Don't Piss off the Prince Ch. 3
A Digimon Fanfic
Much ado about dueling and former organizations.
(If you think this chapter is almost too stupid to exist, please say so!)
Recap: The Princesses of the digital world were supposed to choose their princes, but something unfortunate happened. One princess ran from the palace, and was found by the princes, who did not know who she was. At this time, The Author, Prince Ash, along with his little brother Prince Tucker, had to step in, and stop chaos from happening, all because Ash had to go to the bathroom while writing. (Not said in first chapter, but implied to a degree.) Now, with one of the princes in Burgerland, (see ch. 2) and Prince Tucker's partner Digimon robbing every pastry shop for five hundred miles, and Ash's laptop being able to change the world, our story continues.
The day began normally for the Princes, except for Prince Henry falling off a tower, and breaking a leg, along with a drastic shortage of bacon, it was otherwise normal, excepting the fact that some Princesses like watching Princes sleep. "How late are they going to sleep for?" asked Princess Mimi. "Mimi," said Princess Sora, "They've been up for hours training." Suddenly, Prince Michael walked in, wearing only his boxers. Princess Mimi fainted. Princess Sora just looked away. Prince Michael just shrugged and walked out. "I'll never understand women." He said as he walked out.
In the Royal Mess hall…
After breakfast, (and yet another trip to the hospital) the next date was announced. "Princess Mimi and Prince Michael!" called out Angewomon. "While this is happening, what will we do?" asked Prince Tai. Prince Ash thought for a second, and then spoke up. "I HAVE AN IDEA!" he shouted, if not intentionally. "Let's have a jousting match or a war game!" Prince T.K. spoke up right about then. "A war game? What's that?" Prince Ash suddenly brought up some video feed from his computer, and hooked it up to a nearby Plasma screen TV. "YouTube. Best vid site in the whole Digital data files." He said. They all watched, and saw several Digimon, called up from figures, arose on a battlefield. "That looks suspiciously like you Ash." said Princess Rika. "I think it is." Piped up Princess Kari. Ash nodded. "This is a program I made called The Virus Wars, and it's about millions of Kuramon attacking and plugging the networks." They then watched it, but it was long. Several of the Princes wanted to try it, and so they did. After it all, (and it was 4 hours long...) Prince Tai suggested that they save it to the computers. "But what should we call it?" asked Prince Matt. "How about Our War Game?" said Prince T.K. Everyone thought for a second, and then Prince Tai answered. "No, I think that's been done..." Prince Ash shrugged. Then it was the Princesses turn to think up something to do. (And of course, it was going to be embarrassing...) Princess Sora suggested a play, and, of course, the Princes had no say in it. "Let's but on a Spanish play!" squealed all the girls in unison. Prince Ken walked out, and Princess Yolei had to drag him back. Here are the parts they got.
The cast of La Crazyblés
Princess Kari: The town's popular girl, Cassandra
Princess Yolei: Jenny, the vacationing student
Princess Sora: Annette, the caretaker of Cassandra
Princess Rika: Jonny, the town's head cop (she had no complaints.)
Princess Zoe: Danni, maid in Cassandra's manor
Prince Tai: Diego, a suitor of Annette, and Rival of Ricardo.
Prince Matt: Ricardo, the other suitor of Annette, and rival of Diego.
Prince T.K.: T Diddy, resident pimp, (no, wait, that's incorrect.)
Correction: Thomas, leader of the football team.
Prince Ken: Fernando, the resident emo/heartthrob.
Prince Davis: Romero, captain of the Soccer team.
Prince Ash: Mario, the mysterious man + Narrator.
Prince Takuya: Cameron, the cameraman.
Prince Ryo: The doctor
And several Digimon as the thieves and random parts.
(No, this will really happen. Try to imagine the costumes.)
And so it began…
Scene 1: Taking care in these fine streets..
Jenny: Oh dear, I think my trip to Russia dropped me off some where else. (She's in Madrid, Spain)
(Suddenly, shots ring out!)
