Written for the livejournal community saiyuki-time, for the prompt "post coital", time limit one hour.
Hakkai lay next to Gojyo on the bed, still and silent. He might have been a statue. Even his body seemed cold to the touch, except for damp patches where Gojyo's sweat had trickled onto his back. The minutes stretched by, endless, as Gojyo waited.
He was no stranger to lying in bed naked, but he felt strangely exposed, and filthy. His hair trailed across the pillow like the bloody evidence of some crime. Not so long ago, Hakkai had been running his fingers through it, and his mouth had pressed against Gojyo's neck, and after only a few broken, whispered assurances their clothing had been shed and scattered on the ground. When it was over, Gojyo had noticed the pile, and had half-expected Hakkai to leap out of bed to fold it.
Gojyo had never struggled with pillow talk. Speech had always come without thought, smooth, effortless and meaningless. It did not happen often, but even apologizing for bad sex—uncomfortable as it might—was not difficult for him. But now, when words mattered, 'I'm sorry I fucked you, even though you said you wanted me to' hardly seemed adequate.
So instead, he rolled out of bed and made his best attempt at folding Hakkai's clothing. He put it on a chair near the bed, where Hakkai would see it if he only turned around, and went to get a beer. Finally, exhausted and numb from the alcohol, he sprawled out on the couch and fell into a fitful sleep. He could always hope that Hakkai would have forgotten about it by the morning, or think it had all been some sort of sick dream.
He woke at the sound soft footsteps. Hakkai stood in front of the full-length mirror in the corner, still naked. One hand traced the scar that stretched across his stomach, while the other rested on the limiter cuffs on his ear.
"Gonou…" he whispered. "I'm sorry." He was shivering.
Gojyo rose, and draped a blanket over his shoulders. Hakkai turned, but he seemed to stare at something that Gojyo could not see.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "Everything I touch dies, you know."
Gojyo led Hakkai to the couch. They sat there wrapped in the blanket to ward off the chill of the early morning air. When the sun started to rise, Gojyo dared to hope that it might not be the end after all.