Rae: If you dont like cussing and swearing, don't read this next chapter,
cuz I'm too lazy to bleep it all out.
Dumbledore, McGonagall, and other random teachers: *exit*
Rae: It's Em and D12 in the best song of all freaking time:
MY BAND!
'Cept It will be sung by Harry and the Weasleys.
[prior mentioned walk onto the stage wearing baggy pants and headbands (all the while looking like poser/idiots, 'cept F&G of course)]
Harry: I don't know dude... I think everybodys all jealous and shit cuz I'm like the lead singer of a band dude... And I think everybodys got a fuckin problem with me dude... And they need to take it up with me after the show... Because...
Harry: These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
[Verse 1 - Harry (as Em)] So I get off stage right and drop the mic Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like "Sup ladies, my name is Harry" I'm the lead singer in the Anti-Malfoy baby They're all like:
Hermione and Ginny: *jump up*
Ginny: Oh my God it's him! Hermy oh my fuckin God it's the Boy Who Lived!
Hermione:I swear to fuckin god dude you fuckin rock Please won't you please let me suck your cock
Entire Crowd: *gaspgasp*
Harry: And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous Especially when I drop the beat and do my acapellas All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes Throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage So like every single night they pick a fight with me But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me Yesterday Fred tried to pull a knife on me Cause I told him Angela Johnson's my wife to be This rock star shit, it's the life for me And all the other guys just despise me because these...
Harry: These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band... My band [repeated 9xs]
[Verse 2 - Ron as Swifty]
Ron: *walks to center stage and Harry goes back with the others* You just wanna see a nigga backwards don't you Hey dad how come we don't rap on pro too Smash these vocals and do a performance But we in the van and he in a tour bus You don't want my autograph, yous a liar And no I'm Ron
Lee : oh I thought you was Fred
Ron: Naw, and what the hell is wrong with our dressing room Cuz our shit is lookin smaller than a decimal See I know how to rap, see it's simple but All I did was read a Russell Simmons book So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map Doin' jumpin jacks while gettin whipped on my back
[Verse 3 - Fred and George as Kuniva and Konartis] George:*takes center stage* Look at him! little punk ass thinkin' he the shit
Fred: *follows* Yeah I know man find himself takin on a flick
George: Ya. Hey I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue
Harry: *steps forward* No I had an interview not you two*steps back*
Fred: *sigh* hey! you gonna be late for soundcheck
George Man I ain't goin' to soundcheck
Fred: But our mics are screwed up and his always sound best- You know what man I'ma say something Hey yo Harry!
Harry: *holding up his wand*You got somethin to say?!
Fred: *wide eyes* Man no
George: *pouts*I thought you bout to tell him off, man what's up
Fred: *punches George in the arm (not playfully)*Man I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be crew *turns away*
George: When I was bout o talk right after you I swear,
Fred:oh man whatever
George: I swear man!
Harry: *steals center stage again as Fred and George continue to argue in the shadows* These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
[Verse 4 - Bill as Proof**] Bill : *center stage, y'all* They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not Once we sold out arenas to the amusement park I'm gonna let the world know that Bill is hot
Bill Fangrils: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Bill: *grins* I should cut his mic off when the musics starts
Percy: Hey you!
Bill: Ready to snap on a dumbass fan Every time i hear-
Lee: Hey dude I love your band!
Bill:We ain't a band bitch we don't play instruments So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent And these guys they can find every area code
Harry: *sigh*Bill, carry my bag
Bill: *flips him the finger (^^ go Bill!) Bitch carry your own Can't make it to the stage, security in my way
Percy :Who the fuck are you? Where's Obie and Dre?!
[Verse 5 - Ron as Bizarre] Ron :*twitching every 5 seconds* dammit I'm sick of this group Time for me to go solo and make some loot *twitch* I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps Till Gerogie ova there slipped me some crack*twitch* Lose Yourself video I was in the back Superman video I was in the back! *twitch* Fuck the media, I got some suggestions Fuck Potter!, ask us the questions*twitch* Like who's da Anti-Malfoy, how we get started?
