CODENAME: KIDS NEXT DOOR
A fanfic by Numbuh 88
(Based on characters created by Tom Warburton)
NOW LOADING...
KIDS NEXT DOOR MISSION
OPERATION
S.P.A.
Seriously
Perilous
Ablutions
Cast:
Numbuh 1 (Nigel Uno)
Numbuh 2 (Hoagie P. Gilligan Jr.)
Numbuh 3 (Kuki Sanban)
Numbuh 4 (Wallabee "Wally" Beatles)
Numbuh 5 (Abigail "Abby" Lincoln)
DCFDTL (Delightful Children From Down The Lane)
INTERIOR: SECTOR V TREE-HOUSE'S HANGAR
(The C.O.O.L.B.U.S. struggles into the hangar and lands rather roughly. Its door swings open and smoke seeps out, followed by Numbuhs 3, 4 and 5 limping out, groaning in pain.)
NUMBUH 5: Man, why is it that whenever Big Brother an' Wink an' Fibb take over a brick factory we're always the ones who hafta stop 'em?
NUMBUH 4: Well, it could be the fact that we're the nearest sector, but I dunno... Maybe that has nothin' to do with it.
(We then see Numbuh 2, who is still sitting in the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.'s driver's seat.)
NUMBUH 2: Hey, relax you guys! Next thing you know, Numbuh 1's gonna jump out and beg for another mission.
(Numbuh 1 then staggers out the door.)
NUMBUH 1(Moaning): Ooooh, my back! I'll be lucky if I don't wind up crippled!
(Numbuh 1 collapses among Numbuhs 3, 4 and 5 who are all moaning and nursing their backs.)
NUMBUH 2: Yeesh. You don't hear me complaining, do you?
NUMBUH 5: Well, duh! You were flyin' the C.O.O.L.B.U.S. durin' the entire mission!
NUMBUH 3: Ugh! Who cares about that? Doesn't anyone care that my back feels like it's gonna break?
NUMBUH 4: Your back? Mine feels like it's gonna break twice!
NUMBUH 3: Well... My moaning's louder! Ooooooh!
NUMBUH 4: Oh, yeah? OOOOOOOH!
(Numbuh 3 and 4 continue to moan loudly, until Numbuh 1 interrupts.)
NUMBUH 1: All right, guys! I think it's best that we go to bed before the stress drives us all mad!
(Numbuh 2 exits the C.O.O.L.B.U.S.)
NUMBUH 5: Good idea. I don't think even KND-made aspirin is gonna help this!
NUMBUH 3: And my back's gonna need sooooo much Rainbow Monkey love!
NUMBUH 4: I'd pound the pain outta my spine with my fists if I had the energy!
NUMBUH 1: *Sigh* If only I had the time to address these stress issues.
NUMBUH 2: Stress issues... Hmmm...
(The next morning...)
EXTERIOR: SECTOR V TREE-HOUSE- SUNRISE
INTERIOR: TREE-HOUSE CORRIDOR
(Numbuhs 1, 3, 4 and 5 are standing in a wooden hallway, still moaning and nursing their backs, while Numbuh 2 is standing in front of a huge curtain and clutching a rope.)
NUMBUH 1: This better be good, Numbuh 2.
NUMBUH 2: Now, don't worry everyone! In response to the neglected stress issues of the team...
(Nigel, Kuki, Wally and Abby all eye each other quizzically.)
NUMBUH 2: I have built the ultimate solution! I give you... (Hoagie tugs the rope) The Sector V Spa!
(The curtain opens to reveal an enormous room with white tiling on the floors and walls, and three levels with a pair of staircases connecting each one. There is nothing of interest on the floor level. However, on the second level there is a mud bath, with a door on the wall labeled "shower." On the third level there a five massage tables with robot arms and five reclining chairs. On all three levels there are a number of large potted ferns, and on the ceiling there is a chandelier. Numbuhs 1, 3, 4 and 5 all look in astonishment.)
