a/n: this started as a writing exercise but slowly became a four-part series when I kept going back to it for writing exercises. Hope you enjoy! I'll post one a day until it's done, but all of the parts are on my tumblr (with the exception of the last as of right now) if you want to see them :)
"How are you?" he whispers into the phone, as if they're lying side-by-side in this bed that's far too cold.
Emma curls her legs up toward her chest. If she closes her eyes, it's almost like he's right here with her. So she keeps them closed and doesn't dare open them.
"Busy," Emma replies. "Kinda miss you, Jones."
"Kind of?" he asks as if he's completely scandalized. "Bloody hell, Swan, I miss you a hell of a lot more than kind of."
Emma giggles into her hand and licks her lips. "Maybe a little more than that."
Her heart aches as she takes a deep breath.
"Well, I'll be there in two more sleeps," Killian says softly.
"Two?"
"Mm," Killian hums. He's quiet. She listens to his breaths, soft and even.
Emma traces a circle into her bed with her toes. "You're my best friend."
"Aye," he replies in a sleepy murmur. "I know." She can hear his lopsided grin in the tone of his voice and it makes her heart skip a beat as her stomach flips. "You're my best friend too."
"Yeah," Emma whispers, smiling softly. "I know."
She doesn't dare to open her eyes because she can see his face as clear as if he were here with her. She can almost feel his warmth.
"Liam says I'm overdramatic," Killian says. "Thinks I should find a new best friend."
Emma scoffs. "Why? Because I'm not good for you?"
"No, because you're perfect for me, more like," Killian says quickly.
It settles in the air between them like the unspoken feelings that come over them when they're together- the lingering touches and glances, the words that always feel like they mean something more.
Emma burrows deeper into her bed and chills run down her arms.
"Killian?"
"Hm?"
She can tell he's getting tired- it's late where he is, much later than it is where she is now.
"I can't wait to see you."
He chuckles warmly. "I can't wait to see you either."
"Two sleeps."
"Two sleeps."
/
Killian: one more sleep
Emma: one more sleep
/
The moment she sees him, he's coming down a hallway with a bunch of other travelers. He has a bag draped over his shoulder and he looks so much better than she could've remembered.
He has a beard now- man is she going to love teasing him about it- and he has a leather jacket on. It's his M.O. She could spot him in a crowd of a thousand people- wearing that dumb leather jacket she had the audacity to buy him one year for Christmas before he ever became a platinum selling musician.
Emma grins when she sets her gaze on him. She's standing with Mary Margaret, who is currently eight months pregnant, and when she spies her husband David walking alongside Killian, her smile is almost as wide as Emma's.
"Go," Mary Margaret insists on a laugh when Emma nervously meets her eyes.
Emma hesitates before she takes off running. She doesn't think Killian sees her until she gets a few feet away from him. His smile splits his face in two and he laughs even before she collides with him.
Her legs go around his hips and she digs her fingers into his hair as she clings to him.
"Oh my God, you're here," Emma murmurs into his ear. "You're here."
Killian laughs as he squeezes her tight. "Bloody hell, Swan. Gods, I've missed you so much."
Emma breathes him in and shuts her eyes before allowing her legs to fall back to the ground. She laughs softly and their foreheads touch as their eyes meet again.
"Don't leave again," she says, even though she knows it's something that can't be helped.
Killian stares at her like he never has had the opportunity before. "Come with me next time."
Her heart skips a beat. She doesn't have time to think about it, because Liam's voice breaks them apart.
"Well, here you are, Emma,"
"Hey, Liam." Emma smiles. She's lingering by Killian's side, her arm around his shoulders. "How was going international?"
"Bloody chaos," Liam says. He smiles though and straightens out the hat on his head. He looks at his brother. "I'm sure you've got mad plans already for the week."
"Including but not limited to at least twenty hours of lounging in front of my TV." Emma says.
Killian and Liam both laugh happily.
"Well, I suppose it could be worse." Liam tilts his head forward. "I'll leave you two to it."
As Liam walks away, Emma curls her fingers around Killian's arm. Killian turns his head to kiss her forehead chastely.
"C'mon, we've got to get the luggage."
