TOW An Old Friend R
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: When Rachel ran into Central Perk in her wedding dress, she was looking for Monica. She didn't expect her old tutor and one-night-stand Chandler Bing to be there as well!

Disclaimer: Friends, Central Perk and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something. ... Whenever I get around to uploading it there. :)

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site, The Fanfiction Forum, which you can find by clicking the home-page link on my ff dot net profile.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Streams of demented conciousness

I started writing my first Friends fanfic years ago, but I've never really been able to get it to go anywhere and as such, it's still somewhat of a work in progress, as are the other three I've also gotten started on over the years. This one, however, the most recently started of the four, practically wrote itself whenever I took time out from my other fics to work on it and as such, became the first one of my Friends fanfics to ever become unveiled to the public eye.

Thoughts on Friend pairings...

I've always been a strict adherent of the 'Why go with the flow'-philosophy when it comes to fanfiction. Ross'n Rachel has been done to death on the show, as has Monica'n Chandler. There's always been hints of Phoebe'n Joey, so that sorta bores me as well. Not to forget how much this is repeated over and over and over again in fanfiction!

Blergh! Nothing can make me move on quicker then spotting the dreaded line "MC RR JP" or some variety thereof in the summary of a story.

That's just boring, predictable and so cliche.

I hope that I'm never boring in my writings. I'm fairly certain that 'predictable' isn't a term often associated with my works. Cliche is something that I'm associated with, but I hope that it's more for finding creative ways of using what would otherwise be cliche approaches then for feeding boring old cliches...

MC RR JP... If you ever see something of the sort from me, then rest assured that I've come up with something so completely awsomely amazingly original about those particular pairings that I felt it worth to write in spite my deeply rooted sense of complete apathy towards those couplings.

No, I'm more leaning towards oddball couplings. Rachel'n Chandler, Phoebe'n Ross and so on. Or the REALLY weird ones, like Ross'n Monica, Joey'n Emily, Phoebe'n Richard and whatnot.

... What? You don't think Ross'n Monica belongs up there? ... Hehe, I am refered to as the Lord of Perverts for a reason, y'know...

Anyways, if you're a gung-ho MC, RR or JP fanatic, you'd better turn tail and run while you still can, because you won't find any of that here.

End stream of weird thoughtlessness

Chapter One:

"You're Monica's brother's friend, aren't you?" a hesitant voice inquired and Chandler looked up from his book, only for his eyes to widen in surprise as he recognized the object of Ross' immense obsession, one Rachel Green. "The one with the odd name?" she asked.

"Odd, right. That's me all right. I'm Chandler Bing and you're Rachel Green." he responded with an acknowledging nod of his head and a wry smile on his lips, taking a few seconds to study her and trying to fathom Ross' fascination with the girl in question.

She was kinda cute, he supposed. The nose was prominent, but she was rather cute and had a great body. He hadn't been around her for long enough to get a proper idea of her personality, but she'd struck him as rather flaky and air headed.

"Right." she said and looked around the crowded library once again. "Mind if I join you?" she asked after failing to find a seat more appealing. At least Chandler wasn't a complete stranger, unless the rest of the people around.

"Feel free." he responded with a shrug and then redirected his attention to the book he was reading, loosing himself in it for a while. Once he finally looked up again, he found her staring down at an opened book with her forehead comically furrowed in consternation, her pencil tapping furiously on a notepad filled with scribbled lines and dotted with intricate doodles. He gave a brief chuckle muted chuckle at her look and glanced down at his book again.

"Something funny?" Rachel snapped and Chandler blinked, realizing that she'd apparently overheard him.

"Having problems?" he asked and got a furious nod in response.

"Mathematics is the devils work!" Rachel responded heatedly, accompanied by various hushes from the people around them. "I have to retake this year's course, or I'll flunk! And I'm going to! Daddy is going to kill me!" she moaned and Chandler winced in sympathy. He had wondered what she was doing in a public library, as she hadn't exactly struck him as the studious type. He looked down at the novel he was reading and slowly closed it, putting it down and reaching out to grab her textbook.

He'd already passed all his classes and was only here to relax and wind down a bit. Ross was done too, but had decided to re-take his English, Home Economics and Literature in order to raise his grades from their already impressive levels to extremly impressive levels. Chandler couldn't be bothered and privately thought that Ross was a bit off in the head for doing something like that.

