This is set on New Years Eve after "A Merry Little Christmas".
I don't own JAG, but if I did I would include all bloopers from each season in the DVD sets.
This is unedited and unbetaed. All mistakes are my own. Sorry.
Honest Feedback is always appreciated.
Destiny
By TR
Rated Mild
I can feel her eyes on me. Intermittent sidelong glances thrown across the room. A press to the senses. A tingle on the skin. A sensation I should be immune to after 8 years. I am not immune. I'll never be immune to her.
We are both sitting alone in a crowded restaurant full of lovers, and lusters, and friends who won't let friends be alone on New Years Eve. We are alone. Tables apart. Light years apart. I am waiting for the only person I have let into my life for a very long time. I don't want to know who she's waiting for. I could guess, but why torture myself? She's beautiful. Beautiful and out of reach.
I sneak my own glance toward her at just the wrong moment. Or maybe the right one. I can never tell with her. Our eyes meet and hold. Something settles deep inside me. We're too old for these foolish games. I try to smile and tilt my head in invitation. We're waiting for other people. Why wait alone?
It takes her a minute, or two - she'd be able to tell me exactly – to accept my invitation. I see her flag down the waiter, point to her table, then to me. They meet with an agreement, and a few steps later she's standing in front of me. I stand, out of reflex, out of respect.
"Hi."
"Hi," Is all I can manage. I blink. Focus. The pale pink of her dress shimmers, dances against her skin. It moves with her contours in a coating of liquid silk. I force my eyes away. Too late to hide my admiration. Her cheeks pink up. She says nothing. I gesture to the seat opposite mine. She takes it. Crosses her legs.
"You've been waiting a long time."
I nod. "So have you. What are you doing here?"
Her laugh is absurd. "I'm going out for dinner. Like everyone else here."
I fight the urge to smack myself upside the head. "Right. Of course. Sorry. I uh…just didn't expect to see you."
"I didn't expect to see you either. I'm glad I did though. We haven't had a lot of time…"
Time. How much time has passed us by? How much more until we get it right? "No we haven't. It's good to get away. I love the job, but there are days…"
"I know what you mean." Her eyes travel over me. The tingle returns. Full force. Closer. She's closer now. "At least you're out of uniform." She lifts her drink. Sips. "I haven't worn anything but my uniform and pajamas for I don't know how long."
She lifts her glass again. Runs a finger around the edge. "Sometimes it's easier to…shed the ranks and just be a person. Tonight I didn't want to be a Marine Colonel I just wanted to be…"
"…Beautiful." I don't know where that came from. It certainly didn't ask permission to leap from my mouth and hang in the air between us, but there it is. I watch her face. The pink is back. "Would you like to dance?"
She raises her eyes. Looks toward the door. "Are you sure you're date wouldn't mind?"
I can't help but smile. "I know she wouldn't."
She stands and the liquid silk floats down to cover her mid thigh. I try with all my might not to get hung up on the generous portion of leg showing through the slit. I fail, and my eyes travel the slit to the floor.
This time she speaks up. "Why are you staring at me? You'd think you'd never seen me in a dress before."
"Not that dress."
Her smile is warm. Bigger than I've seen in years. "Thank you."
We make it to the dance floor. Slide together. Fit like a glove. Her skin is soft. We move to the music. I don't know the song. I don't care. We turn. Her eyes settle on the door. I try to be casual. "You think he'll show?"
"He probably got called away."
"Ah, the life of a spy."
She pulls back. Finds my eyes. "Actually he's a brain surgeon."
My heart thumps. Trips in my chest. "No Webb?"
"No Webb."
Hope blooms in my belly. Spreads to my fingertips. We dance. I add steps. A twirl. Another. We smile. "Is he really a brain surgeon?"
"Yes he is."
I give a low whistle. "Hard to compete."
She stops dancing. Studies me. "Are you trying to compete Harm?"
I'm stuck. With nothing but the truth for an answer. "Only if I have a chance."
She has no retort. I pull her close. We move again. "It's not a date."
"What?"
"Tonight. It's not a date. Not that kind of date."
"Okay."
"He's my AA sponsor. I've known him since I started going back to the meetings."
"After Koster?"
"After Koster."
"So..not a date?"
"Not a date."
Relief builds up. Settles at my feet. I want to dive in. Throw it above my head like so many autumn leaves. I hold her close. Tighter. The air changes. Charged with promises waiting to be spoken. I whisper her name against her hair. "Do you believe in parallel dimensions?"
She frowns. Odd question. "You mean like alternate universes? I don't know. I guess anything is possible. Why?"
"I'm just wondering. You know...if at some time, some place, I looked at you and said all the right words at the right time."
Her eyes shine. With wonder? With tears? "And I wonder if there's a version of me out there somewhere who could understand the things you couldn't say, before it was too late." She shakes her head. "It doesn't matter Harm. We're here now aren't we?" She hesitates. Remembering. "Unless your date...?"
I look at my table, where Mattie is now sitting. Cheshire grin firmly in place. "I told you she wouldn't mind."
Her eyes close. Shoulders relax. In exhaustion? Relief?
I take her hand. "You're right, Mac. We are here now. I don't know about alternate universes, parallel dimensions...I just know, that in every lifetime, in every time or place Harmon Rabb is in love with Sarah Mackenzie. Even if I don't know how to say it. Or how to be with you, I..."
"Harm..."
I don't respond. There's no time. Her lips are on mine. She tastes of tonic. Tears. Woman. I taste her again. With fervor. With care. I know. Somewhere. Inside my soul. That this is the moment that I begin to believe in destiny.
End of scene. Good? Bad? Rat gunk? Let me know.