Past Artifice
-ferriswheelshipping-
a one-shot written by Sock and Broh, to kick off their fanfiction writing career
When N was a young boy, no older than four ("four and a half," he'd insist to anyone who listened), he had fancied himself as a hero of some sort. With a cape fit for a king (he remembered how soft the red terrycloth towels felt around his neck), and a regal crown to match (folding that construction paper had taken time, and if he'd been older, he would have known it wouldn't have been worth the effort), four and half-year old N would zip about his kaleidoscope of a room. Zorua always yipped as he chased his master's cape-tail around, enjoying the exercise.
He had, before that, pretended to be like his Zorua, but his father had scowled, and more than anything, N had wanted his approval.
Now, staring down at the world – so small in the mind's eye, but so much vaster, so deep, N had never known the world to be so very deep and wide – N couldn't help but laugh at the naiveté of such a thought. The old N had wanted to be a hero for his father. The new N ("the real you," he insisted to himself by the river, staring back at ironically gray eyes that once felt as though some indefinite proportion had gone missing from them) wanted to be a hero for himself and for Pokémon everywhere.
He looked hero up in a thesaurus one day, on a whim, and had tossed the book aside angrily when he saw the word conqueror amongst such exemplary substitutes.
A hero was a man with morals, who cared for those who couldn't, and fell in love with the pretty girl he'd saved two seasons ago.
A conqueror was a brute that used his own son for his benefit, filling his brain with falsities and twisted thoughts of justice, caused everything to be in black and white, made him leave his birthplace to find himself—
So he'd picked the thesaurus back up, crossed the offending word out, and wrote (in his bold, childish handwriting) Touko above.
And then he'd put the thesaurus back on the library's bookshelf, smiled to himself, and walked away.
Mount Silver was a harsh place, but the climb was worth it, N reasoned. The view of both Kanto and Johto struck him somewhere deep. He felt like he had for that last moment inside his castle, as he stared at the world below from the gaping hole Zekrom had punched through the rough stone. But this…this was so much more than that. It felt like so much more. He saw more than before he took a running leap onto Zekrom's back. The world had fallen away into variants of blue. But here, surrounded by white, cold snow, he saw the fields of green grass and the deep brown of the earth's soil; red roofs of houses and Centers, yellows of flowers and dim fluorescent lights from far away. Observing the world at a distance, when he'd spent three long years up close, was a nice change in routine for him.
Change was a funny thing, he realized. While he'd learned through other people and sought a way to make his dreams a reality, he'd found that the only thing constant about the world was the fact that it was in a constant state of change. Whether the change was gradual or thrust upon humanity unceremoniously, something was always, always, always taking a different form. Evolving, much like Pokémon did when it was time. N had suddenly made this connection while walking the streets of Goldenrod City. Amongst crowds of people so different from him, he had stopped dead in his tracks. His face was red with shame. Had he truly been that person? Like a child, N had clamped his hands over his ears and refused to listen, squeezed his eyes shut and put his foot down, No! Many different values mix together, and the world becomes gray… That is unforgivable! …black and white will be clearly distinct…
He shuddered at his stupidity. Beat his self-esteem down by these things that really slipped through his lips, glided off his tongue. How had he not realized his own hypocrisy? His foolishness and ignorance to the workings of the world?
Ghetsis, he reasoned. The conqueror, manipulator and bastard.
Like a mantra, N constantly reminded himself that he was in control now, making his own life choices, rather than the other way around. There was a time when he never said this steady prayer to his soul, and in retaliation for what he tried to ignore, spent days in a dark, dank cave, alone and hurt and crying, because damn it, the first eighteen years of his life were a lie, and he's in some cave bawling like a baby, practically pulling his hair out with the way his arms lash out on their own, physically expressing his pain.
Repetition brought calm over the man.
And that was why he climbed Mount Silver once a month to look down on the regions he'd traveled and made a name for him in. N was renowned for his ability to converse with Pokémon. Here, he was no fallen king of a radical syndicate hell-bent on taking peoples' companions away. He was a gentle nomad that people sought out for advice. He started the first workings of a rescue and investigation group for the maltreatment of Pokémon. He was a trainer, and a particularly skilled one at that.
