Sorry!

This is a one shot!

'Sorry' Emily looked down quickly, she hadn't meant to walk into him, she had a lot on her mind, she was distracted and she wasn't looking where she was going.

'Its fine, you don't have to apologise' he said softly.

'Sorry' she said again, she said sorry too often but this time she said sorry for saying sorry before. Emily looked up when she heard his voice, she was surprised at the tone in his voice and she was even more surprised when he put his hand on her arm.

'Are you okay?'

'Yea I'm fine. Sorry I'll get back to work now' Emily said, schooling her features and stepping back, walking away quickly, back to her desk.

The next time Hotch saw Emily he said 'hey' kindly.

Emily smiled politely and said 'hey sorry…'

'Why are you saying sorry now?' Hotch asked, he had started noticing that she kept saying sorry for everything she did, even when she didn't have to.

'In case I was bothering you, I know you were busy…' she said quietly, looking away from his eyes.

'Of course you're not bothering me, sit down, I want to talk to you' he told her.

'Okay…' she said nervously as she went to sit down.

…

Whilst on the plane, Emily sat at the back on her own, she was tired, she sat thinking and she was disappointed in herself for not saving the little girl and bringing her back to her mum and dad so they could take her home.

She apologised to the parents, the words that the mum had said had touched her heart, and deep down she knew that she was right.

'Thank you, thank you anyway for catching the son of a bitch who killed my baby girl, I know you tried' Lorraine said to her sadly.

Emily still felt guilty, she saw the pain in her eyes and said sorry again before leaving.

She said sorry for everything that goes wrong, because she thought she was a disaster. Actually she knew she was. She seemed to mess everything up without even trying, so often so she decided to label herself a disaster.

Emily was sorry for not being good enough, everything she seemed to do was wrong or went badly and she'd end up hurting the people she cared about. After one too many times of her mom telling her to do things right and to stop failing, she decided she wasn't good enough.

Her mom only told her the things she did wrong, no one had ever told her she was good enough. She didn't want to feel sorry for herself because that's not what she did but she would admit to herself it would be good to hear, even if it was just once.

…

A couple of weeks Hotch told her to come round for dinner and she had accepted once he had threatened to make her take at least a week off work.

He had something casual on when he opened the door to let her in, she had leggings and a nice top with a fluffy cardigan on top, her black her falling in loose curls over her shoulders.

'Hey come in' Hotch said, after clearing his throat and taking a step back, she looked beautiful like that.

'Hi'

A couple of hours later!

'I need to speak to you' Hotch said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence that they were sitting in.

Emily's eyes widened and she started getting nervous, those words were never good 'u,pm, what about?'

He could tell that she was nervous so he said 'don't worry it's nothing too serious or anything bad' he started, seeing her relax he sent her a soft smile 'I just want to know why…' He stopped.

'Want to know why? Why what?' Emily asked, confused.

'Why you keep apologising… Because, you've done nothing wrong'

'Sorry…' Emily said automatically.

'See, again with the sorry'

'I was saying sorry for saying sorry' Emily bit her lip.

Hotch smiled slightly and nodded his head 'okay…' As Hotch looked at Emily he could tell she wanted to say something but stopped herself before nodding. The look in her eyes changed too, to something more sad and he frowned, he turn to face her properly and put his hand on her face softly 'are you okay?' He asked, he wanted to know why her eyes looked so sad.

Was it something he said?

Was it something he did?

Emily swallowed but nodded slightly 'yea, I'm fine'

'Did I say something to upset you? You look sad' he said worried, tucking some hair behind her ear.

Shaking her head she shook her head 'no you didn't say anything don't worry'

'Now I'm going to worry' Hotch said seriously.

Emily laughed and then sighed sadly 'don't, it's me, nothing to do with you I promise'

'Okay, do you want to talk about it?' Hotch asked, even if she said no he wasn't going to give her a choice.

'No I'd rather not' Emily looked away from his intense stare.

'Was it the case from a couple of weeks ago?' Hotch asked, he got his answer when she looked back at him. 'It's not your fault Emily'

Emily took a deep, shaky breath and shook her head, disagreeing with him 'it is, I told her mum we'd try to find her and save her…'

'Which is what we tell ALL the victims parents, so what's different with this case?' He asked.

'I just wanted to at least save one of them, bring that little girl back to her mum and dad but that bastard took her away, ruined that chance and I couldn't even do that' Emily said, voicing her frustration and guilt about the case. 'I just didn't want to disappoint them but that was exactly what I did' she added quietly.

Hotch listened to what she was saying and then replied 'it's still not your fault Emily' he reminded her again. 'But this isn't only about the case is it? It's more than that' he started.

'Hotch please don't' Emily kind of begged.

'What is it Emily? You can talk to me you know' Hotch told her.

'I messed up the case and now I'm a mess' Emily whispered.

'You didn't mess up this case Emily and your not a mess' Hotch said.

'Then why does it feel like I did? Why does my heart feel like this?' Emily whispered sounding broken.

'You have to feel like this, your more than that Emily, your more than the voices in your head that tell you, you messed up on the case and disappointed them and your one of the best agents on the team, you're good enough, don't ever think your not and don't ever think you disappoint anyone because you don't' Hotch told Emily, looking her in the eye.

Hearing Hotch's words was Emily's last straw and she bit her lip, the harder she tried not to cry the harder it became to stop the tears. Never had someone's words meant so much to her before. He told her she was good enough, that she was more than the mess in her head and her fragile heart.

After breaking down in Hotch's arms she apologised for making a mess of that too, Hotch let it slide this time, it was a bad habit of hers he would have to help her stop. But for now he was happy that she had told him what was wrong.

In the end Emily learned not to apologise for every single breath she took…