I do not own harry potter or any of its characters. This is my first fanfiction so go easy on me please.

(this is the summer before 7th year)

"Protago" Lily yelled, casting the shield charm just in time to deflect the lamp her sister had just thrown at her. Not once had Lily used magic in one of their fights, but this time she didn't have a choice.

" Just leave FREAK! Take all your freakishness and get the fuck away from me! I never want to see you again. I wish you were never born" Petunia screamed at her sister.

"Please Tuny, please stop. You don't mean that" Lily desperately pleaded with her sister. Lily slowly walked towards her petunia, arms raised in surrender and tried again. "please Petunia, just talk to me. We used to be best friends when we were little, why can't we try to get along?"

"Because you are a FREAK! You are not normal. A mistake. You were not meant to be in this world. I'm done with you and your freakishness running my life. Mum and Dad might be blinded from the truth, but not me. I can see just how much you don't belong in the world. "

"But I am your sister! We are supposed to be friends, we're supposed to accept each other the way they are."

"Get it through your head, we are not sisters." And with that Petunia slapped Lily across her face leaving a bright red hand print her cheek. That is all it took to finally break Lily. She could take being called mean names, despite how much it hurt. But never had Petunia slapped her with that much hate. Lily used to believe that Petunia didn't actually hate her and that the name calling and mean comments were just a mask for the jealousy and hurt that had been slowly building ever since Lily received her acceptance letter and left her sister behind. But she now saw just how wrong she had been. The sisters stood there staring at each other, both were breathing heavily but only Lily had tears streaming down her face.

Lily searched her sister's face for any sign of remorse, but her search came up empty. Something inside lily broke. She had to get out of there and away from the hate filled eyes that were currently staring relentlessly at her. Lily drew her wand, to one last glance around the now wrecked living room, turned on the spot and disapparated.

Over the past two years she and James slowly became friends and Lily, though she would deny it to anyone who asked, began to have feelings for him. After the incident after the O.W.L.s , the day that sev- No Snape had called her that one unforgivable word, the day she lost her best friend. Even though she had lost him the moment they were sorted into different houses, the comment still hurt. Lily did lose a friend that day, she also gained one-well actually two, considering the fact the James and Sirius were a package deal. James had done something that Shocked Lily completely. He apologized. He apologized for teasing her, embarrassing her, playing mean pranks on her. He asked for a second chance, a chance to be friends.

Lily looked up and saw the grand entrance gate of Potter Manor. She was slightly intimidated by it. It looked like something you would find guarding a castle with the tall metal rods and shinny family crest. Even though she and James were good friends, Lily was still surprised to see that this was the first place that come to mind when she disapparated. She then realized that she was quickly becoming drenched from the rain. Unsure of what she should do, she made a list of her options.

Her best friend Marlene was in France with her family. Alice was currently visiting her boyfriend frank. Mary and Emma had four brothers and didn't really have room for her. It was almost the full moon so that took Remus out if the equation and Lily really wasn't close enough with her other friends to show up unannounced looking for a place to stay. And on top of all that she was beginning to become very wet and very cold. Lily hesitantly walked up to the large oak door, lifted her hand, and knocked.

James Potter was sitting in his room playing exploding snap with Sirius, when he heard someone knocking on the front door. James couldn't Imagine who would be knocking on his door in the middle of a thunderstorm. Peter was visiting his grandmother and Remus had his furry little problem. he glanced at Sirius who just shrugged his shoulders. James grabbed his wand and cautiously made his way towards the door.

When James opened the door he was completely baffled by what he saw. Standing there was Lily Evans, soaking wet and looking as if she had just tried to tame a wild hippogriff.

"Lily What happened? What's wrong?" James frantically asked her.

"Can I come in?" Lily mumbled, looking down at her shoes.

"Yes, of course." He moved out of the way to let her through the door before closing it behind her.

"Hey Prongs, who was at the door.." Sirius's voice trailed off when he caught sight of Lily. At the sound of his voice Lily glanced up, only then did James noticed the tear tracks, puffy red eyes, and worst of all the bright red hand print on here check. Sirius also noticed, but before James had a chance to ask what happened he blurted out, "bloody hell Evans, what the fuck happened to you?"

