Part One: Date Plans
"And stay out!" Shouted a man in an angry voice. He pushed a girl out of the doorway of a small coffee house.
"But it was just a bad set, we've all been there before!" The girl said.
The man's angry expression soured even further. "No it wasn't just a bad set." he said. "It was the worst set I've ever seen in my life, and I've hosted these comedy nights for thirty years!"
"Just give me another chance, I'll be funnier next week!" Luan pleaded.
"You said that last week, and the week before that, and The week before that!" He replied. "Face it kid, you're not funny."
Luan's eyes widened. "I'm not….funny?" She said.
"Nope." He said before slamming the door on her.
Defeated, Luan started walking home. She pulled out a piece of paper and found the passage "Mocha Loco Saturday 6:30 P.M." and drew a big red line through it. That was the third place with an open comedy night that had permanently banned her. She was running out of places to perform. If things kept going this way, she would be essentially be banned from comedy in Michigan.
"If only I was 21, then I would have at least a dozen other places." She said.
She watched her feet the entire times he walked, very rarely looking up other than to check the street before crossing. She she stumbled on an empty soda can on the sidewalk, she decided to take out of rage.
"Not funny huh? I'll show you who's not funny!"
She started stomping on the can repeatedly until it was little more than a flat piece of aluminum. By that point, Luan's face was as red as the can once was, her teeth grinding on each other.
"Are you ok?" Asked a voice.
Luan turned around and saw a concerned looking middle aged woman behind her. She put on a smile and tried to act casual.
"Oh I'm great, I was just trying to put the stomp on public littering." She said. "Haha, get it?"
The woman looked at her like she was crazy. "Um...ok, we'll have a good time with that." She said before quickly leaving in the other direction.
Luan glared at her as she left. "She didn't say if she got it…" As she stared, she didn't notice, but her fists were clenched and shaking profusely. Then as if nothing had happened, she snapped out of it.
"Oh, what time is it? I should probably get home." She said. She turned around and started on her way back home.
The scene at home was mostly typical. Her brother Lincoln was sprawled on the couch, reading a comic book in his underwear. A typical habit of his. Lori was texting away on her phone, Leni was watching a reality show, Lola was doing her makeup, Lana was on the floor playing with the dog, Lucy was writing in her poetry pad, Lynn was bouncing a ball against the wall, and Lisa was reading some kind of mathematics study. Luna appeared to be in her own world, banging her head while wearing headphones. And finally, her youngest sibling Lily was playing with a teddy bear.
"You're home early, didn't you have a thing tonight?" Lincoln asked, looking up from his comic.
"I don't want to talk about it." Luan replied.
Lynn laughed. "Haha, someone bombed."
"I did not bomb!" Luan defended. "My jokes were just a little too complex was all."
"Did they laugh?" Lynn asked.
"Well….no."
"Then you bombed. Simple as that." Lynn said. "Take it from me, it's all about the ending. I can say I played well all I want, but if I lost, then that game was a bust."
Luan started to get angry. "It's not the same with comedy. There's a more subtle craft to it!"
"I never said there wasn't." Lynn replied. "But the end goal is to get them to laugh, and you didn't make that happen. So you bombed, own up it and move on."
"Fine I will move on." Luan said. "From this conversation that is!" She stormed up the stairs.
"That one wasn't that great either." Lynn called out with a snicker.
Noticing Luan's obvious anger, Lincoln turned to Lynn. "Easy there Lynn, maybe we should be more encouraging."
"Why would I want to do that?" She asked.
Lincoln leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Because tomorrow is April first."
Lynn dropped her ball. "Oh no. i completely forgot." She grabbed onto Lincoln's shoulders and began shaking him. "You don't think she'll go extra hard on me do you?!"
"I don't know, she's never been angry right before April Fools Day before." Lincoln said. "We could all be in for a rough day!"
"Relax you two, Luan promised that she wouldn't prank us anymore after the last time." Lori said, not looking up from her phone.
"Yeah, we're in the clear." Lucy said.
"Whew, that's a relief." Lynn sighed.
Meanwhile, Luan was having a fit in her room. She was on her knees on the bed, punching her pillow.
