Don't Leave Me
Disclaimer: Don't own Hana-kun or Kaede-kun, enough said. The song I used (slightly rearranged, is by Phil Collins, "Against All Odds").
Well, here's another one of my one-shot angst fics (a songfic really) but don't worry, this one has a happy ending! Yay! Albeit a sappy one...
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So take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space
But you coming back to me,
Is against the odds and that's what I've gotta face...
"Will you come back?"
He didn't answer me. He looked away. I felt like dying right there and then. I shouldn't have asked. If I hadn't
asked, I could still cling on to the blind hope that he would one day return to me. I was such a fool. All I've succeeded in
doing is making everything so much more painful. It just makes the aching pain in my heart worse. It just makes the slow,
sinking feeling more intense.
A part of me wishes that he would just lie to me. To tell me that he will come back, even if he never does. To allow
me to have something to live for. A false hope it may be, but hope nonetheless. After all, all my life I'd lived a lie, why
not continue?
All my life, I've tried to escape from this feeling of loneliness. The haunting feeling of not having anyone who
truly cared. I tried surrounding myself with friends, but that was never enough no matter how hard I tried to believe it was.
I pretended to smile but whenever I was alone I started to cry again. Everything was still the same. The undeniable feeling
that I thought would fade over time only grew worse.
There were times I had wanted so much to let them see the real me. The real Sakuragi Hanamichi. The lonely, tired,
scared Sakuragi Hanamichi. The Sakuragi Hanamichi that desperately needed someone to hold him and tell him everything was all
right, wishing for someone to understand the pain. I clung to the hope that one day, I would find someone who understood. I
clung to the belief that someday, I could finally let go off the mask. I was so afraid that if I ever let go of that faint
hope, there would be nothing left but that vague, haunting sense of loneliness.
We shared the laughter and the pain,
And we even shared the tears,
You're the only one,
Who really knew me at all..
When I finally realized what I felt for him was not hate at all, I had dared to believe that my silent prayers were
finally answered. For the first time, the feeling of loneliness left me. I had found someone who could see through my facade.
And although we never shared anything besides insults, I started to think that we had a bond that couldn't be broken. I had
finally felt... love.
Maybe I was a fool to have dared to even think of such a thing, yet I couldn't help it. This was all I ever wanted.
The only thing that I had ever truly needed. I didn't want him to leave me.
His hand suddenly reached up and streaked across my cheek. He was wiping away my tears. I didn't realize I had
started to cry. It was strange, he had never touched me this way before. All this while, we had only ever exchanged blows and
now... As much as I wanted to put on my mask and tell him not to touch me, I couldn't. The sudden realization that I would
never feel his hands, his beautiful hands, touch me again made even more tears flood my eyes even though I desperately tried
to stop them.
"Don't cry," he whispered.
And all the while I sat there, tears streaming down my face, he wiped them away. What we exchanged through our eyes
in that moment, words can't describe. The people around us stared in curiosity and disgust, but I didn't care. All I needed
was the moment to last forever. But the old cliché came back to haunt me, "nothing lasts forever".
"Last call for flight MH18925 from Kanagawa to the United States."
How can I just let you walk away,
Just let you leave without a trace..
It's not fair. We'd only just begun. But then again, life was never fair.
Take a look at me now,
There's just an empty space,
But you coming back to me is against the odds,
And that's what I've gotta face.
He stopped caressing my cheek and got up. A sudden blinding fear seized me. I reached out and grabbed his hand. I
couldn't let him leave. There would be nothing more left for me if he left. His eyes stared into mine. At that moment, I
finally let go of all my foolish pride.
"Don't leave me," I whimpered pathetically.
It was amazing how much had changed in just the past few minutes. Before this, I would have never admitted I felt
nothing but total, unadulterated hatred for this being before me. And now, I was begging him not to leave me. All the pretences had been dropped. All that he saw at that moments was me. The real me. The me that needed him. I just hoped that he needed me as badly. He pulled his hand away.
I wish I could make you turn around,
Turn around and see me cry,
There's so much I need to say to you,
So many reasons why...
I vaguely remember feeling like everything around me had crumbled and fallen away. I had started to sob uncontrollably then.
But to wait for you,
Is all I can do,
And that's what I've gotta face,
Take a good look at me now,
Because I'll still be standing here..
Then, I felt his hand on my cheek. The familiar warm touch, again wiping away the tears that steadily streamed down
from my eyes. Brown eyes looked into blue ones. Right then, all I felt was love. There was no fear, no lingering sense of
loneliness. Just love. A strong intense love that refused to be denied. And it could have been my imagination, for it was only for a split second, but I think he smiled.
"Do'aho, I would never leave you."
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So there. The end. Liked it? In any case, please review.
E-mail: fracky_00@hotmail.com