Okay, so perhaps pissing off Carson while confined to the infirmary was not the best of ideas.
Especially not if they resulted in you being strapped to an infirmary bed with only a thin sheet covering your pale, naked flesh. Highly sensitive flesh that should not be exposed to such course material, thank-you-very-much.
20/20 hindsight, smirked a blonde floating around his head. He did warn you.
Oh God, he thought, that's the last person you need to be thinking of right now. And just for the record, this is completely unnecessary. Even if I did miraculously get free of these restraints, its not as if I'd make a bolt for the door… Again.
Even if I did have my clothes.
He fidgeted under the restraints.
Just lucky I don't have bondage kinks. Although on second thought, if it was Sam Carter, I'd do just about anything for- no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, but she was hot in that bikini.
He cringed and tried counting prime numbers.
151 157
Sam.
163 167
Sa-aam.
173 179
Nek-kid
18- oh, God! Why does my subconscious hate me?
Think un-sexy thoughts, think un-sexy thoughts. He chanted, valiantly trying to ignore the little red Rodney prancing around his head with a pair of maracas, singing: Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini.
Rodney under a blanket in the infirmary!
He started praying the little angel on his other shoulder would pop up soon, knowing full well it was probably off doing what Rodney wanted to do right now.
Nasty thoughts, nasty thoughts, bad inappropriate thoughts.
The devil with the maracas was now doing a very unseemly dance and singing even louder.
Sam in a bikini - Colonel Sheppard dancing - Sam in a bikini - Sgt Bates flirting - Sam in a bikini - Major Lorne uh - Sam -Col. Caldwell in a bikini.
"Arrrgh!"
Too far. Too, too far.
"Rodney, what is it?"
"Nothing." he said, full aware his manly snarl had somewhat more resembled a terrified yelp.
"Are you feeling all right? You're looking a wee bit flushed."
"I'm fine." he replied, far too aware that his voice was several octaves too high.
"Maybe we should take a closer look at you. You look like you're sweating a wee bit as well – you might have picked up something in the water we couldn't detect."
He shifted under the blankets.
"No Carson really, I'm fine, I'm just -" What? Having trouble ignoring repeated images of Samantha Carter.
"Just what?"
"Just take the stupid cuffs off."
"Oh, so that's what this is about then? I think not."
"Carson. Carson, come back here."
Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini.
It was gonna be a long night. And he was certain that somewhere in another galaxy a beautiful blonde was smirking in her sleep, and somewhere upstairs a friend of hers was laughing aloud.
Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini, Sam in a bikini.
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