Lily tried to answer but it was too much and all the tears she had been holding in came pouring out. James reached out and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face in his shoulder and let the tears fall. After several minutes Lily began to calm down and her sobs turned into hiccups.

James gently lifted her up into his arms and carried her to the nearest couch. After setting her down on the couch, he turned to Sirius. "Go make some tea," James commanded.

"Why me? I'm not a house elf and besides you are the one who can cook"

"Yes. But unlike you, I'm less likely to make Lily cry again. So you get to make the tea."

"fine. I'll make the tea, but I'm doing this for Lily. Not You. And I will not be wearing an apron." With that Sirius left for the Kitchens. Lily couldn't help but smile at the thought of Sirius, who sometimes referred to himself as the "manliest most handsome beast to ever walk Hogwart's halls" in a frilly maid outfit. James turned back towards Lily, only to find her standing behind him.

"I'm sorry for bothering you and just showing up like this. I should go. I'm sorry for inconveniencing you like this." she tried to stand up and leave but James grabbed her arm.

"Lily, stop. You are neither a bother nor an inconvenience. Now please sit down and tell me what's wrong so I can help you."Lily silently nodded her head and sat back down on the couch. She told him about the fight with Petunia and how a simple argument had become the biggest fight to go down between them. She told him about her sister slapping her, at this James had to use all his restraint to keep from cursing Petunia with every bad word he knew. She told him about how she was forced to use magic which only made things worse. At some point Sirius had returned, poured them all tea and sat down in an arm chair across from the couch James and Lily were sitting on. He took out a flask out of his pocket and poured some firewhiskey into his cup. Lily stared at him for a second before she stuck her cup out for him to do the same with hers. When Sirius just sat there staring at her, she quickly got Impatient. She reached across the coffee table, grabbed the flask right out of his hands and took a large sip from it.

"what?" Lily asked when she saw both boys staring at her.

"Well I guess there is a first time for everything" Sirius said with a shrug.

"This is not the first time I've had a drink. Ask Marlene. I'm usually the first one drunk at sleepovers." The look of utter shock and utter bewilderment on their faces made Lily giggle.

"I guess you're not as big of a goody-two-shoes as I thought you were"

"There is a lot that you don't know about me."

"Care to elaborate?"

Lily was silent for a moment before she went on. "One of the first times I ever did magic, I was on the swings at the park swinging as high as I could and then I jumped off and let myself fly through the air. That's when my accidental magic kicked in and rather than falling and hurting myself I slowly floated to the ground." She said with a smile on her face. " I used to make flowers bloom in my palm and send then smoothly sailing through the air. Petunia hated it. She always hated my magic. She would always tell on me and Severus if we did something…'freakish.' Well not much has changed actually," Lily stated.

"wait, you knew snape before Hogwarts?" James asked.

"Yeah. When did you think we had met?" James just shrugged.

"He saw me playing with the flowers and making them bloom and he figure out that I was a witch. He was the one who told me all about Hogwarts and magic."

James let that sink in for a moment. It all made sense now. He used to wonder what Lily saw in him and why she would put up with him. Now he was beginning to understand. Snape was the one who explained who she was, he was her connection the magical world and her first friend in it.

"Did you know that when I asked him if it mattered that I was muggleborn, he said no. I used to think that he actually was okay with my blood status, but now, to him I'm just another mudblo- "

"NO!" James cut her off. " Never call yourself that Lily. Never you hear me?" James almost yelled at her. "Promise me. Lily promise me."

Lily was a little taken aback. "I promise."

They were all quiet for a minute before Lily spoke again. "In this world people hate me because I'm muggleborn, and to them that means I'm not magic enough. And then there is my sister hates me because I have magical blood. Because I'm a freak."

" well if you're a freak, then I guess we that makes me and Prongs freaks too." Sirius said gravely. " alert the Daily Prophet, 'the world's most handsome man is a freak." And with that Lily could no longer keep it together, and burst out laughing.