Jenny: Holy crap! What was that?
(Enter Jonny.)
Jonny: Damn thieves! Get for asses back here! (Fires off more shots, and hits a criminal.)
(Enter the doc)
Doc: Oh Jonny, you shot another one to death. Now I have to clean this up.
(Jonny spits into the street.)
Jonny: Eh, what the hell do I care? He tried to feel me up.
(The Doc stares blankly.)
Doc: You're a guy.
Jonny: Sez you. I think he was a homo.
(Doc backs away.)
Jenny: Well, I guess this is an interesting place.
(Enter Fernando.)
Sasuke :( Got to correct that…) Does anyone have a knife? (He then walks up to a vendor.)
(Jenny stares longing at him.)
Jenny: (Whispers) Who is that?
Doc: Oh, him? That's Fernando, the resident emo.
(Jenny faints in light of his supposed hotness.)
Doc: Oh great, another patient.
(Fernando comes over.)
Fernando: Can I help? (Holds a knife in his hands.)
Doc: Um sure, just take her to your house ok?
Fernando: Gladly. (Drags her away by her legs.)
Doc: What have I done? (Shakes his head.)
Jonny: Doomed her to suffer?
(Lights dim.)
(Mario, in a traveling cloak, appears on stage.)
Mario: And so, young Jenny was taken to Fernando's house. But what awaited her was what she least expected. BoBo-Bo was there. Not really.
Scene 2 Dueling and a attempt at fooling.
(Jenny wakes up on a sofa.)
Jenny: Where am I?
(Enter Annette and Danni.)
Annette: Oh, look Danni! She's awake!
Danni: Yippee. Did he really have to drop her there?
Jenny: Drop me where?
Danni: On a sofa over the viper pit. (Points down.)
Jenny: Holy !
(Faints and nearly falls in, but is rescued by a strange guy.)
Thomas: Name's Thomas, and since I'm a football legend, I can catch anything!
(Romero runs in)
Romero: Oh yeah? Since I'm a soccer star, I can kick anything!
(Kicks him in the face.)
Odd voice: Boys! Stop fighting!
(Ricardo and Diego enter.)
Diego: Yeah guys, stop fighting.
Ricardo: Hey, that's what I said!
Diego: I know that!
Ricardo: Shut up you !
Annette: Shut up both of you! (Jumps between them and kicks them in the nuts.)
(Both crumple and fall on the ground.)
Diego: MY LITTLE DIEGOS!
Ricardo: I think I'm bleeding….
Annette: Humph.
Cameron: Um, that was not in the script.
Mario: Who cares? Unscripted things are the best.
"Like this!" and the nearest window shattered. Several people in black cloaks with red clouds jumped onto the stage. "The Akatsuki." Prince Ash said with malice in his voice. "Yes Ash, or should I call you, Ashkatsuki!" cried out Sasori. "I left you guys years ago after you started killing. We were supposed to be a videogame store crew!" Ash replied. There was a pause. A very long pause. "You didn't need to tell them that." Whispered Itachi. "Yeah." Said Kisame. "We want you to take over again. We don't want to be run by a cursed fruit horse!" "You are thinking of Gonfald the sky knight's horse right?" Ash asked. 'That horse's name is Pierre. Not Pein!" Kisame just stayed quiet. "Simple mistake." said Deidara. Meanwhile, all the Princes and Princesses were drinking some soda and eating White Castles. Zetsu was trying to eat Patamon. Suddenly, another window was crashed into. Angewomon stood up. "How many things are going to break in the castle today?" As she said this, the kitchen ignited, the tower fell over, a dragon burned the moat mechanism, and the royal mess hall pillars collapsed. "There's your answer. Kingdom Hearts." said the window crashers leader. "Org. XIII!" cried out Princess Kari. "Yep." Nodded Prince Ash. "I used to see them a lot back when Tucker was with them." The room was silent. "He was one of them?" Prince Tai said weakly, pointing at them. "Yep." Said a voice. "Xerkuct, wielder of the leafy rope javelin." And Prince Tucker walked out from behind Zexion, who was reading Make-out Paradise. "Whoa." Everyone but the Akatsuki and Prince Ash gasped. (And Org. XIII of course.) "Wait!" cried out Angewomon. Larxene shocked her. "Quiet for a second." And kicked her. "We cannot battle here," said Xemnas, "(Kingdom Hearts) the Rules dictates that in a case of multiple group melee, a karaoke party must be called, followed by a Pokémon battle and a wrestling match." Then he folded his arms. "WHAT THE HELL?!" shouted Princess Rika.
