Title: I remember my heart is still hard to bond
Pairings: multiple pairings (many including Nakatsu and Umeda)
Rating: currently pg-13 but will become NC-17 sooner or later.
Genre: romance, drama, angst
Summary: After Mizuki, Nakatsu learned something about himself he couldn't ignore. Umeda is there to lead him on the way to his new lifestyle.
A/N: This story is really like the plot bunny what wouldn't go away. It nearly chewed my leg off. So I have a couple of things to say about this fic. First is this fic isn't going to be as simple as it may sound. Nakatsu isn't going to get fucked by Umeda and that be the end of it. I really want Nakatsu to explore must most teens do, explore relationships and maybe a few serious ones. Umeda is going to become like a mentor for him. (Since you know it isn't as easy finding relations with someone of the same sex, and I'm very sure Nakatsu wouldn't be able to do much on his own.) This leads me to the other thing I want to talk about. If anyone wants this story then I need reviews. I'm not going to waste my time on this if I don't get the reviews I'm wanting. I have many other fics that I could be working on besides this. I want this to be a good complex story but only if you guys let me because if this doesn't work out then I'm moving on to the fics I work on in LiveJoural. So enough of my nagging and I'll let you jump into it.
Nakatsu discovered, after his love for Mizuki had dimmed to pure friendship, that there was something in his life that changed. With all the time he had believed he was in love with a boy, he had considered the physical aspect of being with a boy. Whether or not Mizuki was secretly a girl, Nakatsu didn't know that. (Taiki had always neglected to tell him.) He would think about it late at night sometimes, wondering what it would be like to kiss a guy or even make love with one. As time went on the thoughts became more frequent as well as more graphic. It was clear, Taiki could tell by Nakatsu aura, not to ever bring up the sounds of Nakatsu's soft moans that he heard late at night.
It grew further then Nakatsu could have ever imagined by the time he had confessed to Mizuki alone. He heart pumped so fast with her in his arms. Not for one second did he believe that Mizuki was a girl. All he could think of was that the person he loved so much was in his arms and how much he wanted to keep on holding Mizuki. Rejection set in soon enough, and he had Taiki to comfort him.
He thought, when he found out that Mizuki was a girl, that all of it would just go away. Not his feeling for her, but the longing of what he pictured as a male body and the dreams of such. He denied it for some months after Mizuki went back to America. He wanted to really keep on thinking he was straight even though he had been right on the edge before. Nakatsu still wanted to hold on to the last hope that he was straight, that he was normal.
He started noticing certain things during soccer practice and the locker room. He would hit himself whenever his brain started thinking those thoughts. It was getting hard to handle it on his own so he went to the best councilor he could think of, Nakao. He had never really acknowledged Nakao's crush on Minami before he started to like Mizuki. In a way it made him feel like he wasn't alone in his struggle. Though he never acted like it, he watched the way Nakao reacted about their sempai. Even after Minami graduated, Nakatsu could tell the boy was still harboring feelings.
If only Nakatsu knew that his classmate was only a small stepping stone to the real councilor that would lead him on his path to new sexual discovery.
It was extremely awkward asking Nakao questions once he caught him after class. At first he tried to act like his happy-go-lucky self and put everything off as a joke, but Nakatsu could see that he had upset Nakao.
"Don't treat my feelings as a joke. Even Nanba-sempai treated my feelings with more respect then this," the cute boy had told him.
He was lashing out but not in his normal way. Nakao stood still with his face strong and serious making him look more mature then Nakatsu had ever seen him. So he threw his pride away and explained himself with every detail about all his feelings and desires to this guy he never really given time to talk to. Nakao looked down with flushed cheeks as he pointed down the hall. Nakatsu was going to question him when Nakao clarified.
"Sensei. Umeda-sensei will be able to help you more then I can."
Nakatsu's face darkened as he felt a cold chill creep up his back. There was no way he was going to ask that demon for advice. He wondered how in the world he would be able to help him. He screamed a million times in his head that there was no way the doctor could help with this kind of thing, and he was defiantly not going to see him. He still felt beside himself when he ended up in the infirmary. He still wondered why the man was a doctor since he kicked him when he came busting into the room. It took a lot of control to not yell at him like he normally did. Instead he asked if he could explain himself. It was only when he paid attention is when he noticed that Akiha was in the room as well.
It was rare, not that Nakatsu knew it, that Umeda and Akiha sat quietly beside each other as they listened to the younger boy's problem. After he seemed like he was finished the two looked at each other as if to reaffirm something.
"Are you sure? Do you really think you like guys? This isn't just about her, right?" Umeda asked before lighting himself a cigarette. Akiha shortly joined him by touching the end of list to Umeda's to light it. Nakatsu watched them carefully, watching the intimate jesters of people who didn't world well together.
Nakatsu snapped out of his daze to answer.
"No it isn't just Mizuki anymore. I can't seem to stop it now."
Umeda looked like he was considering something as he took a long drag of the cigarette. A puff a smoke soothed out his lips with a sigh. Umeda's fingers delicately held the stick away from his mouth as tip of it glowed amber while tiny trails of smoke drifted towards the ceiling. His other hand came up to rub the silent frustration from his temples. His eyes stared by at Nakatsu with a cat-like gleam.
"I can help you."