The first time he'd decided to climb Mount Silver, N had made the decision on a whim. Many locals from both Johto and Kanto had recommended it for experienced trainers, and seeing as he had a relative amount of fame, it had been easy to gain clearance to the mountain trail, despite a lack of badges. At the only Pokémon Center in the area, the Nurse told him of Red, a truly legendary trainer – he used to stay up there and never come down, just watching over the regions, waiting for something he could not name but clearly identify – apparently, Red had just descended the mountain last year, and his current whereabouts were unknown to her.
If this mountain was harsh, N wanted to see just how harsh it could be. And he had.
Freezing rain, close calls with frostbite, inability to start a fire on some nights – Mount Silver took no pity and gave no breaks, no matter her ascender.
This hallowed ground stood directly between the Johto and Kanto regions.
At that very moment, N felt as though he stood at the crossroads, somewhere betwixt two decisions plaguing his mind every month he made his way up the mountain. The white snow gave way under his feet as he paced back and forth, trying to make an appropriate decision on the matter.
Should I stay here or should I move on?
The snow continued crunching until the sun set, and the brilliant moon bathed the summit in an eerie glow. Her swollen body held both man and Lopunny within – both sides of life together on one surface – and lit the skirts of sparse clouds above.
In the dark, the world below Mount Silver was hidden from view. Black, the absence of light, met N's gaze – but still he saw the stars, white pinpoints of light so very far away, shining through – and he wondered the distance he would have to travel to reach a galaxy unknown.
He sighed. The expulsion of carbon dioxide from his body released a white mist into the crisp mountain air. Up here, N felt a little light-headed.
Anywhere else, he might as well have felt the same way.
The flash of light was the only indication of the deep black Pokémon's appearance in the night. How ironic, that he, a being without light, was surrounded in a halo of his opposing force for that split second.
He roared fiercely into the night, thick clawed feet dug deep in the darkened snow. N climbed onto his back, and found it very hard to swallow. Without sound, Zekrom took off; that masculine deity like a kindred spirit, knowing his companion's mind and heart so well.
At the speed the two traveled, the little points of light stretched out into infinity among the black, making perfectly distinct separations. It was enough to make N's eyes water.
It was just like before.
It was all he could see.
When one returns to his home, he typically expects some sort of welcome – whether it be warm or hostile is unnecessary to take into account.
When one has no home, he isn't entirely sure where to go.
N's homecoming was much too awkward for his liking.
Not long ago, Zekrom had landed outside of Nacrene City. The air was clean and fresh, and tasted familiar to him.
But as he entered the heart of the reinvented city and saw people entering and leaving their homes, he was struck with the reminder that, even though this region was his birthplace, that this was where he grew up, he no longer had a place here. And he felt unwelcome all over again. Unfamiliar amongst faces he was sure he'd seen before.
What should he do? Where did he have to go, even?
Wandering, he reasoned, was his only option as of late.
He had wandered through Sinnoh, meandered throughout Hoenn, roamed about both Johto and Kanto, and here he was. Again. In front of the Museum. N could still see her face, still relished the earnest blue eyes he never got enough of, even three years ago, when they were enemies laying everything on the line to stop the other's advance in the opposite direction.
He had never quite understood why he craved her attention—lusted after her presence—until two months ago, when he'd first felt that pang of hurt deep in his chest. Zekrom told him it was homesickness, and in some ways, it was. Not necessarily that he wanted to return home, as he was almost certain the castle was torn down, or at the very least in disrepair, but that he desperately needed some reassurance that some things never change. He wanted to see Unova for all it was, with his mind as clear as it was now. To not loathe everything he grew to love over three gypsy years.
To meet just one familiar face.
And N wanted to start there, so badly, that his chest felt nothing but pain and his stomach constricted horribly when he thought of how pretty Touko had looked. He wondered if she'd stayed the same. Surely, she must have grown up, and become so much more beautiful! It was painful to remember that when he'd wished her farewell, she'd wished him good luck. Nothing more. Just a sad smile and some words of good faith as a consolation prize for his effort.
Unova was such a massive place. How would he ever find her?
Even then, what was there to say? "Hi, Touko! Long time, no see, huh? I was just wondering if you wanted to, you know, go out on a date or something! Like nothing ever happened, right?"
N berated himself for over-thinking things. He told himself, now, to just try to find her, and then, if by some miracle he managed to do so, let it all ease into a comfortable conversation that wouldn't make him look like a complete and total jackass.
He also told himself how unlikely it was for that to happen.