"Bombed?! I'll show you who bombed!" She shouted as she punched over and over. After punching an uncountable amount of times, she feel into it and started crying. "She's right, I'm useless." She sobbed. "I can't be funny if my life depended on it."
Feeling alone, Luan looked on the ground and found Mr. Coconuts, her ventriloquy dummy. She picked it up and started talking with it.
"Don't beat yourself up Luan, that's my job cha cha." Mr. Coconuts said.
"But she's right Mr. Coconuts, i'm did bomb tonight. The owner even barred me from the shop."
"The only thing that bombed tonight was their espresso shot, I've had paint that tasted better."
Luan started to laugh. "Oh Mr. Coconuts, you always know what to say."
"Of course I do, one of us has to be the brains of this operation." Mr. Coconuts replied.
"Mr. Coconuts, you don't have any brains, you're made of wood." Luan said.
"And yet you're the dummy." Mr. Coconuts said. "Makes you think, don't it?"
Luan started to look annoyed. "Ok then smart guy, why do you think I've been so off lately?"
Mr. Coconuts started to laugh. "That one's easy, just look at the calendar."
Luna looked over to her calendar. It was a simple calendar, it had a picture of a cat dressed as a leprechaun on with the tagline "Happy Saint Katt's Day.". The longer she looked, the more confused she got.
"I'm looking, but I don't see anything special about it." She said. "The cat's pretty cute though."
Mr. Coconuts put his face in his palm. "You're more dense than my mahogany, look at the date!"
"Saturday, March 31st." Luan said. "I don't get what you're trying to tell me, nothing important is happening today.
"Arg, let me spell it out for you, tomorrow is April first!" He shouted. "You do know what that is, correct?"
"April Fools Day…" Luan said softly.
"Yes! You've been off you're game because you decided to not partake in your favorite holiday this year." Mr. Coconuts said. "So all you have to do pull some pranking tomorrow and you'll be ready to go."
"But I can't, I promised I would never prank them again." Luan said.
"Then they won't expect it; the unexpected is hilarious to everyone!"
"No, a promise is a promise." Luan said. "I love them too much to betray them like that."
"You love a bunch of unsupportive jerks like them?" Mr. Coconuts asked.
"Easy now, they're my family." Luan defended. "Sure they can be difficult, but they support me when it counts."
"Really now, when was the last time they laughed at one of your jokes?"
Luan struggled to find an answer.
"Admit it toots, they just roll their eyes and groan at your jokes." Mr. Coconuts said. "When they don't just walk away that is."
"That's not true and you know it!" Luan shouted.
"Mr. Coconuts got a smug look in his eye. "Alright, why don't we go test the theory right now." He said. "Winner buys the other a bottle of seltzer."
Luan started to shake a little. "I don't know, they seem so preoccupied right now, we should do this another time."
"What's the matter, scared?" Mr. Coconuts said in a heckling manner. "I don't blame you, only a dummy takes a bet he knows he can't win."
"I'm not a dummy and I'll prove it!"
Determined, Luan walked out of the room and started down the hallway. She knew her family found her funny, they had to right? When she reached the stairs, she started to hear them talk.
"I can't even imagine what Luan would have made us endure tomorrow." Lynn said.
"Yeah, last year was the worst!" Lana added.
"I wonder why she does it?" Leni asked.
"Isn't it obvious?" Replied Lola. "She finds our misery funny like some kind of lunatic!"
"That's pretty harsh…" Leni said.
Lola turned her head. "I speak only the truth."
"I guess you're right though, it is kinda crazy."
Lucy shuddered. "And the laugh she lets out while she does it even gives me the chills."
"Totally, she's a Luanatic!" Lynn said.
"Easy there, that pun was almost as bad as one of Luan's." Lori said with a scoff. "You don't want to channel her do you?"
Luan listened in horror while they all laughed at the Lori's remark.
"You...you were right." She said softly. "They don't find me funny."
"I would be a gloat boat right now, but my wood isn't very buoyant." Mr. Coconuts said.
"Not now, I'm not in the mood to joke." Luan said as she walked back to the room. She fell on the bed, she wanted to cry even more, but the tears just wouldn't come. "Luanatic." She scoffed. "Name puns are the lowest form of pun!"