"This is no laughing matter" said James, "didn't you hear what he just said? I'm a freak.

"I guess that also means that McGonagall is a freak, and Dumbledore's a freak. There is an entire world full of us magical freaks."

"Well even if your sister does hate you, we don't" Sirius said. "Hell Prongsie practically worships the ground you walk on. There was one time in fifth year when he couldn't stop talking about how nice you hair smelled. And then there was the time when he talked non-stop about your ' beautiful green eyes.' And then there was the time with the jeans, and how they- " but James cut him off before he finished the sentence.

"we get the point Padfoot!"

"I want to know. What jeans? What happened?"

Sirius went on to tell her many embarrassing stories about James. After every story, James would steal a glance Lily to see if was mad, but every time she was either laughing or even blushing. Lily forgot all about the fight with her sister. She spent the rest of the night laughing and joking with the two boys.

When Lily woke up the next morning, it took her a minute to register where she was. Slowly, everything started coming back. The fight with Petunia, arriving at Potter Manor, Sirius not wanting to wear an apron and the hours of laughing and teasing. But as Lily looked around the room she was in, she had no idea where she was or how she got there. This room was more than twice the size of her room at home. It had deep red walls, which were covered in quidditch posters. The bed she was currently sitting up in was a queen sized bed with red and gold curtains. Then she noticed the couch across the room that was currently occupied by a sleeping James Potter. Lily crawled out of the bed and went to look at the clock on the dresser across the room. She was distracted by the sight of the photograph on the wall. It was a picture of James as a Baby in his mother's arms.

"I really was cute wasn't I?" James said in her ear. At the sound of his voice, Lily jumped and dropped the picture. James reached a hand out and caught the picture before I hit the floor. Lily jokingly hit his arm, "don't do that." James just grinned at her.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"good, but how did I end up in your bed?"

"You fell asleep last night on the couch and I didn't want you to have a sore neck from sleeping on the couch so I brought you up here."

"Correct me if I'm wrong. You carried me up two flights of stairs and through this giant house and slept on the couch so that I could have your bed all because you didn't want me to be in pain the next morning?" Lily asked.

James ran a hand through his hair, something he always did when he was nervous. "yeah" he said quietly, half worried that she might yell at him. Ever since the incident at the Lake, James and stopped asking her out. He didn't flirt with her, when he could help it and just tried to be strictly friends. He waited for the lecture to begin, but Lily had a different plan. she thought that what he did was one of the sweetest things someone had ever done for her. Before she had a chance to change her mind, she leaned forward and kissed him. James was so surprised that it took him a seconds before he kiss her back. After a minute or so, she pulled away from and looked up at him.

"what was that for" he asked.

"I don't know just something I've wanted to do for a while," Lily responded with a shrug. The smile that Spread across his face was one of the biggest smiles that Lily had ever seen. She soon realized that the smile had turned into his infamous grin, the one that almost always means trouble. Suddenly, his lips were on hers and once again they were kissing. But unlike the last kiss this one was fierce and almost desperate. James had one hand tangled in her hair while the other rested on her hip. Unconsciously her hands began to make their way up his toned chest and into his messy hair. James's lips traveled from her mouth to her jaw and slowly made their way down her neck. Lily couldn't take it anymore, she pulled his mouth back to hers. The height difference was slowly starting to become annoying so James bent down and lifted Lily up onto the dresser. Lily wrapped her legs around his waist in an attempt to be closer to him. They continued like that for several minutes before the desperate kisses turned into gentle loving ones. Lily unhooked her legs from around his waist James helped her down .

"I would have kissed you sooner if I had know it would have been like that," Lily said softly.

"You thought I was going to be a bad kisser?"

"No of course not. I just meant" Lily quickly tried to explain. Then she noticed the Impish grin on James's face. "o, you little.." unable to come up with a good insult, she settled for just slapping his arm. James just smiled, kissed her forehead, turned around and walk out of the room. For a second, Lily just stood there staring at the place where James used to be, before she hurriedly followed him.