With his hands stuffed into his pockets, N trudged about Nacrene City, at a loss for most things. If he kept walking, would he find whatever it was that he was looking for?
A definition of himself, perhaps. To be fleshed out and understood, without having to defend his honor. He wanted to be found in that Thesaurus with a positive connotation.
Acceptance. It was a funny thing to ask for from the race he belonged to, because it seemed like such a given, for another human to be loved by his people. That wasn't necessarily the case. He hadn't ever wanted humans to accept him before, not really. But now it was a burning desire in his body. It consumed every part of him – that wanting for someone, anyone to love him like his father should have.
Would Touko accept him?
Between bitter memories and sweet hopes for the future, N hadn't paid enough attention where it was necessary. He gave a slight shout as his chest collided with something solid.
"Oof!"
N's mind reeled for a moment before he gained enough focus to bring clarity back to the man in front of him. "Oh, I'm so sorry, sir! I wasn't thinking, I guess I didn't see you there!" A little longer to connect the image back to the ones stored away in his memory bank. "…Cheren?"
Dark hair, skin with a natural, cold sort of tan, navy blue eyes that looked either bored, amused or angry whenever needed, and a light blue blazer. This man was indeed Cheren. He looked different, though – older, with his shoulders broadened and his height pulled up nearly to N's own – certainly wore similar clothing, however. The blazer looked faded, sewn back up in some places, loved throughout the years. He no longer popped the collar. His glasses still had the red rims, but they followed around the whole of the rectangular lenses. The dark hair that had once framed his face was cut short and run through with product that had it pushed upward at a slight angle, left short and textured at the crown of his head and smooth for the bangs and the hair that followed down to his neck. He looked freshly shaven, clean, suave. N wanted to shiver as Cheren's eyes fell on him, eyeing him from head to toe like a scientist would his colleague's test subject.
"N." His tone was carefully measured. "What brings you back to Unova?"
"Well…." N knew that he sounded hesitant. Cheren looked ready to use this against the taller male. "Just…it felt like it was time. I've been away for so long. I wanted to see what had become of Touko's dream."
"Her dream kept Unova the same – exactly as it should be, and exactly as it will be." Cheren's arms were crossed now as he glared up at N. He took comfort in the fact that he was still taller than the bespectacled man.
"Yes, and I realize that now. Black, white, gray…those colors don't matter anymore."
Cheren adjusted his glasses, expression falling from hostile to bored. "Technically, black, white and gray aren't even colors."
N stared at him.
Cheren stared back.
"Um."
The black-haired man rolled his eyes. "Really? You don't have a response to that?"
"Should I?"
Cheren ran a hand through his hair. "You always had something to say before."
N smiled at him. "When you've seen the world and all of the faults she exploits, she teaches you to be a better person. And a student should always be as silent as possible to ensure the lesson has been learned."
His conversational partner raised a dark brow. "Never thought I'd hear you say anything like that." Cheren paused. "Well…not about becoming a better person, at least. I could expect you to say anything like you did."
"Um. Thank you?" He must have looked horribly, horribly confused, because Cheren rolled his eyes and called N a 'hopeless case' under his breath.
Cheren looked at his Cross-Transceiver and sighed. "Great."
N frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Bianca's late again, that's all. Hopefully she'll get here soon, or we'll be late for our dinner reservation." He tapped his foot and adopted an irritated scowl as his current expression.
N craned his neck to look at the clock hanging from a lamppost not too far away. "It's around lunch time though, isn't it?"
Cheren's cheeks colored, only slightly, before he turned his head away and scowled harder to cover his embarrassment. "W-Well! We have…plans before that."
N's mouth curved upward into a playful grin. "Oh. It's that kind of day for you! I'll just be on my way, then. Enjoy your date!" He turned away to occupy himself elsewhere, perhaps to find some sort of lead as to where Touko was. N took no more than five steps before he heard his name again.
"N!"
He turned. "Yes, Cheren?"
"You don't happen to be looking for Touko?" His blush was gone, expression blank. N was starting to notice that Cheren did, in fact, have a warmer temperature to his presence now. Something must have humbled him.
N smiled again. "I was going to ask, but I didn't want to be a bother."
Cheren glowered at him. "Are you mocking me?"
"Not at all! Where would you get that idea from?" He sounded genuinely confused, eyebrows drawn downward with an added frown. For some reason, his frown looked a bit more like a pout. Left over from his childish demeanor, perhaps – some things the world just couldn't change.