"Have you given thought into my advice?" Mr. Coconuts asked.
"What was that again?" Luan replied.
"Prank them tomorrow!" He said.
Luan thought for a moment, then replied. "What's the point? They won't find it funny."
"And you're just gonna let them kick you like that?"
"What do you mean?"
"They don't respect you, they don't watch you perform, they just mock you. You were going on earlier about how much you love them, but they clearly don't love you."
"Mr. Coconuts, I don't know if that's right."
"Ok, tell me where I was wrong."
Luan started to think again. As the seconds passed, she got angrier and angrier.
"You're the queen of pranks, no one is funnier than you." Mr. Coconuts said. "You should give them the greatest prank of all time as punishment for doubting you!"
Luan started to laugh hysterically. "Oh don't worry buddy. I'll give them something them something truly grand." She placed the dummy back in her prop chest. There was a lot of prep work to be done, and not a lot of time to do it. As she snuck out the backdoor, she heard her siblings laugh some more. She gritted her teeth. "Laugh now, but when tomorrow comes, i'll be the one laughing!" She said before shutting the door behind her and disappearing without a trace.
That night, the members of the Loud family went to sleep peacefully. All of them oblivious to what the following day would have in store for them.
Part Two: The Carnival
Lynn woke up to the feeling of something dripping on her head. At first she was hesitant to wake up, but it didn't take long for her to gain consciousness.
"Ugh, my head's killing me…" She groaned. She went to rub her eyes, but noticed that she couldn't move her arms. "Huh?" She popped her eyes open. Her vision was blurry, but she could tell she wasn't in her bed. After blinking rapidly, she managed to clear her vision. She was tied to a chair on some circular wooden platform. The area around her was dark, but it looked a little like their basement. She turned her head. All of her siblings were also present. Each one was tied to a chair on the same wooden platform forming the entire circle. Each one facing outwards. "What's going on?" She said.
Lynn tried to free herself, but couldn't. "Hey guys, wake up!" She shouted. They all started slowly groaning, but none of them were fully awake. Just then, another drip hit her in the head. Lynn looked up and screamed, causing the others to instantly wake up.
"Whoa, what's going on?!" Lincoln shouted, trying his hardest to break out of the ropes.
As the others fidgeted with the ropes, Lynn just kept staring at the ceiling.
"What's wrong with you Lynn?" Lori asked. "Lynn?"
Without saying a word, Lynn turned her head and faced Lori. There were drops of blood all over her face. Her eyes wide like they had seen pure terror. Everyone screamed in horror at the sight.
"Who's blood is that?!" Leni asked, terrified of the answer.
"M-m-m-m-m-m-" Was ask Lynn could say.
Getting worried, Lisa looked up.. She gasped and then quickly looked away. "Whatever you do, don't look up!" She shouted, her voice showing a tinge of fear she had never expressed before.
In a sense of obvious irony, all of them looked up. Hanging from the ceiling were the heads of their parents. Blood dripping out of their gouged out eyes, and falling directly on Lynn's head. All of the Louds started to panic.
"Please let this be a nightmare!" Lola shouted.
"Oh, but where would the fun be in that?" Said a voice they knew all too well. They turned their attention to the corner of the room. Walking out of the shadows came none other than Luan herself. Dressed in a jester outfit.
"LUAN?! DID YOU DO THIS?!" Lori shouted.
"But of course dear sister, whom else did you expect?" She replied in a mocking tone.
"You've gone too far man!" Luna screamed. "Please tell us this is all a joke!"
Luan started to laugh. "A joke? Why of course it's a joke." She stopped laughing and made a truly horrifying glare with her eyes. A glare that could stare right into your soul. "But with this joke, I will be the only one laughing."
As the others started to scream some more, Luan walked over to a sheet that was covering something. "You all best get ready, because it's time for the show!" She pulled off the sheet and revealed a small crank next to a record player. "Luna dear sister, do you recognize this device?" She's asked as she pointed to the player.
Luna was scared, and unsure of what to do. But the expression on Luan's face told her that she better reply or else. She took a big gulp. "Um...that's an EMI Gramophone, right?" She replied.
