***This is rated M for sexual content, language, self harm and all of the bad shit people love to read and I love to write have fun (and um I don't own gmw or whatever)***
Maya's POV
First cut of the night;
To remember how it felt.
The second cut;
To honor my mother going on another date with an abusive dick head.
I pulled the razor across my thigh, waited a moment then the blood began to emerge. I breathed in deeply, waited a few seconds, then exhaled. I loved the pain. I didn't like being alone as much as I pretended to be but luckily I still had had my blade. Obviously my night wasn't going the greatest.
A third cut;
My best friend Riley and my three year long crush since eighth grade Lucas were out on another date. I didn't not want them to date, that would be selfish seeing how happy they made each other. But I did wish I didn't have to watch it and pretend I was happy about their happiness.
A fourth cut;
A fifth cut;
A sixth cut;
For the fun of it and on and on and on leaving my thighs almost twice as cut and scared as they were before.
I was about to cut one more time when I was stopped in my tracks. A moaning filled my ears. Moaning from my mother's room. Then the springs of her cheap bed bouncing up and down up and down. Squeak, squeak, squeak. I shuttered at the sound. I shoved my face into my pillow trying to use it as the perfect hiding place. Multiple times I thought about sneaking off to Rileys but then she remembered she had just been on a date with Lucas and since they still weren't having sex she had to fulfill her urges without him. And that was something I didn't want to walk in on a third time.
By about three AM when I still couldn't sleep I ended up taking about three different types of drugs to make me pass out within the hour. Throughout the short night I ended dreamed of death and Lucas; two of her favorite topics.
The next morning when I woke up I felt like crawling into a hole and dying like usual. But I knew I didn't have the strength to kill myself and that I needed to get to school. I threw on one of the tightest shirts I owned always loving the ways the boys and girls looked at me when wore them along with ripped jeans that barely didn't break dress code. I quickly made her way to Rileys and threw on a smile making myself seem generally normal happy wise.
"Hey Riles." I said climbing through the Mathews window.
"Maya!" She cheered.
"What's up?" I asked jumping onto Riley's windowsill. Riley smiled as close as she could get to a wicked smile. "What?" I slowly asked.
"I'm gonna do it!" She said in possibly the most childish way she could have.
"What?" I reasked.
"It you know? It." She stated.
"Sex?" I asked laughing at Riley's childish way.
"Sh sh shhhh!" She waved her hands frantiqly telling me to shut up.
"What?" I laughed.
"I don't want my parents finding out." I rolled my eyes.
"You know you haven't actually done anything yet?" I laughed having lost my virginity years ago. Riley knew this, she didn't know who to and I liked keeping it this way.
"Yeah but I will." She snickered.
"So did you guys just plan this out or..."
"No I haven't told him yet it's going to be a surprise our three year anniversary is next week and I thought I'd surprise him because of course he wants to." Riley and I both smiled knowing it was true.
"Girls are you coming to breakfast?" Topanga yelled from the kitchen.
"Come on my little virgin lets go get some food." I grabbed Riley and we both walked into the kitchen to get our food the start of this day looked great, if only it stayed this way.
"Shit!" Topanga yelled dropping her spatula and the pan of burnt eggs to the ground holding her searing hand. "Shit shit shit SHIT!" She ran her hand under the cold water hoping it would help but instead just kept feeling pain. "You know what? You guys are going to be late to school so you get yogurt!" She through them all spoons and cups of yogurt and pushed them out the door. Riley and I jumped onto the subway as we did every morning. And then Riles and my favorite part, Lucas. Lucas Lucas Lucas Lucas. That's all I could think When we came to Lucas' stop-as it always did- my heart skipped a beat. His messy morning hair which he always did on the subway because he was always late and only had time to do it there. I loved him when he looked like this.
"Hey huckleberry." I said in my best southern accent trying to hide the fact that I wanted to fuck the Texan.
"Hey to you too short stacks." After a couple years of him saying that I finally accepted the name and actually liked when he called me that, but only him. Whenever anyone else tried to call me that I would threaten to break their neck, and they almost always believed me. We both stared at each other smiling our teenage smiles.
"Hey honey!" Riley said walked over to her boyfriend. She wore heels that she didn't need considering she was already one of the tallest people in their school. She towered over me but I tried to ignore it. Riley kissed her hot boyfriend then hugged him and said good morning. This might just be me being a narcissist but I could swear the cowboy was looking at me. As he hugged his motel of a girlfriend he looked at me. I bit my lip not knowing exactly what I was doing but knowing Lucas smiled back as I did. After Riley let go he stopped looking at me and looked back at her, his girlfriend. I've been called a lot of things but Lucas Friars girlfriend will never be one of them, maybe I can aim for fuckbuddy.
The subway came to a stop and we made our way to school. Honestly I wanted to stay and listen to Riley's dad talk about Belgium but after having him as a teacher for so many years I ended up not caring even more so than usual.
"Excuse me! Mr. Mathews!" I yelled of boredom midway through his sentence.
"Yes Ms, Hart?" He asked.
"May I be excused?" I said batting my eyes.
"Any reason why?" He said batting his eyes mockingly.
"I'm feeling sick." I pretended to couch.
"Will you be disturbing my class anymore if I let you go?" He sighed.
"No, thanks." I said leaving my seat fake coughing the whole way out. I knew I didn't like school but who knew such good things could come from skipping it?