.
"Is she . . . " Jarod starts before stopping abruptly. He
doesn't need to finish asking the question. He can see it in
Miss Parker's eyes. His mother did not have much time.
"I'll leave you two alone," she whispers before running out the
door. She gets out into the hallway and can't shake the cold
feeling of death off. She had to get out of there. She runs
down the hall and doesn't stop until she reaches the exit.
Pushing the doors open, she finds the previously uncomfortable
March heat welcoming.
She doesn't try to stop the tears this time as they flood down
her face. She's responsible for this. As much as she tries to
blame the Centre for everything, she's at fault. She's a part of
the Centre. And she's accountable for the pain it inflicts.
She's responsible for the pain Margaret and Charles felt over
losing not one, but both their sons. She's responsible for this
sad reunion coming too late. More than likely, this is still the
life Jarod would have had if she hadn't been his huntress, but
that still didn't stop the guilty tears. Two decades of guilt
could not be washed away by tears.
A cool breeze blows across her face and Miss Parker realizes that
night is falling. She had been outside for a few hours now.
Capturing Jarod was not an option anymore. She should just go back
to the Centre and leave him in peace. But she couldn't do that.
Something inside of her just needed to make sure he was okay.
She stands to go back inside when she notices that Jarod's
standing behind her.
"She's gone," he says, his voice scratchy from his sobs.
"How long have you been out here?" Miss Parker asks him.
"About an hour."
"Jarod, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I didn't . . . This is .
. . I'm sorry." She lowers her head, the guilt still weighing
heavy on her heart. She wants him to forgive her. To tell her
it really isn't her fault. To make her feel better. Even though
she knows she doesn't deserve it. But the words never came. Not
that she expected them to.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she whispers. "I
should go."
"Stay . . . please," a weak cry escapes from him. "I can't do
this alone, Miss Parker."
"Why do you want me here? After all I've done. I'm responsible
for this. I'm responsible for this pain," she cries. She feels
his hands move to her face, gently wiping away the tears as they
fell. Then she hears the words she thought she wanted to hear
from him.
"It's not your fault," he tells her.
She looks up into his eyes, not believing what he just said. She
couldn't believe that after all that's happened, he was standing
there exonerating her of her sins. He was forgiving her.
Through his grief, he found a way to comfort her when she should
be comforting him.
She allows herself to fall into his arms for one brief moment.
To have one moment of comfort and happiness. But only one. With
a sigh, she reluctantly pulls herself from his embrace.
"I can't do this, Jarod. Not now. You may have forgiven me, but
I can't forgive myself. Not for being a part of that place. For
being part of bringing so much misery to your life. For luring
you to your mother's deathbed and then being too much of a coward
to even offer you solace. I can't be what you need."
"Miss Parker, don't your realize that you're the only thing I've
ever needed? Ever since I first met you, I . . . "
"But I'm not that little girl anymore, Jarod," she interrupts.
"You loved her. And she loved you. But she's gone now. I don't
even know who she is anymore. This person I've become is a
monster. And I don't deserve you. Or your love."
"That little girl is still a part of you, Miss Parker. You just
have to let her out," Jarod assures. "I can still see her. And
one day, you'll see her again. I miss that little girl."
"She misses you too," Miss Parker whispers. The tears are
falling fresh and Miss Parker knows she must leave before she
gives into her feelings and stays forever.
Instead of leaving, Miss Parker finds herself moving towards
Jarod, being pulled by some unknown force. Her mouth unerringly
finds his, and for one endless kiss the world stops. All she feels
is the electricity in Jarod's touch. She wanted the kiss to go on
forever, but she has to pull away because of her lungs burning for air.
She sees Jarod reach for her again, but this time she's able to step away.
"I have to go, Jarod," she says once more, moving a little
further from him. Getting one last look at him, a smile graces
her face. "But, I'll be back. I'm going to find my way back to
you. That little girl is still in there. And thanks to you, I
think I know where to find her now."
She reaches out to touch him once more, but stops herself short.
If she touched him again, she'd never be able to let him go.
They both had to go and deal with this grief apart. Shed all the
layers of hatred grown over the past few years and reveal the
young souls they once were. The young souls who were devoted to
each other and vowed to be together forever. Ironically, Jarod's
mother's death was giving those souls another chance at love.
And this time, they were going to get it right.
The end . . . maybe ;-)
Feedback please. Let me know what you think.
Author - Nicky
Rating - PG
Keywords - JMPR/Angst, minor character death
Spoilers - The Pretender 2001
Summary - Miss Parker finds the ultimate bait for trapping Jarod. But her heart is what ends up being captured.