Luan clapped her hands and flashed an encouraging smile. "Why yes, it is. Good for you,." Luan walked over and shoved a small cookie in Luna's mouth. "Normally I wouldn't have looked twice at this piece of junk, but the record that came with it gave me a certain...calling." She said as she went back to the gramophone. "I was saving it for a prank exclusive to you, but I feel I was able to appropriate it correctly to suit the whole lot."
Before anyone had the chance to ask questions, Luan started spinning the crank. It caused the entire wheel they were sitting on to spin slowly, causing more fear from the captive siblings. "Oh, where are my manners, I forgot to start the music." Luan said with a fake sense of surprise. "We can't have a carnival ride without music now can we?" Luan got an evil grin as she flipped a switch on the gramophone and dropped the needle onto the record. Scratching sounds were heard before a very familiar tune started playing. It was a little slower than they remembered, but every sibling recognized it almost instantly. A classic recording of "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down."
They all watched in fear as Luan hummed along as she made the wheel spin more and more. After a few seconds she stopped the music and let go of the crank, allowing the wheel to spin uncontrollably before stopping with Lana Lisa in front of her.
"Looks like you're up first Lisa." Luan said with a smile.
Lisa was shivering uncontrollably. "Wh-what are you gonna do to me?" She asked.
Luan's got a puzzled look. "Why, we're just gonna have some fun." She replied. "Isn't that what a ride is all about?"
Luan pulled grabbed the back of Lisa's chair and pulled her off of the wheel. She dragged it over to the middle of the room
"You're pretty smart, so I made an intelligent joke for you." Luan said, her hands behind her back. "Why did Karl Marx only drink awful tea?"
Lisa was unable to respond.
"Because all proper tea is theft. Get it?" Luan said, a devilish grin from cheek to cheek. "Speaking of tea, you better drink up." She handed Lisa a small cup.
Frightened by what Luan would do if she refused, Lisa grabbed the small cup of tea and drank it. Surprisingly, it tasted fine.
"Here's another one, why would it difficult for you to hem John Locke's jacket?" Luan asked.
Feeling more comfortable, Lisa replied. "I don't know, why?"
"Because like Socrates, you just drank hemlock!" Luan said.
Suddenly, Lisa started vomiting everywhere. Her chair fell back and she started to choke on her own vomit. Her siblings watched and screamed in horror. Lisa's eyes turned blood red before finally, she died to the sound of Luan's maniacal laughter, and the feeling of her own pain.
"Hahahah, that was fun." Luan said, whipping a tear from her eye. "Shall we continue with our ride now?"
She walked back over to the crank, turned the gramophone back on, and began spinning. This time whistling along with the music. When she stopped it again, it landed on Lana.
"Well well well, if it isn't the crude sister." Luan said. "Don't worry, this one will be easy." She pulled Lana away and held out a blender filled with a dark liquid. "There's no poison in this one. You just have to drink it and I'll let you go."
Lana's eyes got hopeful. "You mean it? You won't hurt me?"
Luan shook her head. "Nope, you just have to drink this and stomach it down." As she put the bender in front of her, she pulled it back. "However, if you don't drink it, or cough it up, then the punishment will be pretty severe."
Sweat started falling down Lana's face. "Oh….OK, I'll drink it!" She said. "Pour it in my mouth." Lana opened her mouth and anticipated the waterfall.
"You got it sis. But, wouldn't you like to know what it is you'll be drinking?" Luan asked.
Lana hesitated, but asked. "What is it?"
Luan's grin grew even bigger. "I call it purée de Lille." She said. "And that's of course because it's the entire body of Lily, crushed up and mixed into this lovely liquid you see here."
Lana started to kick and scream. "WHAT?! I CAN'T DRINK LILY!"
"Oh, but I thought you wanted to live?" Luan asked.
"I DO, BUT I CAN'T DRINK MY SISTER!"
"Make your choice Lana, death or cannibalism, you cannot have both."
Lana started shaking. She didn't know what to do. She could hear the screams and cries of her siblings behind her, and she knew they would have to watch her do it, which made the decision even harder. She finally let out a sigh. "Ok Luan, pour it in my mouth….Sorry Lily."