First song! Poor Unfortunate Hearts! Sung by Marluxia! (Oh dear…)
Parody of Poor Unfortunate Souls.
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch
But you'll find that nowadays
I've mended all my ways
Repented, seen the light and made a switch
True? Yes
And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately, please don't laugh
I use it on behalf
Of the miserable, lonely and depressed
(Pathetic)
Poor unfortunate hearts
In pain
In need
This one longing to be bolder
That one wants to tell the truth
And do I help them?
Yes, indeed
Those poor unfortunate hearts
So sad
So true
They come flocking to my flowers,
Crying, "Emotions Marly please!"
And I help them?
Yes, I do
Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross my scythe
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate hearts
Come on, your poor unfortunate heart
Go ahead!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman (Maybe.)
And I'm definitely not gay.
It won't cost much
Your poor unfortunate Heart
It's sad
But true
If you want to cross a bridge, my sweet
You've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and Seal the deal!
Xigbar, Vexen, now I've got them, boys
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate heart!
And the scores: Digi: 8/10 Org 13: 8/10, Akat: 3/10
"You're biased Itachi!" shouted Princess Kari. "TTHHHP!" was his reply.
Next song! Devils! Sung by Mister Devil Himself, Tobi! (Wait…)
Parody of "Angels"
Fiery devil, I believe
You were my tempter, in my time of need.
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.
I see the devils,
I'm lead to your door.
There's no escape now,
No mercy no more.
No remorse cause I still remember
The grin when you tore me apart.
You took my soul,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You tricked me and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Fiery Devil, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the horns above your eyes?
I see the devils,
I'm lead to your door
There's no escape now
No mercy no more
No remorse cause I still remember
The grin when you tore me apart
You took my soul,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You tricked me and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
I could have lived forever.
Now I have reached my death.
This world may have failed me,
It didn't give the reason why.
You could have chosen a different path in life.
The grin when you tore me apart.
You took my soul,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You tricked me and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
I could have lived forever.
Now I have reached the end.
"WOOT!" cried everyone that was in the Akatsuki. And some of the Digimon heroes.
Scores: Digi: 9/10 Org 13: 8/10 Akat:5/10
"We didn't like his song that much." said Sasori. Tobi cried in the corner.
Suddenly, Calumon jumped out from Prince Tucker's cloak and said that he was going to sing. "I'm going to sing now!" Then he jumped up on stage in a cloak and half a mask.
Suddenly, a backdrop and a bakery display case appeared. "Did you have anything to do with this?" asked Princess Kari. Prince Ash smiled.
Phantom of the Bakery sung by Calumon.
Sweet Roll:
In sleep he sang to me,
In dreams he came.
That voice which calls to me,
And licks his lips
And do I dream again?
For now I find,
The Phantom of the Bakery is here,
Outside the case.
Phantom:
Sing once again with me,
Our strange duet.
My hunger for you,
Grows stronger yet.
And though you look up to me,
To glance above.
The Phantom of the Bakery is there,
outside the case .
Sweet roll:
Those who have seen your face,
Draw back in fear.
It's the frosting you wear.
Phantom:
It's me they fear.
Sweet Roll (Phantom):
my (your) spirit and my (your) hunger,
In one combined.
The Phantom of the Bakery is here (there)
Inside my (your) mind
Offstage:
He's there, the Phantom of the Bakery!