On the other hand, Ross was somewhat fixated on pleasing his parents and bringing home top grades would no doubt impress them, so he could somewhat understand his friend wanting to do something like that.

Heck, had his own parents been different, he might want to please them too.

"All right. What are you having problems with?" Chandler asked.

"Everything!" Rachel sighed and Chandler suppressed a sigh, seeing the calm and peaceful afternoon he'd been anticipating being completely blown out of the water.

"All right, let's see what we can do about that." he stated and snagged one of her pencils and flipped the page in her notebook to a fresh one.

"Ross, you're obsessed with a complete imbecile!" Chandler snapped as he walked in on Ross taking a mock exam in the apartment the two of them had rented over the summer.

"Huh?" his friend exclaimed, looking up from his exam with a confused expression on his face. "What?"

"Rachel Green. I think she suffers from a permanent brain-freeze or something!" he explained and shook his head.

"Rachel..." Ross sighed lustfully and Chandler threw his hands up into the air in a severely frustrated gesture.

"Ross, my man... She's a tool!" Chandler snapped, which served to bring Ross out of his world of dreams.

"What?" he asked with an expression of mounting anger.

"I just spent not one, not two, but three hours down at the library tutoring her in mathematics!" Chandler snapped. "Did you know that she still had trouble doing simple multiplication? My god, man!"

"You've met Rachel?" Ross asked, instantly zeroing in on that particular bit.

"I've endured Rachel." Chandler clarified. "I'm almost completely convinced that all there is between her ears is navel lint!"

"She isn't stupid! ... She's perfect..." Ross almost purred, the earlier anger he displayed now complete forgotten.

"You're living in a dream world, mate." Chandler sighed and shook his head as he opened a bottle of beer and slumped into a chair on the other side of the kitchen table Ross was seated at. "Well, I guess stupid isn't exactly the right term for it... Badly educated, perhaps. Once I explained things, she usually caught on. But dear god, it's a miracle that she hasn't flunked math before now!" he ranted, before shaking his head and changing the subject to get Ross off this most recent case of Rachel-spacing-out he'd fallen into.

Two days later, he'd put the incident entirely out of his head and was once again spending the afternoon reading in the library.

"Hey, Chandler. Thank you so much for last time." a female voice stated and Chandler jerked in his seat, whipping his head up from his book in surprise.

"Oh, god! Don't scare me like that!" he responded shrilly, before clearing his throat and continuing in an overly deep tone of voice instead of the nearly girlish squeal from seconds earlier. "I mean. ... Hello. No problem, Rachel."

"No you were great! ... Uh... Do you think you could help me out again?" she asked with a pleading expression and Chandler glanced longingly down at his book for a few moments, before letting out a muted sigh and putting it aside.

"Sure." he responded with false cheer and a strained smile.

/Damn those puppy dog eyes of hers! I knew I should have just stayed home and watched a movie!/ he mentally cursed as he resigned himself to another 'fun-filled' afternoon. It wasn't quite as bad as last time and she did treat him to dinner afterwards as thanks. Or well, her father did seeing as how he was the one who actually paid Rachel's credit card bill, but he appreciated it none the less. It wasn't exactly the most fun dinner he'd ever had, but there were occasional moments that weren't so bad. Their interests were wildly different, so most of the things Rachel was passionate about, he couldn't care less about and vice versa.

But the two of them quickly learned to stay away from those topics and as the evening ended, a very tentative friendship had been formed. The next couple of weeks, the two of them met up by chance in the library now and then. Rachel went there to prepare for her re-test without being bothered by friends or family and Chandler because he didn't want to be around Ross when he was in his 'study-mode' and he didn't really have anything else to do that cost as little as hanging out at the library.

Two weeks into the summer, Rachel took her test and while she didn't ace it, she preformed remarkably well. Chandler was treated to a celebratory dinner for his assistance and then the two of them parted ways and if it wasn't for fate intervening, they likely never would have met each other again.

"Oh, look! The pool table is free. Rack 'em up, I'll be back in a minute. Get ready for me to whip your sorry-looking butt!" Monica commented and Chandler smirked in response.