Disclaimer - Not my characters. I'm just using them for some fun. They'll be returned when I'm done.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Find My Way Back To You
by Nicky
Broots allows his fingers to lazily fly across the keyboard.
There hasn't been much to look for in awhile. Not since the
shoot out in that warehouse. Jarod seems to have disappeared.
And Miss Parker didn't seem to really care about finding him
anymore. With both Raines and her father still hospitalized,
there wasn't really anyone forcing the issue. Even Lyle seemed
to care more about sinister money making schemes than about
finding Jarod.
Broots is about to give up and go to his online game community
and is shocked when one of his alerts sounds. He had little
internet ads all over the place to have anyone contact him if
they have any information on Jarod or his family. This is the
first hit he's ever gotten.
He quickly opens the message he received and scans it's contents.
What he reads almost stops him cold. He rereads it a few times
to make sure he saw the correct information. Sure enough, he
read it right the first time. There was no way he'd be able to
keep this from Miss Parker. With a sigh of regret, he reaches
for the phone to dial her extension.
* * * * * * * * * *
Miss Parker steps out of her rental car and is instantly
assaulted by the steamy spring day. It was just barely above
freezing when she left Blue Cove early that morning. Here she
was now in South Carolina and it was mid eighties. She had
driven all night to get there, not wanting to waste time trying
to book a flight. She didn't want Lyle to find out about her
trip either. Another reason for sneaking off in the middle of
the night and driving all the way down south.
Broots had called her yesterday afternoon with a lead she just
couldn't resist. After all these years of searching, she finally
found a way to lure Jarod. She found something that he wouldn't
be able to resist. Or at least, Broots found it and promptly
reported it to her. Miss Parker was just there to verify the
information. But she could feel that this was it. This was the
break she was waiting for.
Miss Parker can barely contain her excitement as she walks up the
front steps of the building in front of her. The cool air from
inside meets her and she silently thanks the inventor of the air
conditioner for the reprieve from the heat outside.
"Can I help you, Miss?" the nurse at the front desk asks. She
was an older lady, Miss Parker noticed. Not entirely unpleasant,
but not exactly welcoming either. Probably comes with the
territory of working in a hospital for so long. Miss Parker
flashes a nervous smile before answering.
"Actually, yes. I contacted you about the unidentified patient.
Do you think you could show me to the room?" Miss Parker tries
to wipe away the look of smug victory she knows is in her eyes in
order to avoid making this woman suspicious. The woman eyes her
carefully before deciding to let her through.
"ICU," the woman says. "Room 423."
Miss Parker thanks her and heads towards the elevator. The ride
up was excrutiatingly slow. She can hardly believe it's going to
be this easy. She'd have Jarod back at the Centre by morning.
The ride finally halts and the doors open. Miss Parker walks
down the long hallway to room 423, trying hard not to run. She
gets to the room and quietly pushes the door open, not wanting to
alert whoever was inside.
Which wouldn't be a problem, Miss Parker notices. There wasn't
going to be anything to disturb this patient. She suddenly
cringes at the sight before her. A small, frail, pale woman
lying in a sea of wires and tubes coming from various machines
and monitors. The room had a deathly chill that went straight to
Miss Parker's bones. The excitement she once felt was now
replaced by guilt and dread. How could she even think about
doing this? How could she even considering luring Jarod here to
capture him. That was at the back of her mind now. A greater
task was at hand. As a tear fell down her face, she tried to
figure out just how to tell Jarod that his mother was dying.
* * * * * * * * * *
Jarod races down the hallway, only marginally glancing around to
make sure this wasn't a trap. He got word from Miss Parker to
meet her here. It sounded important and he trusted her when she
promised it would just be her. No sweepers. She didn't promise
not to take him back to the Centre, so he had to be sure to keep
his eye on her.
Jarod slows his pace when he sees Miss Parker standing at the end
of the hall. He makes one more sweeping glance of the hallway to
see that she kept up her end of the deal before walking towards
her. He's instantly concerned when he notices her eyes. It
looks as if she'd been crying.
"I came here to take you back to the Centre. I knew you wouldn't
be able to resist coming to see who's through that door," Miss
Parker says, unable to look him in the eyes. She doesn't say any
more and he takes that as a sign to enter the room.
Taking a deep breath, he pushes open the door, slowly walking
into the room. He loses his ability to breath when he sees the
woman on the bed.
"Mom," he squeaks out through the tears now flooding down his
face. He goes to the bedside, grabbing the limp hand in his own.
He lifts his mother's lifeless hand to his lips and kisses it
gently.
