I kneel before her, beneath this frozen sky
Beneath her shoulder, beneath her evil eye
She towers over, this male who is a fly
I beg below her, my limbs are paralyzed
She beats me harder than any kind of guy
My Sci-Fi Lullaby
"Leni" by Placebo
For once, the warmth of the beach surrounds me, and I hold her like I've always wanted to and always have. My meds are wearing off, but I know I don't need them anymore, because she's here with me, and she's my medicine. I trust her with all my heart. I always will.
I gaze down at her, and she looks back at me, that wide smile spreading across her face. Something in the back of my mind screams at me, but it is so much less important than what is in front of me. A gloved hand reaches up to caress my cheek and I close my eyes in anticipation.
And then the illusion shatters because her gentle hand turns into a fist with too much force behind it to be considered an accident. My face collides with the hard beach, blood spurting from my now broken nose, and I turn to stare at her in awe.
With soul-crushing clarity, I see the truth. Before me stands not my little love, but her corrupt clone. She holds the same smile as before, but without the rose tinted glasses I wore just moments before, I can't see it as her thrilling smile. Instead, this grin is twisted and cruel, and I know it could never come from my sweet friend.
I draw a ragged breath and feel the air chill around me; a side effect of the pills leaving my system. The sky above me is no longer the serene ultramarine I had remembered, having been replaced with a frigid black. Desperately, I try to hold onto the fuzzy numbness my pills give me, but the adrenaline now pumping in my body works against me. With every drop of blood from my nose, I can see any hope of normalcy leaking away.
I hear her heavy boots crush the trash underneath them and my attention snaps to her. Barely inches from me, she stops, and I'm forced to crane my neck up to look at her. We lock eyes, and I'm shocked I could ever think hers could pass for Noodle's. An intense onyx normally, but now a sadistic robotic-red tinged gleam shines through the shadow of her eyes.
Her hand reaches down to me, and I brace myself for the blow that doesn't come. I smell the leather of her glove as a finger smoothly grazes the top of my lip, scooping up a generous bit of blood. No longer smiling, she paints her lips with my blood and my breathing hitches. 'Those lips could belong to my Noodle' I think, and suddenly, I want them on me. Instantly, I hate myself. Instantly, I know I deserve everything her copy does to me.
I watch her foot as it reels back, with only one possible destination. Her steel-toed boot connects with my stomach with such force, I feel as if every atom in my body separates for a split second, and I watch my body soar through the air. My forehead is on the ground now, and I clutch my stomach in a vain attempt to both soothe my injury and keep my sanity together. She pulls me up by my matted hair and I'm surprised when it doesn't melt into fragments in her fist.
She places me on my knees again and I stare up at her, wondering how he could corrupt her image like this. The next kick comes faster than before and she pulls me up just as quick. Her familiar silhouette sends mixed messages to my brain. 'It's not her,' I desperately try to tell it, but it can't process the inverted cross that shimmers in the moonlight with every kick, or the way her upturned nose scrunches into a snarl at one side. All it knows is that it looks and sounds like her. I scrunch my eyes closed in an attempt to contradict what it knows.
Since the accidents, I've always listened to my heart first, brain second. But now as my heart shatters into a thousand shards, I can no longer rely on either of them. Every kick to my body is a shard that gets lost forever, unable to be put back. I'm sobbing now, I know this because her punts come harder than before. She halts her actions, but I barely register this; all I can think of is the pain my brain is telling me about. The pain my heart no longer knows.
"Noodle… please, Noodle," something pathetic weeps, and I feel sorry for it.
"2D-san," my imagination purrs, and it sounds so perfect and so real it just might be genuine. In a flurry, I open my eyes and the world spins around me in a mass of pinks and blues. It settles around the image of the girl I trust the most, and I make out that she is standing, straddling my body.
"2D-san, you disgust me." But that lovely, Noodle-girl smile doesn't match her words and I'm confused. I can't tell if it's the quick withdraw setting in from the pills, or if it is actually happening, but shit it looks like her. My brain tells me this.
"You are disgusting," she restates, just in case I didn't catch it the first time, and it hurts me much more than any of her kicks.
I think she probably sees that pain because her face breaks into that twisted grin, now mingled with glee and she resumes her beatings, worse than she's ever beat me up before. Worse than Murdoc has ever beat me before.
And every time I think of raising my hand to stop her, I am reminded of my Noodle, and the sweet memories we shared together. Be it falling asleep together to zombie flicks, taking joyrides in the Geep, long jam sessions in the studio, or the endearing bobble of her old radio hat, I am reminded. So I let her hit me. I let her hit me, and I know I deserve it because I know what I've done on this island. I am acutely aware that the ground is damp with my blood and tears.
I trust her image, even now as her copy beats me within an inch of my life.
Who would have guessed, THE FIRST SONG I've listened to on iTunes that wasn't Gorillaz since late JANUARY completely fucks my brain with 2D/Cyborg. I had to stop myself and not put extra sexy blood scenes in here. But with those scenes I would've wanted to emphasize how much of a psycho she is ;_; How do you guys think I did with 2D perspective? It's not the average portrayal of him, but I hope I did okay. Slowly chugging along to Working the Machine, I haven't forgotten about it.
Please read and review!