Sirius was in the kitchen eating breakfast, when James walked in with one of the biggest smiles on his face. Suddenly Lily burst through the kitchen door then quickly stopped when she saw the two boys staring at her. It was then that Sirius noticed that they both had very messy hair and slightly swollen lips and that Lily's shirt has ridden up several inches on her stomach. He looked from James's huge grin to Lily's blush and disheveled appearance and then it hit him.

"So you guys finally snogged?"

"What makes you think that?" Lily looked like she had just been caught stealing cookies. James took one look at Lily's expression and started laughing.

"Well the messy hair, the swollen lips, and the fact that I can see your stomach, which is a first. And I also know what Prongs's just snogged hair looks like. I mean over the years you start to be able to tell the difference between the different versions on his messy hair. There is the morning hair, the quidditch hair, the nervous hair, the snogged hair and the sex hair and-" but James cut him off. "We get the point now shut up before I hex you." It was then that Sirius noticed the almost hurt look on Lily's face and the angry one on James's. the he realized what he had said. "Look I'm really sorry guys I didn't mean, I wasn't thinking. I –."

"Can you leave?" James asked. "Look I just to talk to Lily alone," he said quieter. Sirius got up and left the kitchen. James turned back towards Lily, who was standing across the table from him. "Are you okay? I'm really sorry about what Sirius said."

"Don't apologize. It's not as if I didn't know that you have dated and slept with other people. You should hear some of the girls at school, it's all they talk about. "

"Lily," James walked around the table and stood in front of her, "Does it bother you that I've slept with other people? that I'm not a virgin?"

"No. Not really. I don't know. maybe?" Lily didn't know if it bothered her or not.

"can i ask you something?" Lily nodded her head. "You don't have to answer, but are you?" James asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. I am. I just never found someone that was right? I don't really know why it just-"she looked down at her feet feeling sort of embarrassed.

"Lily you don't have to explain." with one hand he lifted her chin up, "Hey. Look at me. You don't need to be embarrassed. It's just me and I'm not going to judge you."

"I know. It's just… does it bother you?"

"What?"

"I said. Does it bother-" James cut her off before she could finish.

"I know what you said, but I think it's a crazy question." James held up his hand to keep Lily from interrupting. "Let me finish. I think it's a crazy question because of course it doesn't bother me. Weather or not you are a virgin doesn't change the way I feel about you Lily. In fact it makes me like you more. Many of the girls that I know treat sex like it's nothing. They hand it out to almost anyone who will accept it and to them it's nothing more that a tool to get what they want. The fact that it means something more to you, means something to me. I want you to know that I will never push you into doing something that you're not ready for or that makes you uncomfortable."

"Thank you." That was all Lily said before she leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was short and sweet. And after about a minute they pulled apart.

"Now how about some breakfast. I'm hungry"said James. He bent down and kissed her head before walking over to the table that was completely covered in every kind of breakfast food known. When James realized that Lily hadn't moved and was just standing there staring at the monstrous pile of food, he felt like he needed to explain. "My mum liked to make breakfast for everyone and not just let all the house elves do all the work, but she got tired of making three breakfasts for Sirius everyday when he kept getting hungry. So now she has the house elves make him some of everything and just makes breakfast for herself and dad." Lily took a seat across the table from James and started to eat.

After about 15 minutes Sirius knocked on the door. "Hey can I come back in?"

"Yeah pads com'on in." when Sirius opened the door, he expected to see Lily and James standing face to face or maybe blushing from being interrupted while snogging, but he did not expect to see them sitting at the table eating. "You're eating my food! Why are you eating my food" he all but yelled. " You know you are supposed to make your own food, not eat mine."

" You keep making Lily upset."

"Well the first time was not entirely my fault and the second time, well yeah that was my fault. Lily I'm really sorry about that. I wasn't thinking. Please don't curse me"

"It's okay Black. I forgive you and I'm not going to curse you, but you do need to learn your lesson so.." And with that Lily pulled out her wand and transfigured his pajamas into a maid outfit complete with a little white frilly hat. James took one look at Sirius and started laughing and didn't stop until he could no longer breath. The entire time Sirius just stood there with a disbelieving look on his face. Which just made the other two laugh harder.