Luan laughed and then started draining the blended toddler down Lana's throat. It was thick and it tasted foul. Lana had been used to eating garbage, she enjoyed that. But this tasted like pure death. The rancid flavor was like nothing she had ever felt, halfway through the blender, she started thinking of her sister, and it caused her to gag, making all of it spill over. Seeing this, Lana gasped.
"Ooh, too bad Lana." Luan said. "It looks like you loose."
"WAIT, NO!" Lana screamed.
Luan pushed Lana's chair, causing her to fall over. Then, before Lana had time to react, Luan threw a massive morning star down on her head with all of her force. Lana's head crushed under the weight of the weapon, her blood gushing and squirting her siblings all over. Her twin Lola, being covered in it the most.
"AAAAAHHH" Lola screamed. She started vomiting uncontrollably. She not only witnessed her twin drink the blended remains of her youngest sister and then get murdered, she was now covered in her blood from head to toe.
Luan started laughing like an evil supervillain. "Poor Lana, resorting to cannibalism and having it all be for nothing." She said. "But hey, I guess most two for one deals are disappointing. Haha, get it?" Of course, Luan was well aware that her words were drowned out by the screams of her siblings, especially Lola. They could be so annoying.
Luan went back to her station and started spinning again. Only this time, she started to sing.
"Oh, the merry-go-round broke down, as we went round and round. Each time twould miss, we'd steal a kiss and the merry-go-round-went round~"
She stopped it and it landed on Leni. "Looks like you're up missy. And have I got a fun one for you." Luan said as she pulled Leni away.
"Please Luan, stop this, it's crazy!" Leni pleaded. But it was futile. Luan kept dragging her until she came to a marked spot. She stopped and lined up Leni's chair perfectly.
"This is a special spot Leni. You like fashion, so I made you something truly metal." Luan said. "A by that, I mean an iron maiden." Luan pressed a button and two metal slabs covered in spikes snapped together, crushing Leni.
The others watched in horror and Leni disappeared. All the could hear was a crushing sound, and then there was the site of blood pouring out from the metal box. But before they could grieve that love, Luan started back up.
"The merry-go-round broke down, and made the darndest sound. The lights went low, we both said oh and the merry-go-round broke down~"
This time, it stopped on Lucy. Luan was especially gleeful at this.
"Wonderful, I have just the solution for you." Luan said. She dragged Lucy over to a large contraption. "You like the dark, so I modified this tanning bed to be extra bright. Let's see how long you last."
"Wait, no, please!" Lucy shouted, this time with full emotion instead of her usual monotone.
Luan slammed the door shut and cranked it to max.
From the outside, all that could be heard was screams of pain. The inside was much more horrifying. The lights were so bright, they fried Lucy's retinas. She was blinded in seconds. The heat caused her skin to blister and pop. Her hair and clothes caught fire. Like the wicked witch in the Wizard Of Oz, Lucy started to melt. Only unlike that with, this melting was filled with pus and blood. Once the screams stopped, Luan turned off the machine and opened the door. Lucy was little more than a puddle of gooey flesh and white bones.
"It only took ten minutes to get your heart bleached Lucy." Luan said with a grin. "Haha, bleached,"
She turned back to her other siblings and began the spinning again.
"Oh what fun, a wonderful time. Finding love for only a dime~"
This time it landed on Lincoln. Who was already as white as his hair.
"Ah, if it isn't our famous little bro." Luan said. "Don't worry, this'll be a blast!" She dragged Lincoln over to a sheet and pulled it off. "Of course, I say that because I'll be launching you out of this canon and into the brick wall."
"Luan, stop this please!" He cried. "I don't want to die."
"Lincoln, you love slapstick, this joke is right up your alley." Luan replied. "And besides, it wouldn't be fair to our other sisters if I played favorites just because you were a boy."
Luan placed Lincoln, still tied up, in the cannon and lit the fuse. "Get ready to make a boom!" She shouted. The cannon popped and Lincoln was launched into the air at an incredibly high speed. He had only seconds to watch as he quickly splatted into the wall, shattering every bone in his body, killing him instantly. Luan stated to laugh even more. "Haha, talk about your ragdoll physics."