Ginny: But what about da Boy Who Lived?
Ron:Bitch are you retarded? Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group*twitch* Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute
Hermione: *cat call* hey sexy
50 told me to do situps to get buff I did two and a half and couldn't get up*twitch* Fuck the Anti-Malfoy, I'm outta this band I'm gonna start a group with the real Roxanne*laughs*
[Harry as Eminem mocking Boy Band]
Harry: *takes center stage in this really dorky outfit I hope I never have to see in my entire freakin life*:
Girl why can't you see you're the only one for me and it just tears my ass apart to know that you dont know my band...
Ron - Man fuck this:
[Chorus - Ron as Bizarre mocking Em/Harry]
Ron:These chicks don't even know the name of my band...
Fred/Kuniva:ha ha
Ron: But they all on me like they wanna hold hands...
Geroge/Konartis: Fuck Potter!
Cuz once I blow I know that I'll be the man...
Bill:Yeah
Ron:All because I'm the new Slim Shady
All(except Harry): *laughs*
My Band [Repeated 9x]
[Outro] The hottest boy band in the world... Anti-Malfoy!!
[Harry as Eminem as a salsa singer(dont worry, I didnt get it either)] I'm the lead singer of my band, I get all the girl's to take off their underpants I'm the lead singer of my band, my salsa
Fred and George: *leave*
Makes all the pretty girl's want to dance My salsa,(whoooow)look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa...
Bill:*makes a strangling motion in the air, then leaves*
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa Makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants
Ron: *rolls eyes and leaves*
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants, my salsa
Harry: ...Where'd everybody go?
[prior mentioned walk onto the stage wearing baggy pants and headbands (all the while looking like poser/idiots, 'cept F&G of course)]
Harry: I don't know dude... I think everybodys all jealous and shit cuz I'm like the lead singer of a band dude... And I think everybodys got a fuckin problem with me dude... And they need to take it up with me after the show... Because...
Harry: These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
[Verse 1 - Harry (as Em)] So I get off stage right and drop the mic Walk up to the hot chicks and I'm all like "Sup ladies, my name is Harry" I'm the lead singer in the Anti-Malfoy baby They're all like:
Hermione and Ginny: *jump up*
Ginny: Oh my God it's him! Hermy oh my fuckin God it's the Boy Who Lived!
Hermione:I swear to fuckin god dude you fuckin rock Please won't you please let me suck your cock
Entire Crowd: *gaspgasp*
Harry: And by now the rest of the fellas get jealous Especially when I drop the beat and do my acapellas All the chicks start yellin', all the hot babes Throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage So like every single night they pick a fight with me But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry
Cuz they're back on stage the next night with me Dude I just think you're tryna steal the light from me Yesterday Fred tried to pull a knife on me Cause I told him Angela Johnson's my wife to be This rock star shit, it's the life for me And all the other guys just despise me because these...
Harry: These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band... My band [repeated 9xs]
[Verse 2 - Ron as Swifty]
Ron: *walks to center stage and Harry goes back with the others* You just wanna see a nigga backwards don't you Hey dad how come we don't rap on pro too Smash these vocals and do a performance But we in the van and he in a tour bus You don't want my autograph, yous a liar And no I'm Ron
Lee : oh I thought you was Fred
Ron: Naw, and what the hell is wrong with our dressing room Cuz our shit is lookin smaller than a decimal See I know how to rap, see it's simple but All I did was read a Russell Simmons book So I'm more intact, tryna get on the map Doin' jumpin jacks while gettin whipped on my back
[Verse 3 - Fred and George as Kuniva and Konartis] George:*takes center stage* Look at him! little punk ass thinkin' he the shit
Fred: *follows* Yeah I know man find himself takin on a flick
George: Ya. Hey I thought we had an interview with DJ Clue
Harry: *steps forward* No I had an interview not you two*steps back*
Fred: *sigh* hey! you gonna be late for soundcheck
George Man I ain't goin' to soundcheck
Fred: But our mics are screwed up and his always sound best- You know what man I'ma say something Hey yo Harry!