"Oh all right. But after that, we're shooting some pool." he joked with a smirk and a friendly twinkle in his eyes, drawing a happy chuckle out of Monica as she headed for the ladies room. This was the last week that the bar would be open and the two of them, along with the rest of their small circle of friends had been making the most out of it. Apparently, or so Monica had been told by the owner, it was going to turn into a coffee shop of all things!

As he prepared the table and prepared the cue he'd selected for himself, he couldn't help but to overhear a conversation from a nearby table, his forehead creasing as he tried to recall just why one of those female voices sounded somewhat familiar.

"Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I don't think this is." the familiar one complained.

"I am so sorry!" Denise the waitress responded apologetically. What with the place about to be shut down, the staff had seemed somewhat frazzled and it wasn't the first time in the last couple of weeks that mistakes had been made. Chandler understood that, but apparently these girls weren't aware of that or simply didn't care.

Then again, their voices weren't so familiar that they could be regulars, so it was possible that they simply weren't aware of what was happening to the place.

"That's all right." the familiar one responded and Denise moved off, presumably to get exchange the drinks. "I mean, how hard is it to get a couple of drinks right, huh?" she commented sarcastically to her friends once Denise had moved away from them.

Chandler looked over and silently observed the three women, at or around his own age, that were seated there. He was pretty sure that he'd never met two of them before in his entire life, but the third did look somewhat familiar.

"Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman who, in one year from today, will become Mrs Doctor Barry Farber, DDS." one of the unfamiliar girls proposed and raised her glass, causing the familiar one to hold out her hand with a sparkling ring capturing his attention for a few moments.

"I think it's time to see the ring again!" she exclaimed and all three of them squealed in joy and excitement like, well, three girls screaming in joy and excitement.

"Oh, isn't it exciting? I mean, it's like having a boyfriend for life!" the other unknown girl exclaimed and Chandler gave off a mental sigh. /What an airhead! ... Not that I wouldn't mind doing her anyway.../

"Yeah, I know..." the familiar one responded in a muted tone of voice, her happy expression from before now missing, as if it had never even been there in the first place.

"What?" the first unfamiliar girl asked and the familiar one sighed.

"Oh, I don't know. I guess it's just the idea of Barry for the rest... The rest of my life! I don't know... I feel like I need to have one last fling, you know? To get it out of my system." she said and Chandler's eyes widened for a few moments. He still couldn't shake the feeling that he knew her from somewhere, but screw that! She was more then gorgeous and this sounded like a perfect opportunity for some fun!

"Rachel, stop!" unknown woman number one exclaimed in a semi-shocked tone of voice.

"You're so bad!" mystery girl number two giggled.

"I'm serious! I really, I think I need to just have some... Meaningless sex... With the next guy I see." the one who was apparently called 'Rachel' commented. If he hadn't been so intent on taking advantage of the perfect opening she'd just given him, he would have realized who she was right then and there.

With a flick of his hand, the white ball was tossed towards the table, startling the three ladies seated at it. With a smile adorning his face, he strutted over and picked it up.

"I... Uh... Seem to have dropped my ball." he drawled, flashing the ball and his pearly whites as all three of them just stared in silence at him.

"Yeah? So?" Rachel asked and Chandler blinked, but recovered pretty quickly. He was used at being shot down, after all.

"And... Now I've picked it up again." he said and turned around, preparing to head back to the table where he could see Monica, who'd apparently returned from her visit to the toilets while he was distracted by the women.

"Wait... I know you, don't I? ... Yeah! It's... Oh... Yeah! Smart funny guy with the odd name from the library!" Rachel spoke up, snapping her fingers as she wracked her memory for the name she was looking for. "Bing! Chandler Bing!" she exclaimed triumphantly and pointed at him, as her mind made the final mental connection.

"Rachel? Rachel Green!" he exclaimed, staring in shock at her as he finally realized who she was. "Dear Lord, you're gorgeous!" he exclaimed, then blushed furiously as he realized what he'd just blurted out. "Uh... I mean... Uh..." he stuttered.

"Thanks." Rachel responded with a small smile and a faintly embarrassed expression. "Oh, these are my friends Joanne and Kiki. Girls, this is Chandler. He's the guy responsible for getting me through High School Mathematics and into college." she announced, introducing her two friends.

"Pleased to meet you." Joanne, mystery girl number one, stated.