NUMBUH 5: Whoa! Numbuh 2, how'd you manage all this?
NUMBUH 2: Simple, really. This room was abandoned for years since Sector V's previous team got decommissioned. So, yesterday I went to the local salvage yard and got everything I needed to build this fully-automated spa! Plus, I got some of the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s to help out.
NUMBUH 1: Fully-automated? Are you serious?
NUMBUH 2: Sure am! If we'll all change into the proper attire, I'll show you how it works!
(A couple minutes later, Numbuhs 1 through 5 are all wearing white bathrobes with their numbers on them, and Numbuh 3 has a towel wrapped around her hair. They are standing near five changing rooms that have curtains that are labeled 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.)
NUMBUH 2: Now, I've programmed the tree-house's computer to respond to our presence when we enter, and all of the spa's device's will be ready to activate!
NUMBUH 1: Hm... There's a lot to choose from. Where to start?
NUMBUH 5: Oh, let's let Numbuh 2 choose! He built all this, so it's only fair.
NUMBUH 2: Great! We'll start with the sauna.
(We then cut to the steam room, where Numbuhs 1 through 5 are all wearing towels and sitting on platforms. They are also sweating profusely, yet appear comfortable.)
NUMBUH 2: Y'see, the sauna has a sensor which detects when the room needs more steam, and does exactly that!
(A colander attached to the ceiling releases steam into the room.)
NUMBUH 3: Wow! This is like that bath-house my parents are always talking about!
NUMBUH 4: I don't see what's so appealing about this. It's so darn humid!
NUMBUH 2: Well, the humidity is makes leaving the sauna feel good! Look, I'll show you what I mean...
(Everyone exits the sauna, and Numbuhs 1, 2, 3 and 5 suddenly feel the rush of cool air on their sweat, giving them a pleasant chill. Numbuh 4, however, starts screaming.)
NUMBUH 4: AAAAAAUGH! Now it's too cold!
NUMBUH 2: Well, then. I got just the remedy for that! (To everyone) Right this way!
(We now see the kids in a mud bath. Their bathrobes are on a nearby bench, proof that they are nude. Each of them, except Wally, appear contented.)
NUMBUH 2: Now, the mud bath has a sensor that knows when the mud needs to heated.
(Sure enough, the mud starts to bubble and Numbuhs 1, 2, 3 and 5 sigh with contentment.)
NUMBUH 4: Mud? Are you kidding me? I feel like a pig!
NUMBUH 2: Ah, don't be such a stick in the mud, Numbuh 4! (Laughs loudly, but Numbuh 5 groans.)
NUMBUH 5: If Numbuh 5 wasn't so relaxed, she'd throw some mud in yo' face!
(Abby suddenly notices that Hoagie already has mud on his face.)
NUMBUH 2: Thanks, but I already got it covered! (Laughs) Plus, it sorta enhances the experience.
(Numbuh 5 looks at the mud and splats a handful in her face, and appears to agree with Numbuh 2.)
(A little later...)
(Numbuhs 1 through 5 are now lying on their stomachs on massage tables and have towels covering their backsides. The massage tables have robotic arms and are giving backrubs to the kids.)
NUMBUH 1: Wow, Numbuh 2! This is doing wonders for even my back!
NUMBUH 2: Yeah! I made the arms out of a special rubber that imitates human skin, able to soothe even the tiniest aches and pains!
NUMBUH 4(Voice vibrating from massage): Man, a simple pat on the back would have been enough!
NUMBUH 3: C'mon, Wally! A pat on the back couldn't do this...
(Kuki sighs contentedly, but Wally just grumbles.)
(A few minutes later...)
(The Kids Next Door are lying on reclining chairs in their bathrobes, and W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s are applying mud mask and cucumber slices to their faces. Another W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T. is filing Numbuh 3's nails.)
NUMBUH 5: This ain't bad, but suppose Numbuh 5 gets the munchies while lyin' here?
NUMBUH 2: No problem!