After her laugh, Luan went back to the game.
"The merry-go-round broke down, but you won't see me frown. Things turned out fine and now she's mine cause the merry-go-round broke down."
It landed on Lola, who had passed out from all the trauma.
"Aw, our little princess is asleep, if only we had a Prince Charming to wake her up." Luan said mockingly. "Oh well, I guess this acid will do!"
Luan pulled a rope and a bucket poured a bunch of acid over Lola's head. She screams and winced as it melted her face off, the fumes filled her lungs and burned them from the inside. Within seconds her face was little more than a bloody, skeletal remnant of its once pretty self and she sat their, lifeless like a painting.
"Moving on!" Luan said.
"Oh the merry-go-round went round~"
It hit Luna. Who by this point, had seen so many of her family members die in front of her, that she accepted her fate. "Just...just make this quick Luan."
Luan smirked. "Quick? Where's the fun in that?" She pushed Luna's chair into a small enclosure with a glass door and locked her in. "As you two can see, Luna is in a soundproof booth." Luan said, directed at Lori and Lynn. "This booth is designed to play a sound so loud that it will literally fry her brain. Observe."
Luan pressed a button on a remote. Lori and Lynn watched as Luna went from being normal, to shaking. Then from shaking, to her eyes buldging. Blood started dripping from her nose. Then her eyes, and then her ears. After forty whole minutes, Luna's head fell back, and she was lifeless.
"Don't worry. We may not have been able to hear it, but it was definitely the most painful of the deaths so far. I made sure of that." Luan laughed.
When she turned the record back on, there were no more lyrics to sing to, just the melody playing one last time. When the record ended, Lori was the sister the wheel stopped at.
"Second to last, not bad for the oldest." Luan said, genuinely impressed at Lori's luck. "How does it feel to watch almost all of your siblings die before you?"
"Fuck you Luan!" Lori shouted. "Fuck you!."
Luan pressed her forehead to Lori's and smiled. "Harsh sis, harsh." She dragged Lori over to a false floor. "You're above a trap door. Underneath is a both of piranha that have missed their scheduled feeding. I think you know how this goes." Luan started to laugh. "Let's see if their bite is worse than yours!" Luan pulled a lever and Lori fell. As soon as she hit the water, the piranha went to town on her body. They ripped her to shreds, taking each delicate piece of meat of her bones. Leaving a bloody red pool of water and bones.
"Oh, looks like they win." Luan giggled. "Speaking of winners…" Luan turned and faced Lynn. "Looks like you're the lucky one to survive until the end Lynn. Your streak is unharmed"
Lynn looked up at Luan, her eyes burning from crying the entire time. "And what do I get for winning?" She asked, knowing the answer would not be good.
Luan turned her back to Lynn. "I was originally going to hit you in the head with a softball launcher until your face was little more than a bloody hole...However." Luan turned back. "Seeing as you just saw all of this, I think I can let you go with an easy coup de grace."
"So, how are you going to kill me?"
Luan smiled. "Telling you isn't as fun." She dragged Lynn over to the dryer. "I think this explains everything."
Lynn's eyes grew wide. "No Luan, not like this. Don't kill me like this!"
Luan started laughing as she heard Lynn beg for mercy. This was what she wanted the most. She threw Lynn into the dryer and put a small bundle in it with her. "Consider this a present from me. I won't tell you what it is, but let's just say we will finally know who bombed," Luan said before slamming the dryer door and turning it on. She walked up the stairs as she listened to the sound of Lynn's body banging around. "Goodnight Loud House." She said before turning off the light of the basement and shutting the door.
Part 3: The Grand Finale
Luan laid on her bed and laughed uncontrollably. This was it. This was what she was looking for. She had wanted to find the perfect rush to make her feel funny again, and she had done it. All it cost was the death of her entire family. But to Luan, it was worth it. They deserved it.
She sat up and grabbed her dummy.
"I did it Mr. Coconuts, I pranked them really good." Luan said.
"Yeah, and did they laugh this time?" He asked.
"Well, let's just say they died laughing." Luan started to laugh some more. "I'm on fire today, I don't think I've ever been this funny!"
"Yes, but what are you going to do now?" Mr. Coconuts asked.
