Shrektale
Ch 1: big bright beautiful world
WARNING: this story is mostly bested on the musical rather than the film.
Once upon a time, there was a little skeleton monster named Sans, who lived with his parents in a bog by a tree. It was a pretty nasty place, but he was happy because monsters were used to nasty.
On his birthday, the little skeleton monster's parents sat him down to talk, just as all skeleton monster's parents had for hundreds of years before.
[Mama skeleton:]
Listen son, you're growing up so quickly,
Growing up, bigger by the day.
She sang with a gentle smile on her face
[Papa skeleton:]
Although we want you here,
The rules are very clear-
He sang with an encouraging smile on his face.
[Mama skeleton:]
Now you're seven...
[Papa skeleton:]
Now you're seven...
[Both:]
So it's time to go away.
Little Sans looked socked 'WHAT' his mind scream.
[Papa skeleton:]
Your Mama packed a sandwich for your trip.
He hands Sans a backpack filed with things he might need.
[Mama skeleton:]
Your Papa packed your boots in case of snow.
[Both:]
You're gonna make us proud.
No backing up allowed.
[Mama skeleton:]
Just keep walking...
[Papa skeleton:]
Just keep walking...
[Both:]
and you'll find somewhere to go.
It's a big bright beautiful world,
with happiness all around.
It's peaches and cream
and every dream comes true...
But not for you.
It's a big, bright, beautiful world,
with possibilities everywhere.
And just around the bend,
there's a friend or two...
But not for you.
'well that's just great' Sans thinks to him self as he starts walking down the hill, towards the woods, with his parents still singing and encouraging him.
[Mama skeleton:]
You're ugly son,
which means that life is harder.
People hate the things they cannot understand.
As she sang this a big proction of people with solders matched by, amongst them was, a young girl with short brown hair, wearing purple dress, with a blue ribbon the just below her chest. She spotted Sans and instead of screaming like his parents protected, she smiled and waved, Sans grind and waved back shyly. That grin disappeared however when, the girls farther, a short man with a crown noticed the exchange scolded, grabbed his daughter by the shoulders and order the soldiers to chase Sans away.
[Papa skeleton:]
And when they look at us,
they tend to make a fuss.
[Mama skeleton:]
Burn our houses down.
[Papa skeleton:]
and chase us...
[Both:]
Off our land.
[Papa skeleton:]
It's important that you find a cozy cesspit.
[Mama skeleton:]
A place no one would ever dare to tread.
[Both:]
And if they happen by,
make sure you terrify them.
[Mama skeleton:]
If you don't, son...
[Papa skeleton:]
If you don't, son...
[Both:]
Then you'll surely wind up dead.
'oh joy' Sans thought to himself as he walked farther away from his old home.
[Mama skeleton:]
Good-bye!
[Papa skeleton:]
Good-bye!
[Mama skeleton:]
Watch out for men with pitch-forks!
[Sans's Voiceover:]
And so the little monster went off and found a muddy patch of swampland, along the way crowds would welcome him with festive torches, hatchet and fun things like that, but when the little monster tried to join in the fun, his new friend would suddenly realize they had other things to do. So the little monster found a lovely swamp far, far away from the world that despised him. And there he stayed for many years. Tucked away, and all alone...which was just the was he liked it.
There was a flushing noise emanating from a small hut in the middle of the swamp, the handle giggled but the door refused to open. "OH GOD, NOT AGAIN" yelled a voice from inside, suddenly the hut glowed blue and burst up into the sky, revealing and tall adult skeleton wearing a blue tunic with brown pants and a thick leather belt around his waist.
[Sans:]
Keep your big bright beautiful world.
I'm happy where I am, all alone.
I got all I need,
so read the stinkin' sign!
He said sticking a homemade beware sign in the ground with a picture of a skull and cross bones on it, the skull being a replica of his own face baring his teeth.
Keep your big bright beautiful world.
I party on my own anyway.
Doin' what I can
with a one-man conga line.
Doing a little boogie dance on his own in front of his house.
Yeah, your big bright beautiful world
is all teddy bears and unicorns.
Take your fluffy fun,
and shove it where the sun don't shine!
He went up to his deckchair and lounged into it with a bottle of ketchup in hand, gluging it down.
I prefer a life like this-
it's not that complicated.
Sure, I'm fated to be lonely,
and I'm destined to be hated.
If you read the books, they say
it's why I was created.
But I don't care,
'cause being liked
is grossly overrated.
Who needs a big bright beautiful world?
He through the empty ketchup bottle aside, and starts dancing in a very up beet way.
I got my own little patch of the world!
It's not a big bright beautiful world,
but it's mine! Alone!
It's mine!
And it's mine!
All mine!
Sans then goes inside the house and emerges with an arm full of beware sighs and marches of to pin them to more trees.