(Hoagie claps his hands twice and a W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T. wheels over to Abby with a tray of gumdrops. She lifts the cucumber slice over her left eye and notices.)
NUMBUH 5: Nice! (She takes a few gumdrops and eats them.)
NUMBUH 4: So... we just lie here with this crud on our faces?
NUMBUH 2: Well... yeah. The whole reason I built this spa was for relaxation.
NUMBUH 3: Yeah! We totally needed this!
(Numbuhs 1, 2, 3 and 5 sigh contentedly, but Numbuh 4 remains annoyed.)
NUMBUH 4: AAARGH! I can't take this anymore! It's so... BORING!
NUMBUH 2: What d'you mean, "boring?"
NUMBUH 4: All we ever do in this cruddy spa is lie around in little to no clothing and wash ourselves in steam and slime! It's so cruddy dull!
NUMBUH 1: Dull or not, Numbuh 4, I have to agree with Numbuh 3. We did need this addition to the tree-house!
NUMBUH 4: But...
NUMBUH 1: Which is why I'm establishing a spa day! Every Sunday at... 1:00pm we will all take at least an hour to enjoy what this spa has to offer. On other days we will use this room at our own leisure.
NUMBUH 2: Great!
NUMBUH 3: Yay!
NUMBUH 5: Sounds like a plan!
NUMBUH 4: I don't believe this...
(Numbuh 4 puts his face in his palm, and suddenly realizes he still had his mud mask on. He exclaims disgustedly and attempts to shake the mud off his hand. We then see one of the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s turning around to look at the kids, and we now see a dark room with a monitor showing the kids and a silhouette of the Delightful Children From Down The Lane appears.)
DCFDTL: Excellent! Everything's going as we planned! (They laugh)
(The next day...)
EXTERIOR: SECTOR V TREE-HOUSE- MORNING
INTERIOR: SECTOR V SPA
(Numbuh 2 exits his changing room in his bathrobe, when he is surprised to see Numbuhs 1, 3 and 5 exiting their changing rooms as well in their bathrobes. Numbuh 3 once again has a towel wrapped around her hair.)
NUMBUH 2: So! Couldn't get enough, huh?
NUMBUH 1: Indeed not! You've done us proud, Numbuh 2!
NUMBUH 5: Of all your creations, Numbuh 2, this is is Numbuh 5's favorite!
(Numbuh 4 suddenly emerges from his changing room, looking aggravated.)
NUMBUH 2: Wow, you too, Numbuh 4?
NUMBUH 4: Absolutely not! I'm only here because... (Shrugs) because Numbuh 3 begged me.
(Numbuh 3 giggles.)
NUMBUH 2: Well, knock yourselves out, everyone!
(Everyone rushes to the first level while Numbuh 4 unenthusiastically follows. Suddenly, the lights start to flicker and a large TV screen crashes through the ceiling. The TV shows the DCFDTL.)
DCFDTL: Greetings, Kids Next Door!
NUMBUH 1: The Delightful Children! What's this all about?
DCFDTL: We're so glad you asked! We see you're all ready to enjoy what our spa has to offer!
NUMBUH 2: Your spa? I'm the one who built it!
DCFDTL: True, but dear Hogarth failed to mention who he got the parts from!
(A flashback starts...)
EXTERIOR: SALVAGE YARD
(Numbuh 2 is seen driving a truck with a load of mechanical parts up to a small wooden shed.)
NUMBUH 2(To person(s) in shed): Just put this load on the Kids Next Door account!
(The "attendants" turn around to reveal the DCFDTL wearing overalls and Groucho Marx-style funny glasses.)
DCFDTL(With disguised voices): Will do! Have a nice day!
(We return to the current situation...)
(Numbuh 2 nervously laughs and tugs on his bathrobe's lapel while his teammates eye him in an annoyed manner.)
DCFDTL: By using parts from our salvage yard, Numbuh 2 made it possible for us to take control of the spa's automated system! Now, prepare for a spa treatment you will never forget! Welcome, Kids Next Door, to the SPA OF DOOM!