Beware, The Phantom of The Bakery!
Phantom:
In all your fantasies
you always knew
that Carlos and Bob
Sweet Roll:
Were eaten by you.
Sweet Roll: I'm in this labyrinth
where night is blind
the Phantom of the bakery is (there) here
outside the case
Phantom:
Sing my Angel of Sugar
Sweet Roll:
He's there, The Phantom of the Bakery!
Phantom:
Sing!
Phantom:
Sing for me!
Phantom:
Sing my angel of sugar!
Phantom:
SING FOR ME!
Phantom:
I have brought you,
To my mouth of sweet foods end.
To this kingdom where all must pay homage to sugar,
sugar.
You have come here.
For one purpose and one alone.
Since the moment I first heard you sing,
I have needed you with me to serve me, for I was hungry,
For my hunger.
My hunger.
CHOMP.
"How tragic." Sniffled Princess Sora.
Hopefully the final song: Can you feel the hate tonight? Parody of Can you feel the love tonight?
Sung by Prince Davis and Veemon!
D: See what's happening?
V: No, what?
D: And they don't have a clue
V: Who is it?
D: They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line, my coolness is down to two.
V: Oh. Gotcha. It was higher than that?
D: The sweet caress of twilight
There's magic everywhere
And with all this romantic atmosphere
V: Disaster's in your singing..
D and V: Can you feel the hate tonight?
The malice the evening brings
The world for once in imperfect harmony
With all its living things.
V: Because Davis started singing..
D: So many things to tell her
But how to make her see
The truth about my past, impossible
She'd turn away from me
V: Like how you wet your bed..
D: HEY!
D: She's holding back, she's hiding
But what, I can't decide
Why won't she be the queen I know she is?
V: The queen you see inside will be easier..
D and V: Can you feel the hate tonight?
The malice the evening brings
The world, for once, in imperfect harmony
With all its living things.
V: Because you saw Kari with T.K. and started singing..
D: Can you feel the hate tonight?
I needn't look too far
Stealing through the night's uncertainties
Loving is where they are,
D: And if he feels the hate tonight
In the way I do
It's enough for this restless wanderer,
V: Because T.K. will kill you….
Then the two took a bow. Princess Kari and left awhile back to get a drink, so she didn't know anything that had happened in the song. However, Prince T.K. had. And he was pissed. He leaped up on stage, sword from the play at his waist. "You villainous rouge! You conniving knave!" he shouted, drawing his sword. "A prince with seven fingers on one hand!" gasped Prince Davis, drawing his sword. Prince T.K. looked down. "Holy crap!" he said. "I do have seven fingers!" Prince Ash just smirked, holding his laptop. "My name is Prince Davis Montoya," he said, twirling his sword, "And you stole my girlfriend, prepare to die!" And so the swords crashed, blood flew through the air. And then Princess Kari entered. At this point, not impressed with the play swords carnage, Prince Ash had rewarped the story so that they were dueling with lightsabers. "What the hell is all this?" Princess Kari screeched. "Khgfthfth." Replied Prince Tai, his mouth full of popcorn. He swallowed, and repeated himself. "Lightsaber duel for your love." A swish was heard, and Prince T.K. nearly lost his left arm. "I never stole your girlfriend!" shouted Prince T.K. "She wasn't yours to lose!" Org. 13 and the Akatsuki just sat in the stands drinking soda and eating popcorn. "That's it!" shouted Princess Kari. "I've had enough!" and she leaped towards the two dueling Princes. "Princess!" shouted Angewomon. A blur leaped past her, as she came between the two. "Dedigivolve!" shouted Prince Ash to his partner, Ulforceveedramon. He dedigivolved, and then Prince Ash pulled out a bullet. "Dark Digivolve!" he shouted. "Beelzemon Blast Mode! Stop them!" and he did. One gun in front of each one's faces, they had to stop. "One move," growled BeelzeBM, "And your heads are gone." They both backed down, and Princess Kari slapped them both. "You stupid bastards! I hate you both!" and she broke down into crying. Prince Ash typed something into his laptop, and Prince T.K.'s fingers returned to normal. "Revert." He said to BeelzeBM. He did. Prince Ash put his hand on Princess Kari's shoulder, and glared at the two formerly dueling Princes. (Sorry LordPata, I just didn't want to have T.K. win.) "Angewomon, could you please take Princess Kari out of the drawings? She'll need some time to recover from this." He asked. She nodded. By this time, the Akatsuki and Org. XIII had decided to sleep at the castle for however long the princes would be there for. However, Princess Rika did not approve of this, and asked Prince Ash to make them sleep at the guest castle, 30 miles away.