"Never mind," Cheren waved him off. "If you want to find Touko, she's usually at the Abundant Shrine on Saturdays until sunset. Some weird thing she started doing after her battle with you."
N nodded his head, and wondered whether he should feel guilty. Was it a habit she started because of him? "Thank you, Cheren."
"Don't mention it." Cheren waved him off again.
N clasped his hands together and gave a slight bow, averting his eyes from the navy blue ones ahead of him. "No, really…thank you. This means so much, that I can see her again."
Cheren checked his Cross-Transceiver and gave N a small smirk. "Better get going, though. Touko's not really one to stay in one place for long."
N lifted his head and smiled. He turned, but stopped once again as he heard Cheren speak.
"I hope I'm right about you."
"Pardon?" He pivoted around to look at the younger man.
"You may not know it, but we've heard about what you've been doing the past three years, here in Unova. I really hope you've changed. I'm trusting that you have – break that trust, and you'll regret it. I'll never forgive you. No more second chances." Cheren's voice held such gravity at that moment. N believed him. He had no choice but to.
"I'm giving you my word – you won't regret this, Cheren." N was sincere in every word he said. Cheren had laid his pride aside when he gave Touko's habit away. He did not seem the sort to trust a former enemy. If Cheren was doing this for him, then N knew that it took a good deal of effort to lay aside his natural instincts to shut N out of his friend's life.
Behind him, he heard the fading talk of two friends.
"Am I late again? Sorry, Cheren!"
"Bianca…you are absolutely, completely hopeless. …But I love you for it anyway."
The rest was lost to the rushing wind and the whine of surging electricity as Zekrom took flight, toward the northeastern half of Unova. Even waterfalls couldn't overpower Zekrom's thundering voice.
Much the same process was taken when N landed at the entrance to Abundant Shrine. Hop down from Zekrom's back, thank him, return the deity to his Pokéball. Pocket the Pokéball, continue on.
He stepped through the vague entrance; looked around at the verdant flora, the exotic Pokémon whose origins lay far from the Unova region, the kids running around the fertile fields, the weathered house next to a mirror-like pond; and he felt at home for the first time since his return to Unova. Abundant Shrine was beautiful, in a folksy sort of way – charming, and subtly so.
Winding, vague paths would make his search more difficult. Children would stop him and ask for battles, but N refused each time – promised them that he would return later and give them what they asked for. Never had he lied before. At least not intentionally.
Passing by the single house in the area, N stopped in to ask the elderly man within where he should be heading, if he were looking for someone.
"There is a shrine," the man began, looking at N with no amount of fear, respect or disgust, "to the north of here, for the Great Landorus. Perhaps the person you are looking for is there to pay her respects. A young lady, just about your age, stops by every day to do just that."
N's eyes widened. If it was any indication that the white-haired man noticed, he smiled slightly.
"Do you know her? She is very kind. Every week she leaves me a basket of baked goods, and shares what she has to eat with my grandchildren. Her heart is pure."
"Yes," N responded slowly, "yes, I do know her. Thank you, sir. For the information." He bowed his head and ducked from the house without another word, his stomach in knots. All of his concentration went into walking forward; carrying him slowly toward the reason he came back to Unova in the first place.
A tiny little shrine stood in the distance. From its appearance, the shrine had weathered many stormy years in the grove it stood in.
The closer he got, the more he could make out of that shrine – a brown roof, white sidings. Silvery snakes curling up into the sky around it and joining with the refreshing air. A lone figure kneeling in the grass before the shrine, head bowed.
N's stomach flopped pitifully as he spied her. He stopped walking altogether, and had to remind his feet that the needed to keep moving forward, even as his heart beat at a possibly dangerous rate. A mild panic rolled through him when he thought about the way his body was acting up. Forcing anything bad popping up in his head back, N tried his best to boldly approach her. In the end, his cant just ended up looking exaggerated, with the way he puffed his chest out to compensate for the way his hands were shaking.
Curls – he could make out curls and waves more distinctly. He climbed a set of stairs. More panic washed over his forced calm, and he stopped puffing out his chest and simply slouched his shoulders in a casual way. He felt a bit subconscious of his sweaty palms, so he stuffed them into his pockets and pretended like the problem didn't exist. But his feet kept moving, so he guessed that was a fair trade.