"A pleasure." Kiki, unknown woman number two, interjected.

"Rachel? Hi!" Monica stated, having walked over and recognized her old best friend.

"Monica!" Rachel exclaimed and squealed as she got out of her seat and gave Monica an enthusiastic hug, then quickly stepped away and flashed her shiny new ring. "Look! What do you think?" she asked, excited to near bursting at being able to show it to a new person who hadn't seen it before.

"Wow!" Monica exclaimed. "You can't even see where the Titanic hit it!" she added and Rachel laughed happily.

"Yeah. His name is Barry and he's a doctor, thank you very much!" she proudly announced.

"Aw, just like you always wanted. Congratulations!" Monica responded, really happy for her old friend, although she was a bit envious at her none the less.

"Thank you." Rachel somewhat graciously responded. "So, how about you? Are you seeing anybody?" she asked excitedly, glancing over at Chandler for a split second.

"Aw, not right now." Monica admitted, feeling a faint pang at having to admit that.

"Oh... But that's okay!" Rachel responded after a moments pause.

"I know." Monica replied.

"Yeah..." Rachel added and then the two of them simply stared at each other for a couple of seconds. "Well, uh... I'd better get back to my friends." she said and gave Monica another hug. "Can we have lunch the next time I'm in the city?" she asked.

"Oh, that'd be great!" Monica agreed as the two of them pulled away.

"And Chandler, nice seeing you. And thanks again for your help back then." Rachel said with a smile directed at Chandler.

"No problem." he assured her.

"Bye!" Rachel said and took a step back, towards the table with her friends.

"Bye." Monica responded.

"Yeah, bye." Chandler added, before he and Monica headed back towards the pool table.

"Ten bucks says that I never see that woman again in my life." Monica stage-whispered.

"You're on." Chandler agreed with a faint smile as the two of them set up and began a game of pool. Just before leaving some time later, Rachel came by again with her now two quite tipsy friends.

"I have to drive my friends back home, Monica. But I'll give you a call real soon so we can have that lunch! It was great seeing you again!" she said and gave Monica another hug. She appeared to hesitate over Chandler for a moment, before she moved to hug him as well. "Chandler. See you around." she announced as she wrapped her arms around him, then surprised the heck out of him as she whispered nine little words to him.

"I will be back later. Wait for me here."

Monica had left to go upstairs a little after that and Chandler knew that he'd spoken to her, but he couldn't quite recall what she'd said and he had no idea whatsoever what he'd responded with. He managed to swindle a free beer from the owner, though he had to pay for the rest.

/Wait for me here?/ he thought for the umpteenth time as he got started on his second beer, wondering if he was actually crazy for doing so. /She's the old crush of my best male friend!/ he thought with a bit of frantic concern over how Ross would take it. /Then again, he's got Carol. ... And he'll never have to know about it. ... Yes, Ross definitively doesn't need to know about this! Just like he doesn't need to know about that time I flirted with and kissed her at that party! That's the best thing for everybody involved./ he reasoned. /... My health in particular.../ he added.

/I'm waiting for a gorgeous chick who wants to have a fling!/ he suddenly realized and paled significantly, taking a long drink from his beer. /Granted, I must have quite the supply of good Karma built up from all the crap over the years, but still... When is the other shoe going to drop and things go back to the usual crap-fest that is the 'glorious' life of Chandler Bing?/ he wondered with a worried expression.

/Perhaps I should leave before things go straight to hell?/ he wondered, but just couldn't bring himself to do so.

By the time Rachel finally returned, his levels of worry had reached near-epic proportions and he was half-way through with his fourth paid-for beer.

"Hey." she greeted him as she slid into the seat next to him at the bar, almost causing him to jump out of his clothes in surprise.

"H-hey yourself." he stuttered.

"Thinking back and judging from the 'dropped my ball'-bit, I'm guessing you overheard me earlier and was interested in taking me up on it, huh?" Rachel asked and Chandler reluctantly nodded after nearly half a minute of awkward silence.

"Yeah." he admitted with a sigh.

"Are you still?" she asked after nearly ten seconds of even more awkward silence.

"What?" Chandler exclaimed.

"Are you still? Interested, I mean." she asked and Chandler mentally debated with himself for at least, oh, four or five tenths of a second.