Her heart races and she knows this thing between them is dangerous, but she holds onto his hand anyway as they walk forward.
Mary Margaret shoots her at least sixteen looks, but Emma keeps her attention on Killian as he's explaining a story to her.
"I'm glad you're here."
"I'm glad I'm here too."
/
The last night that Killian and the band are in town, they gather at a bar.
She's tipsy before he is, but that's not a surprise.
They don't get drunk because Killian has a long day ahead of him and Emma has work in the morning, but they're sufficiently giggly with alcohol buzzing in their veins.
What's a surprise is the words that bubble out of his mouth into her ear as they're sitting in the taxi on their way back to her place.
"I love you, Emma Swan."
Emma stares at him and she almost laughs, but he's her best friend. He's her best friend and she's not going to see him for another few months.
So instead of thinking, Emma does.
"I love you too." Emma whispers into his ear.
Killian's eyes brighten and he smiles. "Well, that's good."
They giggle into their first kiss. They sigh into their second. Groan into their third.
/
The sun isn't out to blind her when she opens her eyes to Killian's alarm. It's four in the morning and they were definitely out too long for this.
They both groan.
Emma falls back asleep despite her interest in being awake to say goodbye.
/
"So…" Killian's voice is thick with tiredness and stress as it comes through her phone speaker.
Emma closes her eyes. She's wrapped in one of the shirts she found that he'd left behind and it's almost like he's here.
"We did some things," Emma whispers.
Killian sighs. "We did some things."
She licks her lips and her heart races. "I liked those things."
Killian is quiet for a second. "I did too."
She can practically see the red of his cheeks and ears as he smiles wryly. Emma giggles and curls her legs toward her chest.
"Emma, I'm sorry I didn't try to stay and talk with you in the morning. That was awful of me. You must have-"
"No, it's fine," Emma promises. "You have this crazy tour schedule and I was exhausted. Obviously from a thoroughly exhausting activity."
Killian snorts. "Emma."
"Killian, I love that you want to be a gentleman, but you're a part of a huge band and I'm just… here, waiting for you to come back."
"Shouldn't be like this," Killian murmurs. She hears him toss onto his side. "I didn't want it to happen like this."
Emma furrows her brow. "What?"
"I've been in love with you for some time, Emma," he whispers and it hits her like a brick. "And I didn't intend to tell you as much and then- bloody hell, Emma, I didn't want to be on a bus heading away from you-"
Emma laughs. She can't help it. "Killian, it's okay." She pauses. "I miss you. That's not going to get easier. But, when you come back we can pick up where we left off. In the meantime, we have our talks. Right?"
"Aye," Killian sighs. "About that, Emma… now that we're doing shows here-"
"You're not going to be free until like two in the morning," Emma finishes for him. Her belly lurches and her heart sinks.
"We can talk in the morning before you go to work."
"I don't want you to do that. You need rest too."
Killian sighs heavily. "Well."
"Well."
/
Killian: miss you.
Emma: miss you.
/
She starts throwing up.
She buys a test.
It's positive.
/
Killian: the show was wild tonight! I wish you were here! Miss you so much. Here's a pic of Liam and I pre-show. We've got our guyliner on… know how much you love it.
/
Killian: you alright? It's been a few days.
/
Killian: Tell me you're not pissed with me. I've got no idea what I've done but I'm sorry for it.
/
"Emma, I just miss your voice," he says. "Please call me. I don't care if I'm asleep when you call or if I'm on stage in the middle of a song- just… I'll answer. I just want to talk to you."
Emma sighs heavily. She's sitting on the edge of her bed listening to his call for the hundredth time. It's three in the morning. She should be asleep. So should he.
But Emma's awake, staring at the little black and white blob on a piece of paper with tears in her eyes.
She doesn't know what she's doing, but her finger hovers over his contact and she trembles as she presses the call button.
Emma brings her phone to her ear and wipes her wrist under her nose and wipes her eyes with her fingers as she breathes in deep.
It rings a few times.
"'Ello?" his voice is slurred and it's obvious she woke him up. "Emma?"
She sits there, listening to him with her heart racing fast. Her stomach flips and flops and she feels panic rise up in her.
She hangs up.
It's her first mistake.
