I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound.
-Apologize by Timbaland
You've made some questionable choices, you won't deny it. Killed hundreds for the lives of thousands. Sacraficed for your own wellbeing. Then you had the audacity to claim it was for the greatest good.
You acknowledge this. Internally. Externally, well that's a different story.
But he can't see it. He never could. You thought he knew, thought he understood but he doesn't. He will never understand and you have to pretend your heart doesn't shatter at this news.
Still, you've made some crumy decisions.
This isn't even in that ballpark. It's so far from it, you can no longer justify it.
So you don't.
You take everything that's thrown at you, and you pretend you're invincible. And boy are you good at pretending.
With pain in your eyes, and your tongue filled with lies, you face your people and you know this is what's right.
You survived space for nearly a hundred years, if anyone can survive in this bunker, it's your people.
It doesn't matter that you had to kill him. Doesn't matter that everything he said was true, that you were irrational.
No.
It's as simple as bang! Dead.
You haven't cried yourself to sleep at all. Nope, no way.
So yeah, you've made some stupid choices, and maybe that's all he's ever tried to tell you, but even if you hear what he says, even if you can't protest against it, you go through with it.
Bellamy Blake was just another bump in the road. You have to tell yourself that every single night.
(you know, every night until you fling yourself into a turbine and are torn to shreds and left for some unlucky person to find, but that's alright because at that point you'll be with him and your sins won't matter anymore.)
where Clarke pulls the trigger, and she doesn't miss. idk I like dark!Clarke aka normal Clarke with an interesting way to justify things.