"Are you serious? Look at yourself! Of course I'm interested." he responded, a bit more bravely then what would usually be the case. A couple of beers had done a world of wonders for his usual awkwardness around pretty women and while he was somewhat concerned over Ross, it was no longer a pressing one.

"Got a place around here?" she asked after a moment's consideration.

"Oh my god... You are serious!" Chandler exclaimed, looking over at her with his eyes opened wide in astonished surprise.

"One last fling. Nothing more." Rachel hastily interjected and Chandler slowly nodded.

"I can live with that." he replied and Rachel nodded.

"So, about that place of yours?" she hinted.

"Well, I actually have an apartment upstairs." he admitted.

"So... Shall we?" she asked and leaned over, giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"We shall indeed." he agreed and leaned over to kiss her back, before the two of them broke off and made their way out and up to Chandlers apartment for a sordid night of meaningless sex.

"Don't say anything." Rachel said as the door to his apartment shut behind them, Chandler reaching back to lock it. "I don't want to speak and I don't want to think. I just want you to take me, kiss me and make love to me. Right here, right now." she announced and he wasn't late to take her up on that, taking her right there on the floor.

In fact, he wasn't late to take her up against the door, on the kitchen bench, in the bed, against the living room window, in the shower and on top of the ugly living room carpet either.

When Chandler finally woke up late in the morning, Rachel was missing and all that remained were a pair of light blue lacy panties resting in the middle of the kitchen table. Upon them she'd written 'Thanks, Chandler. Rachel.', with a magic marker.

He simply stared at them in mild wonder for nearly fifteen minutes, before he hid them in his bedroom dresser and went on with his life, never expecting that their paths would cross again in a little less then a year...

"But I don't want to be single! I just... I just what to be married again..." Ross announced, his friends and sister had expressions of sympathy ready for him when a woman in a wedding dress suddenly burst in through the entrance and looked around the room, before darting towards the counter.

Monica blinked and then got up, heading after her.

"And I just want a million dollars!" Chandler joked, not having recognized the runaway bride. He'd been too astonished by the dress to really take note of her face.

At least he hadn't recognized her until Monica suddenly spoke up.

"Rachel?!" she exclaimed and Chandler coughed in surprise, then turned to stare in shock at the woman in question.

"Oh, God! Monica, hi! I just went to your apartment and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are! You are!" Rachel ranted frantically.

"Can I get you some coffee?" Linda the waitress asked.

"Decaf." Monica told her firmly while pointing at Rachel. "Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor." she introduced her old friend. "This is everybody. This is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and... You remember my brother Ross?" she asked.

"Hi. Sure." Rachel agreed with fake cheer.

"Hi." Ross greeted her and moved in for a hug, but his umbrella snapped open and ruined the moment. With a defeated sigh, he slumped back into his seat while Monica assisted Rachel into a sitting position as well, leaving the gang in an awkward silence.

"So. You wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?" Monica inquired in a joking tone of voice.

"Oh, God... Well, it started about half an hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat! When all of a sudden I realised that I was more turned on by this gravy boat then by Barry!" Rachel explained and gratefully accepted a cup of coffee from the waitress. "And then I got really freaked out and that's when it hit me. ... How much Barry looks like Mr Potato Head! Y'know, I mean, he always looked familiar but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this and who am I doing it for?'. So anyway, I just didn't know where to go and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city..." she ranted on.

"Who wasn't invited to the wedding." Monica archly reminded her.

"Ooooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue..." Rachel announced with a sheepish expression as Chandler sat completely still in his seat, hoping that he could just fade into the background and disappear from view. Granted, the two of them had parted on friendly terms after their one night stand.

Or well, she had departed when he was sleeping and left her panties behind. But that seemed kinda friendly to him, it certainly beat some of his other break ups over the years!

But it was still awkward as hell to sit there while one of his old exes sat just across from him in a wedding dress, pouring her heart out.

/God, please. Just let the ground swallow me up?/ he mentally requested as Rachel kept on talking.

She looks good in that dress, though... Really good.../ his subconscious added, while the sound of thunder could be heard in the distance and a mirror on the wall behind the gang cracked for no obvious reason.

The shit was quite obviously about to hit the fan sometime in the near future.

The End! ( For now... )