"Broots got a tip on her location," Miss Parker explains. "I
came to make sure she was here. Then I was going to make sure
you knew where she was. When you came to see her, I would have
you. I just never thought I'd find her . . . . like this." New
tears spring to her eyes which she quickly wipes away. This
wasn't for her to grieve. This was Jarod's time.
"Is she . . . " Jarod starts before stopping abruptly. He
doesn't need to finish asking the question. He can see it in
Miss Parker's eyes. His mother did not have much time.
"I'll leave you two alone," she whispers before running out the
door. She gets out into the hallway and can't shake the cold
feeling of death off. She had to get out of there. She runs
down the hall and doesn't stop until she reaches the exit.
Pushing the doors open, she finds the previously uncomfortable
March heat welcoming.
She doesn't try to stop the tears this time as they flood down
her face. She's responsible for this. As much as she tries to
blame the Centre for everything, she's at fault. She's a part of
the Centre. And she's accountable for the pain it inflicts.
She's responsible for the pain Margaret and Charles felt over
losing not one, but both their sons. She's responsible for this
sad reunion coming too late. More than likely, this is still the
life Jarod would have had if she hadn't been his huntress, but
that still didn't stop the guilty tears. Two decades of guilt
could not be washed away by tears.
A cool breeze blows across her face and Miss Parker realizes that
night is falling. She had been outside for a few hours now.
Capturing Jarod was not an option anymore. She should just go back
to the Centre and leave him in peace. But she couldn't do that.
Something inside of her just needed to make sure he was okay.
She stands to go back inside when she notices that Jarod's
standing behind her.
"She's gone," he says, his voice scratchy from his sobs.
"How long have you been out here?" Miss Parker asks him.
"About an hour."
"Jarod, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I didn't . . . This is .
. . I'm sorry." She lowers her head, the guilt still weighing
heavy on her heart. She wants him to forgive her. To tell her
it really isn't her fault. To make her feel better. Even though
she knows she doesn't deserve it. But the words never came. Not
that she expected them to.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she whispers. "I
should go."
"Stay . . . please," a weak cry escapes from him. "I can't do
this alone, Miss Parker."
"Why do you want me here? After all I've done. I'm responsible
for this. I'm responsible for this pain," she cries. She feels
his hands move to her face, gently wiping away the tears as they
fell. Then she hears the words she thought she wanted to hear
from him.
"It's not your fault," he tells her.
She looks up into his eyes, not believing what he just said. She
couldn't believe that after all that's happened, he was standing
there exonerating her of her sins. He was forgiving her.
Through his grief, he found a way to comfort her when she should
be comforting him.
She allows herself to fall into his arms for one brief moment.
To have one moment of comfort and happiness. But only one. With
a sigh, she reluctantly pulls herself from his embrace.
"I can't do this, Jarod. Not now. You may have forgiven me, but
I can't forgive myself. Not for being a part of that place. For
being part of bringing so much misery to your life. For luring
you to your mother's deathbed and then being too much of a coward
to even offer you solace. I can't be what you need."
"Miss Parker, don't your realize that you're the only thing I've
ever needed? Ever since I first met you, I . . . "
"But I'm not that little girl anymore, Jarod," she interrupts.
"You loved her. And she loved you. But she's gone now. I don't
even know who she is anymore. This person I've become is a
monster. And I don't deserve you. Or your love."
"That little girl is still a part of you, Miss Parker. You just
have to let her out," Jarod assures. "I can still see her. And
one day, you'll see her again. I miss that little girl."
"She misses you too," Miss Parker whispers. The tears are
falling fresh and Miss Parker knows she must leave before she
gives into her feelings and stays forever.
Instead of leaving, Miss Parker finds herself moving towards
Jarod, being pulled by some unknown force. Her mouth unerringly
finds his, and for one endless kiss the world stops. All she feels
is the electricity in Jarod's touch. She wanted the kiss to go on
forever, but she has to pull away because of her lungs burning for air.
She sees Jarod reach for her again, but this time she's able to step away.
"I have to go, Jarod," she says once more, moving a little
further from him. Getting one last look at him, a smile graces
her face. "But, I'll be back. I'm going to find my way back to
you. That little girl is still in there. And thanks to you, I
think I know where to find her now."
She reaches out to touch him once more, but stops herself short.
If she touched him again, she'd never be able to let him go.
They both had to go and deal with this grief apart. Shed all the
layers of hatred grown over the past few years and reveal the
young souls they once were. The young souls who were devoted to
each other and vowed to be together forever. Ironically, Jarod's
mother's death was giving those souls another chance at love.
And this time, they were going to get it right.
The end . . . maybe ;-)
Feedback please. Let me know what you think.