Ever get that feeling in your gut? The one that tells you, that despite all your best attempts, and efforts, that you are still going to fuck up? Well. That feeling has been forgotten, lost, and drowned the hell out. Probably lost it somewhere at the bottom of this empty bottle, or the second one, but who honestly cares when the pain you felt, is numb.

Sitting upright, Jessica had pulled her fingers through her tousled hair, which, she desperately needed to wash. Taking the hem of her white shirt, she cringed as she brought the collar to her nose. When was the last time she took a shower? With a faint sigh, she rose from the couch and carefully made her way to the bathroom and threw off her clothes. As she watched the hot water circle the drain along with the suds from her body, she couldn't help but still feel lost.

What now? Malcolm never spoke to her, then again, she couldn't blame the man, she did after all, fire him, and meant it. Though perhaps firing him wasn't the issue, she blamed him for Trish relapsing with the use of a military enhanced drug.

Trish. Someone whom she still could not bring herself to speak to, not after what happened. Shutting off the water, she stepped out and began to dry herself off, which took a little longer than usual, no doubt due to the alcohol in her system.

Once dressed, she sat down and pulled on her boots, she needed more booze, no way was she going to go without it, not now. Hearing a knock at the door she would give an incoherent mumble before moving to it. Pulling the door open, she could only raise a brow in question to the man she hadn't seen or spoken to in at least three weeks.

"Malcolm?" She moved to the side, which made him feel somewhat at ease as he let himself into his former employer and friends, apartment. Closing the door, her arms would cross, and she couldn't help but ask him. "Why are you here?"

"Look Jess, I know we, kind of had a falling out, but, are you okay?" His concern was genuine, and even as long as he's known Jess, he could tell just by the way she looked, she wasn't okay.

"No, we didn't have a falling out. See, I was a royal bitch to you, said some terrible things blah, blah blah, I'm a bad person, and I'm fine."

"Jessica, come on, be serious for once in your life. I mean, your mother is gone, that has to affect you somehow"

"It pisses me off"

"Jess, she was a psychopath,"

"And the man your working for shot me a few weeks back"

"Wait, what? Chang shot you?"

"It was actually my mother he was aiming at, but I got in the way. Either way, Chang is an asshole"

"Chang's anger was the result of your mother dismembering his best friend"

"Which wouldn't have fucking happened if Chang didn't send him to steal my stuff Malcolm! I may not be perfect, but I will never, send someone I care about! My life? I could care less what happens. but at least I don't send someone else I give a shit about into harms way"

"Jess come on, I know you care about your life, your just upset, hurting and…"

"Malcolm, please, don't. As much as you don't believe me, I'm fine, I don't need help. I'm back doing what I used to do, a job. You go do yours, you don't have to worry about me. And I really am sorry for what I said, but you and Trish just need to forget you ever met me"

"That's not fair Jessica you saved me, hell you saved Trish"

"Who almost died because of me, so did you. Just. Go"

Without another word, Jess leapt out her window, her steps near faltered as she landed to the ground safely. She was angry, more than she ever cared to be and it scared the shit out of her, and in no way did she want her friends near her.

Why. Why is it that despite how hard you try to leave the ones you care about behind, they keep coming back? Better yet, why come back to me at all? Everything I do or have done has brought nothing but misery, just like Kilgrave predicted it would. Good thing I killed the bastard, that's one thing I will never regret.

The door swung open as she made her way to the bar, giving glance to a bartender whom she at least could tolerate, not like the ones before. "Bourbon, strongest you have"

"Oh? What happened to bottom shelf, cheapest?"

"Living in sin tonight, besides, If I'm going to destroy my body, may as well do it with the good shit right?"

Giving a chuckle he would grab a bottle from the top shelf and fill a glass, though Jessica would grab his wrist lightly and place a large bill to the counter "Leave the bottle, please"

"Can't against the rules"

"Fuck your rules" She placed another large bill down and let go of his wrist, he smirked and took one of the bills leaving the other.

"Keep the other one. Just don't break anything alright?" He left the bottle and moved on to tend to his other customers.

The burn of the liquor felt good, yet every sip she took made her want to vomit, part of her wanted to stop drinking, but the other part didn't give a shit. It may have only been temporary, but at least the edge would be taken off for a while.