Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or any of the characters used in this fic. They all belong to Tite Kubo. I only own any of my original characters that I choose to include, as well as any of my own original plot ideas.
Open And Away
A/N: For a friend on LJ who requested an adult!Nel/Ichigo fic; mild AU in Hueco Mundo arc.
Guilty, guilty, guilty. It repeats in her head, independent of her will, because it's true. This is her fault, and she can't forget it. She's failed herself, her brothers, him, and the girl he's sworn to protect. His precious friend, who sits there beside him, crying in silence, hands hovering over him.
Why wasn't she able to hold out? Why couldn't she have held on just a little longer?
She watches, hiding quietly behind the shattered column. The girl, she thinks the name was Orihime, took care of her, sealing her wounds before his. All upon his pained request through broken bones and a mouthful of blood. As quickly as she had come, changed, charged to protect him, Nel slipped away. She knows he'll blame himself if he sees her tattered like this; that he won't leave her any room to take responsibility for her failure.
For that, she can't bring herself to speak to him.
"I'm sorry," is what she wants to say, but it doesn't sound right in her head. Not even if she whispers the words. Somehow, she wants to say something else, something she's wanted to tell him from the moment they'd met. Maybe "thank you," or even "I love you."
Nel just isn't sure.
This Soul Reaper, a boy by the standards of his human world, has given her time that he shouldn't have. Protection that she, a hollow and enemy of both his realms, frankly didn't deserve. It pains her to think that, perhaps, in her masked state, she consumed someone close to him. He must have known, so why waste his time and effort in protecting her?
Then she remembers the word, one that most humans don't throw around casually. Friend. Yes, he'd called her that, and he must have meant it. Although she is sure that he would have protected her anyway, Nel is certain that the ginger wouldn't have fought so hard for her were she not a friend in his mind.
In the sand, at her knees, she sees it, a link from the chain of his blade. She takes it in her hand, now grown again, and holds it tight with a whisper.
"Wake up, Ichigo." Her eyes fall upon him. His face is still. "Open your eyes."
The barrier above him vanishes, the girl gaping. He stirs and stares as the newcomer, a captain, barks at him to stay the hell out of his fight.
She smiles, knowing that he'll look for her. But this time, unlike those before, she doesn't want to be found. It's not time yet.
Someday, she'll come back. And both of them will be better than today.