Her second is shutting off her phone when he calls the second time.
/
Mary Margaret is a good mom.
She invites Emma to come visit when little Leo is a few days old and Emma almost collapses into a puddle the second she lays eyes on the sweet newborn baby. She's allowed to hold him and that's when tears start to roll down her cheeks.
"Emma? Sweetie, what's wrong?"
Emma looks at Mary Margaret and shrugs her shoulders pathetically.
"I slept with Killian," she murmurs. "And I'm pregnant."
Mary Margaret's frown deepens and she wraps an arm around Emma. She presses a kiss to her temple. "It's okay, Emma. It's okay."'
/
Killian: Happy birthday, Swan. I miss you. I'm endlessly sorry for whatever it is I've done.
/
It's Emma's birthday when she starts to show.
Emma hangs out with Leo and Mary Margaret and David a lot. They do almost everything together, so it's where she goes on her birthday- to their little apartment.
Mary Margaret makes a cake. David sings and plays guitar. Leo even seems to be happy.
"Have you talked to Killian lately?" David wonders as they're sitting in front of the television that night.
"No," Emma sighs.
Her arms instinctively go around her middle as she turns to look at David. He frowns at her.
"Maybe you should."
Emma shrugs. "I don't know."
David reaches down to take her hand. "I know he misses you. He asks about you all the time."
/
killianjones: Heading to LA for a show tomorrow night! Hope to see you there!
/
Emma takes a deep breath as she stands in front of room number 422. Her fingers tremble and she almost turns away, but she steadies herself instead and makes a fist to knock.
A bag is draped over her shoulder and she looks around as she waits for a reply.
When the door opens, she's met with shock and awe. Killian stares at her as if he's never seen her before and Emma smiles weakly.
"Hi," she whispers. She searches his eyes and he surges forward to wrap his arms around her.
He's so much warmer than she remembers. He sighs against her and she only holds on tighter.
"Emma, Emma, Emma," he murmurs. "Gods, I've missed you- oh, God, I've missed you."
When Killian pulls away, she takes a breath and reaches for his hand. "Come in. We've got so much to talk about- does Liam know you're here?"
Emma doesn't move. She shakes her head. "Killian, I…" She looks around and closes her eyes. "I'm pregnant."
"What?" Killian asks, his face becoming serious.
Emma drags his hand over her middle, where the slight curve of her belly is. She meets his eyes after a moment of staring down at his hand against her.
"I'm pregnant," she whispers brokenly. Emma manages a smile. "You're gonna be a daddy."
Killian's breathing quickens and he surges forward to cup her face between his hands. He smiles and settles his forehead against hers as laughter comes from his belly.
"Bloody hell," he laughs. "Emma, this is incredible."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
/
He kisses her stomach and presses his ear over her bellybutton while they lie on his hotel bed. Her fingers go into his hair and she can't help but smile while she listens to him talk softly to her middle.
"We're going to have to think of a name," Killian says excitedly. He draws a line over her belly. "How far along are you? Have you had much morning sickness? Where are we going to live?"
Emma laughs and Killian draws himself up toward her. He kisses her long and sweet before bumping noses with her.
"Bloody hell, I love you."
Emma laughs again softly. She presses her hand against his scruffy cheek. "I love you too."
Killian settles down beside her but touches her belly as soon as he can. It makes her smile as she stares at him.
"I'm almost four months," Emma tells him. "And I did have morning sickness, but not a lot lately." She slides a leg between his. "And I think we're going to have to talk about the topic of us before we decide that."
"Hm," Killian kisses her again. "I think I'd like to spend the rest of my days tangled up in blankets watching our television shows."
Emma laughs. "What about the baby?"
"The baby can watch the television too, Swan." Emma gives him a look and he laughs sweetly. "Kidding, darling."
Emma stares at him and he stares right back for the longest time. A small smile fills his lips and he brushes her hair behind her ear lovingly.
"You're my best friend,"
"Yeah," Emma smiles softly. "I know." She nuzzles his nose and settles her palm against his cheek, her thumb digging into his dimple. "You're my best friend too."
Killian takes a heavy breath and her eyes fall shut. "Marry me."
Emma's smile spreads to her eyes and she whispers, "Okay."