It was more than likely that Touko had heard him approaching, because now that he was no more than a yard away from her, she stood, and made to turn. N's heart began beating loudly somewhere in his head, and all he could think was oh, how did that get up there?
Three years can change many things. Yet time left Touko largely alone, and allowed her to change what she wanted to. Her hair was the same rich mocha with side-swept bangs, though it was laden with more curls at the tips to give the natural wave in her hair something to play with, and cut shorter, just above the shoulder blades; she left it down now, he assumed, as he'd never seen Touko wear her hair down before. The blanched, almost sickly tone her skin had been was mostly gone, replaced with a warmer glow.
N noticed that she was wearing flats on her feet, so the definite height she had gained on him was genuine. A breezy floral dress covered her body down to her knees, chiefly deep carmine with splashes of orange and salmon. It buttoned from the princess cut top down to the dress' hem, the copper winking in the dim sunlight. Her shoulders were covered by a light denim vest, a fairly dark indigo along the stitching, but worn and discolored on the edges. As always, Touko carried an ease about her in anything she wore.
He felt his face warm up. Touko looked much more carefree now, without the weight of a dire situation drowning her freedom. Her eyes were alight and dancing, even in the failing light of day. Smoke curled around her from the incense she had just recently burned.
"N?" Touko grinned.
He desperately hoped that his face wasn't red. "H-Hello, Touko. It's…good to see you again."
Her grin only widened. "Honestly, N! You don't have to be so nervous around me. I'm not going to crucify you or anything."
"That's good to hear," he laughed, and felt a bit of tension ease away.
"So," she began her tone bright and warm, "did you find yourself out there? Three years is a long time to go missing for." A small smile tugged her lips upward. "I know you found your dream at the least, though. I saw that interview."
N's face flushed again just as the unbearable heat had begun to seep away. "Well, yes – I did find a new dream. And I found myself, too. I was hiding away. It took a while, I know, but…I guess I was hidden better than I had thought."
Still, she smiled. "My dad told me that it doesn't matter how you get somewhere – just that you got there. I never found a way to apply that to a real-life situation until today."
He wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Your father sounds like a very wise man."
"Mm," she made a sound of assent before her eyes became both wide and bright at the very same time.
N was suddenly very aware of how close Touko was.
"Oh wow, it's so short!" Touko ran her hands through the choppy hair on the back of N's head, marveling – he hoped she was marveling – at the new texture. He chuckled at the memory of when she'd asked to braid his hair while they spoke on the Ferris wheel. Of course, the situation had quickly turned sour, but he cut the bad images out of that album in his mind and kept the good. "When'd you have it cut?"
"A nice girl named Daisy cut it for me while I was in Kanto. She said I looked like the crazy hermit everyone thought me to be," he laughed again at that memory, of course.
Touko smirked. "You still look kind of crazy, what with how wild the bangs are, but it's tamer." She relinquished her gentle hold on N's head.
"I don't think my hair can be tamed," N replied, grinning back at her. He missed the feel of her fingers working through his hair already.
She took a slight step back and started slightly when she bumped into the Pokémon standing behind her. "Bambi! Oh, no, I'm sorry! I didn't see you there!"
N hadn't noticed the Sawsbuck, either. With the way she blended in against the summer foliage of the trees, it was hardly a surprise to him. Touko seemed upset, though.
The Sawsbuck – Bambi – snorted and nudged her snout against Touko's forehead. "It hardly matters. Who is this that you're speaking to?"
N pulled a hand from his pocket and gave a small wave. He stuffed it back inside immediately. "Hello there, err…Bambi. I'm N. Do you remember me?"
Bambi looked at him as if she were bored, but gave a slight nod. "Yes. You were the one with that Carracosta. Not an awful challenge for me, though. Then again, with me on Touko's team, it was a guaranteed win."
"Of course," N replied uneasily, frowning. "But I won't tell Carracosta that. I think he might be a bit sore over the loss."
She seemed to rumble in amusement. "Surely not for this long?"
"I won't take any chances with that," he informed the Sawsbuck. From what he remembered, she was a proud and stubborn Sawsbuck, and he would rather like to stay on her good side. Plus, his Carrracosta was still a little sore – whenever they saw or heard mention of any Sawsbuck, his chipper moods would turn sour in an instant. N had hoped that it would die away soon, but more time was evidently needed.
