Nothing

by Light Catastrophe

Raiting: M

Warnings: lots of angst, implied slash

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Notes: This is the product of when I am really pissed and high off of pain killers and have insomnia.

It's very sad.

Feel free to flame.

Harry's point of view

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"Get your ass back here!" he screamed at me.

I turned around, cringing, hoping to some god who doesn't give a shit about me that he wouldn't hurt me.

Sad, huh? The boy-who-lived afraid of getting hurt. But I was. And he could hurt me if he wanted to. He had done it before, he would do it again.

Slap!

A hand smacked across my face, jerking my head. "Don't run away. You would be nothing - NOTHING - without me."

He was beautiful. It had been so easy to fall in love with him. He was smart, had good looks, and was popular. He had every thing. I had nothing. We had been so perfect for each other. We thought so. Everyone else thought so too.

But then something had happened. I didn't know what it was. He stopped telling me things. We no longer made love: we fucked. It hurt like hell. He was trying to leave me in pain. And he succeeded.

He was right though. I really was nothing without him.

It scared me.

I had nowhere to go.

A soft hand slapped my face again. I would have cried, but I had no more tears left within me.

We lived together now. It was after the war. After we had fallen in love, he had switched to the light side. Everything had been perfect for so long. But now I was leaving. I didn't know where I would go. I didn't know what I would do. I had no money. I had no belongings. I had nothing but the clothes on my back.

"You may be right," I said quietly, "I am nothing without you. But I can't go on like this. I can't go on being a someone who has nothing left to live for. A someone whose partner - whose soul mate - doesn't tell them anything any more. I'd rather be a nobody."

He drew back for a moment, at a loss as to what to say. I knew I had gotten to him. Once again I turned to leave.

This time he didn't say anything.

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As fate would have it, it was raining - downpouring really.

But I walked. On and on and on into the endless night. I had no destination. Maybe my destination was death. Death would be better than the vast darkness which had seemingly swallowed me up.

It rained for a week without letting up. I was beginning to get sick. I thought it was the stomach flu. That was logical enough. I had been living on the cold, damp streets for a week now.

That was how Hermione found me. Damp, lying in my own puke on the streets.

"Harry, is that you?"

I found myself back at the house that she and Ron had bought together after they got married. I remembered that day. It was one of the best days of my life. I had been happy back then. Draco had been happy.

Ron carried my small, mal-nourished body up the stairs and placed me on the bed where I fell asleep and didn't wake up for several days.

I really did become a nobody after that day. I didn't talk to anyone. All I did was sit in the room and stare out the window.

Hermione forced me to go out and buy groceries one day. I had no idea how long it had been since I had walked away.

He was there in the store, holding hands with another guy. I vaguely recognized him from school. Draco looked happy - way happier than when he had been with me. Had he been seeing this person before I left? Probably. It all made sense now.

He didn't love me.

He probably never had.

"Harry?" he asked, noticing me.

I caught his gaze- if only for a millisecond. And then I disappeared along with the small piece of my soul which I had managed to hold on to.

Blood is dripping down my arm, a river of red raging, taking my life.

What life?

I never had a life.

Everything I did had all been for nothing.

I didn't even try to hold on. I didn't want to live. I couldn't live.

I was nothing.

And thus, I slipped away.

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Dark, ne? Yes. I am in a really pissed off kind of mood. If you REALLY want to know just ask.

Tell me what you think. Even if you hated it.

Yes, originally, when I wrote "I thought it was the stomach flu" this was going to be mpreg. It just didn't turn out that way.