"What do you mean?" Luan replied.
"Well, you can't just walk around all Willy-Nilly, you just murdered 12 people."
"Oh Mr. Coconuts, don't worry about that. I never planned on leaving this house again." Luan said.
"Wait, what?!" Mr. Coconuts said in a concerned tone. "That's news to me! What are we gonna do?"
Luan smiled. "Oh don't worry, a certain heckler of ours is gonna give us an explosive reception."
"I don't follow." said.
"Now who's the dummy." Luan joked. "You can't even tell a perfect pun when you hear it."
"Oh, I get it, you-"
"Hey, don't spoil the punchline!" Luan shouted.
"Right, sorry." Mr. Coconuts said. "But, are you sure this was they way it should have gone?"
Luan laid back down and let out a sigh. "Yep, it was all worth it. My comedy career wasn't going anywhere anyway." A small tear escaped her eyes. "Though, I guess I do wish I could have told one last joke in front of an audience. That's something I'll regret."
"Why don't you?" Mr. Coconuts said.
"How do you suppose I do that?" Luan replied. "Our time is limited here."
"Live stream it." He said.
"Of course, I didn't even think of that!" Luan said, slapping her face.
Quickly, she turned on her computer and set up her webcam. She went over to her video channel and started a live stream.
"Howdy folks. Luan here with one final joke." She said with a bright and happy voice. She looked and noticed she had a few thousand viewers show up almost instantly. Just as she had hoped. "How did the bomb ace his multiple choice test?" She asked. "He answered C4 all the questions." Luan started to laugh. "Haha get it?"
As soon as she finished that sentence, a massive explosion engulfed the whole house. All the viewers say was a burst of white before the stream shut off.
No one is really sure what caused the Loud House explode, or what happened to the bodies of every member. All The only thing that the public has, is Luan's final joke, a Re-upload of it quickly becoming the most viral video of all time, getting constant video edits. Indeed, she may not have been funny in life, but she became a superstar comedian in death. A fitting end to a deranged life.
Well now, this was certainly an interesting experiment. The backstory for this is long, and fairy weird. Maybe even weirder than the actual story. So in my tenure on this site, I have technically written for every genre. Every genre except pure horror. So I wanted to try my hand at doing horror. But this goes even deeper than that. So a few months back I got a request do to a random story that involved Luan shooting Lincoln from a canon, I rejected that idea. The I had another conversation with someone who said I could be the perfect person to write yandere. I definitely am not. This story isn't really yandere, and that is because I do not this I can actually write yandere correctly.
Finally, Fool Me Twice came out, and that is some of the most horrific Luan we have ever seen. Welding doors shut and appearing on a video screen made me compare her to jigsaw from the saw movies, of course she was already pretty bug nutty. At the bare minimum, she has some sort of mental issues in the actual show, but I doubt they will ever go into it(super sociopath though). Anyway, that still doesn't explain why I decided to write this. Well, get ready.
So, I'm at work yesterday(or technically two days ago) and it's the last 10 minutes. Since I had literally nothing work related to do, I pulled out a lined sticky note and a mechanical pencil and I started to doodle at my desk. I'm a horrible artist, but that's beyond the point. I start every doodle with the eyes and work from there. As i drew the face, I noticed the curve made it kind of look like Luan, so I decided to just make it a Luan drawing. While I was doing this, I was literally singing The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down out loud. Why? Because I'm a weirdo who sings random stuff at almost all times. Even I don't know what I'm going to start singing until it comes out. After I finished the drawing, I noticed that I made the pupils unusually large(issue with starting with the eyes). To me, she looked crazy, like she had some drug dilated eyes. So I took a picture of the sticky note with my phone, used filters to make it black and white and to remove the lines on the paper, copied it into photoshop and put it on a fake lined page. I then decided to change the lyric to "You'll Never See Me Frown." And bam, I had the cover page. I decided to start writing a story based around a psychotic Luan singing the Merry-Go-Round Broke Down, because the looney nature of the song fits her character so well and this is what we ended up with. The worst story I have ever written.
I am sorry I wrote this, I won't be doing horror again anytime soon. I hope I didn't disturb anyone.