"It was all necessary, though. I think he should know that."
Touko stroked at Bambi's sleek fur coat. The hairs on the back of her neck stuck up at all angles, and N was strangely reminded of himself for a moment. "What are you two talking about, huh? I always wondered what it would be like to speak to my Pokémon. I mean, I know them well, but it would always be nice to get to know them better."
N hummed. "I always wondered what it would be like to not be able to speak to Pokémon. What do you go off of?"
"Oh, you know," Touko shrugged, scratching under Bambi's snout and behind her ear. The Sawsbuck seemed to enjoy the attention – especially under her snout. "You have to pay attention to the little things, like their body language. I can tell just from the way that Bambi holds herself, that she's extremely prideful, and a bit boastful – but I think you already knew that." She laughed when Bambi tossed her head side to side with an indignant snort.
"I am not boastful! I'm just picky about my opponents, and I hold them to high standards!"
"She doesn't mean to be rude though. I like to think her heart is in the right place." Touko gave N a secret sort of smile that seemed to be hinting at the comment being directed at both Bambi and himself.
"You seem to be good at defining things," N observed.
Touko smiled. "Cheren told me something like that."
"Would you…do something for me?" N's nerves didn't stop him from asking. He had to know what she thought of him.
He wanted, more than anything, for people to accept him. If he could just be treated in the exact same way as the old man did – none the wiser of what he'd done, like everyone else – then he would be content for many years to come. But he needed to know if Touko would accept him. What Touko thought mattered more than anything. He didn't know why, but it did.
"Well, that depends!" Touko crossed her arms with a wide grin. "What is this mysterious 'something' you're asking of me?"
"If you could define me in one word, please." It all came out quicker than his usual clipped way of speaking.
Touko blinked. Then her grin widened, and she shook her head. "Is that all?"
"That's all." N nodded. He pulled his hands out of his pockets and let his arms hang limp at his sides. When Touko pulled out a Pokéball and returned her Sawsbuck with soft thanks, N waved politely. "Nice talking, Bambi."
"Well, then! If I could define you," Touko laughed as she took one of N's hands between both her own, rubbing warmth into the palm with her thumb while the rest seeped slowly through his skin. "With one word! My, such a tough question! If I could define you, I would give you the word…mosaic. Because you're not just one thought, but a million others, from a singular foundation. You were built from a bunch of different tiles after the first few were realized to be the exact same color. So you're transcendent, I guess – one tile becomes a whole new picture, like you became a whole new person, but your foundation is still there, good or bad. You're like everyone else, with the way you've been built…but the picture is different."
Touko's cheeks colored – just slightly – at the abrupt silence she was met with. "W-Well, I…kind of rambled there, didn't I?" Her chuckle was meant to soften the impact of her embarrassment at being able to speak so freely about someone she'd not seen in three years, but it sounded weak.
N's eyes watered at her sentiment. He slipped his hand from her grasp, cupped his hands beneath one of her own, and lifted it, to kiss her knuckles with wind-chapped lips.
"Hey!" She protested, glower-pouting at the green-haired man in front of her. "Why'd you do that?"
"Just – thank you, Touko," he sighed, smiling graciously at her. And, well, if he didn't know any better, he thought he saw Touko's eyes glimmer in a pleasant sort of way. N let her hand slide from his.
"I hope you don't do that with every girl," she teased with a smirk.
N raised a brow. "That doesn't sound like the appropriate thing to do."
"Oh? Well, it's not really appropriate to kiss a girl unless you know her very well." Touko informed him, still all silly-sass and playful poking.
"I know that much, Touko. A man should wait until the girl is comfortable, too." He nodded, quite certain that those were the exact rules on dating etiquette Daisy had taught him.
"But you kissed me."
"Just your hand – not your face," he reminded her with a grin.
Touko sighed. "Well, I guess you've won this round."
"I have to win some times, you know."
The brunette laughed and shook her head. "We all have to win at some point, you're right."
Silence descended like the sun through the sky, bathing everything in a pale orange. Sunset was just beginning. The sudden bursts of color reflected in Touko's eyes stirred something deep within N, and compelled him to take another risk.
"Touko?"
She turned her attention away from the sky to N. He felt his face grow hot again, and his palms slicked with sweat. "Yeah?"