(The Kids Next Door huddle together in fear.)
NUMBUH 2: Oh, man. I am feeling really, really, dumb right now!
NUMBUH 1: We can hash that out later, Numbuh 2! Right now, Kids Next Door, BATTLE STATIONS!
(The door to the sauna suddenly flings open, sending out a blast of cold vapor.)
DCFDTL: Oh, too cold for you? Maybe this will help!
(The mud in the mud bath suddenly comes to life, forming a big creature composed of mud. The kids suddenly find themselves trapped between the freezing sauna and the mud creature.)
NUMBUH 3: We're trapped!
NUMBUH 5: Hmm... Maybe not! (To mud creature) Hey, slimy!
(The mud creature lunges at Abby, but she dodges, causing the mud creature to slide into the sauna. The cold vapor causes it to freeze solid and break apart.)
NUMBUH 2: All right, Numbuh 5!
(Suddenly, the fragments of the mud creature start to re-form the whole creature.)
NUMBUH 1: Quick! Upstairs!
(Everyone rushes to the third level, but are suddenly ambushed by the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s and massage tables, which are shaking their robotic arms like prizefighters.)
NUMBUH 4: Hah! I got the boxin' tables!
(Numbuh 4 attacks the massage tables while Numbuh 3 approaches the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s.)
NUMBUH 3: I never thanked you guys for doing my nails!
(Numbuh 3 brandishes her fingernails like claws and pounces on one of the W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s, cutting it to pieces. Numbuhs 1, 2 and 5 arm themselves with various weapons and battle the rest, but there are too many.)
NUMBUH 1: Numbuh 2, isn't there any way we can sever the remote link?
(Numbuh 1 blasts a W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T. with his S.P.I.C.E.R. while Numbuh 2 shoves another away from himself.)
NUMBUH 2: There might be! It would have to be somewhere high up and centered... The chandelier!
NUMBUH 5(Kicking W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.): I'll help you up! Quick!
(Numbuh 5 makes a step with her hands, which she uses to toss Numbuh 2 to the chandelier. He sees a small electronic module embedded in the chandelier, but it produces an electric shock that knocks Hoagie off. Fortunately, he manages to hang onto the chandelier.)
DCFDTL(To Hoagie): Oh, you didn't think we'd forget to take precautions, did you?
(Numbuh 2 thinks for a second, and starts to swing the chandelier, causing its support chain to crack.)
DCFDTL: Hey! What are you doing?
NUMBUH 2: Giving you a shocking defeat!
(The chandelier then breaks from the ceiling, sending it and Numbuh 2 falling onto the mud creature, resulting in a cascade of electrical sparks.)
DCFDTL(Over fading TV signal): Nooo! We were so- (Signal dies.)
(The mud creature melts away, the cold gas from the sauna dies down, and the massage tables and W.A.T.C.H.B.O.T.s go offline. Numbuhs 1, 3, 4 and 5 run over to Numbuh 2, who is lying on the floor and completely covered with mud. Numbuh 5 helps him up as he regains consciousness and wipes the mud off his face.)
NUMBUH 1(To Hoagie): Are you all right?
NUMBUH 2: I'm fine. I really made a mess of things, didn't I?
NUMBUH 5: Hey, hey, quit beatin' yourself up!
NUMBUH 1: In fact, we'd all like to have this spa rebuilt!
NUMBUH 2: Really?
NUMBUH 3: Yeah! Plus, we should add a mineral bath, maybe get some seaweed...
NUMBUH 1: Of course, this time we'll make sure it doesn't go haywire again.
NUMBUH 4: Ah, too bad. 'Cause it totally ROCKED! (Singing) Be-neh-neh-deh! Haywire spa! Be-neh-neh-deh!
NUMBUH 5: Man, Numbuh 5's really gonna need a spa day if he keeps that up.
END TRANSMISSION