Back with the current dates…
"This was a great date." said Princess Mimi to Prince Michael. "Yep." He answered. Suddenly, smoke started to pour over the sky line. "I wonder what that is?" Prince Michael. Without warning, Rapidmon, who had preferred this, rather than be on Prince Michael's shoulder, rushed up. "Your highness!" he panted. "It's the castle! Prince Tai's partner accidently digivolved to SkullGreymon and totally owned the castle!" All was silent for a moment. "That can't be all." Said Prince Michael. "Oh yes, Prince Ryo accidently dodged a fire ball, and it hit the gas generator." Said Rapidmon. Princess Mimi fainted. "How much was destroyed?" asked Prince Michael. "The whole north complex detonated." Rapidmon responded. Prince Michael sank to the ground. "Are you serious?" he whimpered. "Majintai!" responded Rapidmon. "Huh?" asked Prince Michael. "Terriermon taught me it. But I think its pronounced Momentai." Replied Rapidmon. "So, you're sure?" asked Prince Michael again. Rapidmon nodded. As he did this, the rest of the castle mushroom clouded behind them. "Oops." Said Rapidmon. "I forgot to mention that all the others digivolved to stop him, so lots of fire was being flung around." A shockwave blew past them, pressing them into the ground. "Ah shit." said Prince Michael before he passed out.
(I promise we are now out of crazy land. I swear it on my fanfictioneers's license.)
Back in the smoking ruin that was the castle…
Smoke billowed from every brick, and ashes covered the area. However Prince Ash had activated a shield the moment the second explosion had ripped. He powered the shield off, and everyone around him collapsed. And so did what was left of the castle. Miraculously, (or just planned) all their belongings, clothes, and everything else that belonged to any of them was untouched. Just the furniture and castle it self was scorched. The Princes got up first, and looked around. Ulforceveedramon surveyed the area, whistling as he gazed upon the ruin. All the other Digimon got up, and a brick hit Hawkmon on the head. Same with most of the others too. Then the Princesses started to cry. Prince Tucker pulled out a burrito that had been nuked by the blast. "Yum. Warm and toasted." He said. Prince Ash slapped him. "There are girls crying within twenty feet of you and all you can do is eat a nuked burrito?" Prince Tucker gulped down some of the burrito. At this moment, the two dating lovebirds appeared at what used to be the mess hall door. Princess Mimi suddenly fainted, for virtually the seventh time this chapter. Prince Ash shook his head. "Time to go to me and Tucker's castle." "Where's that?" asked Princess Zoe. "Between and under those mountains to the east somewhat." He said, pointing to the east. "Your father is king under the mountain?" asked Prince Ryo. "Somewhat, but he's not a dwarf. (Look in The Hobbit for explanation.) And the castle is virtually the mountain itself. So it's big enough." Everyone was quiet for a moment. "What do we have to lose?" remarked Prince Davis. (Prince Henry is in the hospital, so he is out. So is Prince Takato, but he gets to stay with everyone because he is homeless.)
What will happen next? Will they successfully make it to the mountain? Will Prince Kouji return from Burgerland? Find out in the next chapter of DPOP!
Note: Prince Tai or Prince Matt? Which one do you think should get Princess Sora?