"I know this is a bit unexpected and sudden, but I was wondering if you wouldn't – wouldn't mind…if I could kiss you." N asked with a slight shrug, willing his face to stop betraying him. He must have looked like an idiot, and even worse – sounded like an ass. He hadn't seen Touko in three years, and he was already asking to kiss her?
"Um, N," Touko chuckled, her soft smile melting away into a near-invisible frown, "I haven't seen you in three years, and really, how well did we know each other before that?" He felt his heart stop and crack a little. "I just don't feel comfortable being that intimate with someone I don't know enough about. I don't remember ever sitting down with you and talking about our interests or anything."
"I'm sorry," he apologized, looking anywhere but at Touko.
She sighed, and he found his chin forced up at a slight angle – still tipped down – so that he was making eye contact with Touko.
"Don't ever apologize, N." Touko put her hand on her hips and smiled at him suddenly. "Besides! If you want this," she snapped and pointed at herself, "then you're going to have to work for it."
N's eyes widened at Touko's sudden slip back into her cheerful demeanor. "Touko?"
She shrugged casually, but her eyes sparkled with embarrassment and mirth. "I think I'd really like to get to know you better, N. Maybe then, we can kiss. If I like you, of course." She winked.
He threw his head back and laughed. The sound was foreign to his ears and the feeling unfamiliar – being so happy and relieved that you laugh so carelessly – but it still seemed right. "I hope you'll like me, then."
"Me too," she said softly as she gripped his hand in hers, and led him down the path away from Abundant Shrine – away from the curling smoke, but still carrying the essence of the incense left as an offering to the great Landorus in her skin.
Reshiram carried the sunset's brilliance with her as she flew, and kept it until her passengers reached Undella Bay, and she was no longer needed.
N found Touko's hand, and grasped it with his own. She felt solid, and real, and there. His heart felt ready to burst at the seams when she squeezed his hand and smiled coyly up at him, leading him down some merchant street with a pleasant skip to her step. Touko slipped from his hold and dashed into the distance, pointing at a modest building with a wide grin. N couldn't help but admire her as he took his time to catch up.
When N was a young boy, no older than twelve, he'd imagined that he, the dashing hero, would fall in love with the lovely ingénue, and the pair would walk off into the sunset, a happy future guaranteed. They would be perfect together, just like in all of the stories he read. The future he envisioned was ideal.
Now twenty-one, N was not a hero nor in love with the girl from chapter three – though the woman he was in love with was a hero, N wasn't really certain if that counted – and what they were walking towards sure as hell wasn't a sunset, but it was something. It had more substance than a few lines ten minutes into the movie, then suddenly hooking up halfway through in a bedroom scene, and tossed through a tumultuous half-hour before love was guaranteed. He and Touko had their trials and tribulations, that shouldn't have been doubted, and it was practically guaranteed that there would be more. Substance existed here – reality and truths. Ideals were pushed to the back-burner, spurned for what was right in front of him this whole time, and really, he hadn't ever noticed her?
And as N opened the small café's door for his, what do they call this change in their relationship? Are they dating? girlfriend, he supposed, he smiled at her, at his reflection in the window. In his eyes, the past artifices and the truth standing in front of him melted together to make some indelibly beautiful shade. Inky black past met pale white future, and together, created the gray present. N's hand was clasped gently with Touko's. He vowed to himself, as they sat down near the window and he caught a glimpse of his reflection once more, that he would never let go. She was now his past, present and future – a tile in the mosaic that had been missing for quite some time now.
On the outside looking in, the tinted windows washed the couple in a peculiar stony gray.
Author's Notes –
Sock and I wrote this together. I wrote the first half, because apparently I'm better at characterizing N than Sock is. I love Sock's Touko, though. She's so awfully wonderful. This was really more of a test to see if we had any talent at this fanfiction thing than a serious attempt at a one-shot. Next time, it'll be better.
-Allen "Broh" B.
Hopefully you've enjoyed this one-shot. It was so much fun to collaborate with Broh, so I'm looking forward to writing another fanfic with my partner in crime! In the meantime, if you have any comments at all – good, bad, really bad – please do leave a review. It's how we know you're interested, and how we find out if we've done our jobs as writers adequately. Thank you! Also, for those of you that may be interested, Touko and Touya's teams are a mixture of mine and Broh's teams. They'll be listed in the next story we write, but this one, we didn't want to put any author's notes at the top more than we already had. Once again, thanks!
—Jen "Sock" B.