I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter

The death Eaters are in a meeting with Voldemort to try to devise another evil plan

"We have a problem my followers. Do you know what that problem is?"

"We ran out of custard cream biscuits?"

"NO! Idiot we have not run out of custard cream biscuits!"

A sigh of relief

"Keep guessing"

"Urrm, we missed the bin men again?"

"Wormtail, what day does the bin men come?"

"Every Thursday my Lord"

"DAMN IT! What's the point of being evil if I keep missing the Bin men?"

"There, There Mr V. Perhaps next week my sweet"

"My lord, I think our uniforms are the problem. They do nothing for my complexion. I mean black is not in anymore, the new black is green."

"Avery, we are not going running around looking like little pixies! Pixies are not at all evil!"

"Well Lucius, I don't think that's true. I had a little incident with one once. It was terrible. It beat me at netball! It was smaller then me as well"

everyone sniggers. Voldemort is loosing his temper

"Argh, our plans suck!"

"What do they suck my lord?"

"I never knew plans could suck. Did you?"

"Me neither"

"SHUT UP! Now we need to think of a better plan to Kill the potter boy and rule the world! Any suggestions?"

"Oh I could put him in a nice little pie?"

"Bella, do I look like some demon barber guy?"

"Well, with a little bit of hair and some plastic surgery you can"

"BELLA!"



"My Lord, I have a plan"

"Oh god no. Not you Wormtail!"

"We could lure him into a cage with lots of sweets and then we can trap him in there"

"Argh! We are NOT child catchers!"

"Oh but I thought we were"

"why do I hang around with such morons! Why couldn't I have intelligent evil minions?"

"I have a great idea!"

"Finally, someone who never fails me. What is it Lucius?"
"We go Into Hogwarts with a big band of us yeah?"

"Yes. Carry on. I like it so far"

"and then we round everyone up in the great hall yeah"

"Oh more give me more!"

"And then, we break out the twister mat, some music and snacks and have us all a good time!"

"Oh yes! WHAT! No! Argh, IDIOTS! I need a drink! Wormtail, fetch the Vodka!"

"B-b-b-but My l-l-l-lord. There is none. You drank it all last night at your evil dark lords convention"

"ARGH! I quit!"

"My Lord, if you're quitting, can we go play twister?"

"Left hand Green, Right foot yellow!"

"I want my mummy!".