Title: The Mystery of Jell-O Blue

Author: Dandelion Lint

Archive: Let me know where. :)

Feedback: Very much appreciated!

Season: Probably anywhere in seasons 1-3. Actually, it could even be anytime before season 6.

Spoilers: Nothing major...besides Carter's Jell-O flavor preferences!

Disclaimer: It all belongs to people who are not me, unfortunately. (MGM, etc.) Or at least, the characters, settings, and other such recognizable things belong to them. The arrangement of words, however, is mine own.

Author's Notes: I am sure Blue Jell-O fanfics have been written before, but I have not found any that are at all similar to mine. In addition, I haven't yet decided whether or not this will be a standalone chapter or if there will be more chapters after this one. I hope this fic is well-liked overall, and I do appreciate feedback of any sort.

Summary: What does Blue Jell-O taste like?

Chapter 1:

The commissary was not crowded. On the contrary, it was nearly empty besides the presence of SG-
1; a few airmen sat in corners drinking coffee and eating stale donuts–stale because it was almost two in the morning–and a nurse was half-asleep at the table next to the team.

SG-1 was still at the SGC because, quite frankly, they had no lives outside of their work, and so had simply never left the day before. Only O'Neill was annoyed, to put it politely. The correct term would probably be more along the lines of 'pissed off because he was obligated to stay out of team spirit, and he really preferred sleeping in his own bed with his own pajamas with pictures of beer cans and fish all over them, thank you very much'. He would have at least gotten to watch a football game if he were at home, he mused, as he stretched his arms above his head and leaned his chair back, the front legs leaving their place on the ground.

As the colonel yawned and looked around at the respective members of his team, he realized that they all must be as bored as he was. Except for Carter. But Daniel was staring blissfully at the steam rising from his fifth cup of coffee, his eyes glazed over in an expression of pure enjoyment. Teal'c was sitting stiffly next to Daniel, hands folded on the table and head tilted slightly to the side, eyeing the cup of coffee with a doubtful expression that meant he wanted to ask a question but wasn't sure he was going to get the answer he was looking for. Carter, of course, was absorbed in some document of probable scientific orientation, eyes bright and intense, face so close to the pages that her nose was almost touching them. Ever so often she would whip out a pen, enthusiastically underline or circle something, and turn the page.

O'Neill slapped his hands on the table and leaned forward, the front legs of his chair crashing back onto the floor. Daniel was jolted out of his reverie and blinked owlishly, trying to decide if he was where he thought he might be. Teal'c slowly turned his head to look at the Colonel, and Carter looked over the top of her scientific document long enough to glare at him.

"O.K., kids!" began the colonel with the beginnings of a mischievous grin on his face, "We are going to talk about something."

Daniel blinked and rubbed his eyes, and Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Carter was suddenly deaf.

"Um." Daniel raised a hand. "Um, talk about what?"

O'Neill beamed at him and nodded. "Good question, great question." Nod, nod. "In fact, since you asked..."

His gaze flickered to a movement at the end of their table. Carter had somehow been hiding a plastic goblet of blue jell-O on her person, and it now made an appearance as an arm darted out from behind the papers shielding her from view and picked up a spoon from the table. The arm proceeded to use the spoon to scoop up a quivering mound of Jell-O, and carefully maneuver it back behind the papers, where it disappeared. The empty spoon and arm reappeared a few seconds later.

O'Neill looked back at Daniel and nodded again, more decisively this time.

"Yes, since you asked, you get to go first. The topic is..." he said as he looked around at the quizzical faces surrounding him (except for Carter), "The topic is the flavor of Carter's Jell-O!"

Daniel blinked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"Jack," began Daniel, "it's blue."

Teal'c said nothing, but his eyebrow inched its way further skyward.

"Daniel. I asked you the flavor."

"Oh. Right. Sorry..."

The spoon appeared over the top of the scientific papers, absentmindedly being waved in the air.

"It tastes blue," said the spoon, in Carter's voice. "I should know."

"Jack..." began Daniel hesitantly, "why don't we talk about something else..." he trailed off as he realized he was on the receiving end of an irritated glare.

"I believe it is possible that the flavor could be Blue Raspberry." cut in the deep and overly patient voice of Teal'c.

"However, I have not seen pictures of raspberries that are blue. Therefore, I must question the validity of the source from which I learned that this is a flavor." He paused for a moment, a thoughtful expression covering his face while his teammates (except Carter) stared at him in open-
mouthed astonishment.

"I have concluded that the Jell-O could only be manufactured out of materials that are naturally blue. Such is the coloring of the blueberry, the bluebell, and the bluefish."

"Bluefish?!"

"Um, Jack? We haven't explained about food coloring, have we..."

Teal'c inclined his head towards Daniel.

"I do not believe you have, Daniel Jackson–"

"Ah!" O'Neill waved a finger in front of the archaeologist's face. "Don't even start, Daniel. We are way off-topic here, kids. Teal'c, it has to be a fruit. No fishes and flowers, okay? And it doesn't necessarily have to be blue, although that helps."

Daniel allowed himself an exasperated sigh before turning towards the scientific papers with his best sad puppy expression in place.

"Sam, can you please just tell them what flavor it is so we can do something else? Please?"

The spoon snuck out and nabbed another heap of Jell-O. There was the sound of a vexed attempt to chew something that wants to be slurped, and then:

"Daniel, I told you. I told them. I told the whole commissary. It's blue Jell-O. It tastes blue. End of story." There was a weighty pause. "And stop looking at the papers like that. It's making them feel sorry for you."

Daniel slumped in his chair and allowed his forehead to drop to the table. Teal'c raised an eyebrow, and if someone looked very closely they would have seen a muscle in his jaw twitching. There was a sigh from the papers and they deflated a little. Then someone slammed them onto the table hard enough to make the Jell-O look like it was trying to run away, and Sam stood up, stalked over to the refrigerated desserts section, and returned with four plastic goblets of blue jiggling matter, which could have been Jell-O if the rest of her team knew better than to believe she would be wasting it on them.

O'Neill stared at the papers. Teal'c seemed to be mesmerized by the contents of his plastic goblet. Daniel had not moved, and if someone looked very closely they would have seen that he was recovering from being near tears. The spoon waved above the papers again.

"Yes, that is blue Jell-O. Now shut up and eat it."

The words were harsh, but there was an undercurrent of amusement. This was good.

"Jack..."

"Yes, I know. 'Do as she says.' Yeah..."

O'Neill cautiously picked up his spoon and dug it into the blue depths. The Jell-O trembled threateningly. He managed to scoop out a chunk of the stuff without dropping it, the spoon, or the goblet, and carefully brought the spoon to his mouth. He chewed. He swallowed. He licked his spoon.

"Tastes blue." he said.

Daniel blinked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. The papers shook with silent laughter.