Harry: *holding up his wand*You got somethin to say?!
Fred: *wide eyes* Man no
George: *pouts*I thought you bout to tell him off, man what's up
Fred: *punches George in the arm (not playfully)*Man I'ma tell him when I feel like it, man shut up And you ain't even back me up when we s'posed to be crew *turns away*
George: When I was bout o talk right after you I swear,
Fred:oh man whatever
George: I swear man!
Harry: *steals center stage again as Fred and George continue to argue in the shadows* These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that i'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band...
[Verse 4 - Bill as Proof**] Bill : *center stage, y'all* They say the lead singers rock, but the group does not Once we sold out arenas to the amusement park I'm gonna let the world know that Bill is hot
Bill Fangrils: DAMN STRAIGHT!
Bill: *grins* I should cut his mic off when the musics starts
Percy: Hey you!
Bill: Ready to snap on a dumbass fan Every time i hear-
Lee: Hey dude I love your band!
Bill:We ain't a band bitch we don't play instruments So why he get 90 and we only get 10 percent And these guys they can find every area code
Harry: *sigh*Bill, carry my bag
Bill: *flips him the finger (^^ go Bill!) Bitch carry your own Can't make it to the stage, security in my way
Percy :Who the fuck are you? Where's Obie and Dre?!
[Verse 5 - Ron as Bizarre] Ron :*twitching every 5 seconds* dammit I'm sick of this group Time for me to go solo and make some loot *twitch* I told you I made the beats and wrote all the raps Till Gerogie ova there slipped me some crack*twitch* Lose Yourself video I was in the back Superman video I was in the back! *twitch* Fuck the media, I got some suggestions Fuck Potter!, ask us the questions*twitch* Like who's da Anti-Malfoy, how we get started?
Ginny: But what about da Boy Who Lived?
Ron:Bitch are you retarded? Anyway I'm the popularest guy in the group*twitch* Big ass stomach, bitches think I'm cute
Hermione: *cat call* hey sexy
50 told me to do situps to get buff I did two and a half and couldn't get up*twitch* Fuck the Anti-Malfoy, I'm outta this band I'm gonna start a group with the real Roxanne*laughs*
[Harry as Eminem mocking Boy Band]
Harry: *takes center stage in this really dorky outfit I hope I never have to see in my entire freakin life*:
Girl why can't you see you're the only one for me and it just tears my ass apart to know that you dont know my band...
Ron - Man fuck this:
[Chorus - Ron as Bizarre mocking Em/Harry]
Ron:These chicks don't even know the name of my band...
Fred/Kuniva:ha ha
Ron: But they all on me like they wanna hold hands...
Geroge/Konartis: Fuck Potter!
Cuz once I blow I know that I'll be the man...
Bill:Yeah
Ron:All because I'm the new Slim Shady
All(except Harry): *laughs*
My Band [Repeated 9x]
[Outro] The hottest boy band in the world... Anti-Malfoy!!
[Harry as Eminem as a salsa singer(dont worry, I didnt get it either)] I'm the lead singer of my band, I get all the girl's to take off their underpants I'm the lead singer of my band, my salsa
Fred and George: *leave*
Makes all the pretty girl's want to dance My salsa,(whoooow)look out for my next single, it's called My Salsa...
Bill:*makes a strangling motion in the air, then leaves*
My salsa, salsa, salsa, salsa, my salsa Makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants
Ron: *rolls eyes and leaves*
My salsa makes all the pretty girls want to dance And take off their underpants, my salsa
Harry: ...Where'd everybody go?