The Smallest Hero
Haunted Houses were not Eden's thing. But when Tony Fucking Stark hosts the biggest one of the century in his own Avengers tower, well. You don't tend to miss things like that. "Did you just knock out the Falcon?" Uncomfortable shifting. "Yes, but he had it coming! Who the fuck drops from the air ducts like that?" Let's just hope the night doesn't end in handcuffs.
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Haunted Houses were not Eden's thing. Not at all. Now, this isn't to say she was cowardly or easily frightened, but that the constant screaming and jumping made her instincts go crazy. Eden Young was born and raised in Manhattan, which means all twenty two years of her carefully honed reactions were being put to the test. Needless to say, the only reason she came was because a kid from the local YMCA she volunteered at asked her to. "Do you think I'll get arrested if I punch a worker?", she wondered to herself. Teenagers surrounding her eyed her warily and gave her space. As she got closer to the front doors, she felt her blood hum and her shoulders raised themselves like a cat on its haunches. She took in deep, lung fulls of air, tasting the scents surrounding her. She smelled smoke; fake blood; sweat; tears. She smelled excitement and fear, the hormones of the adolescents surrounding her pumping through the local oxygen like a drug. She coughed. "Great idea, Eden. Lets hope this doesn't end in handcuffs.", she muttered, and, with little fan fare, entered the building.
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"Sir, we have an intruder on floor 145.", FRIDAY's voice came over the intercom, pulling Tony out of his project. He's been fine tuning his Iron Man Bracelets, or IMB's, because honestly it took way too long for his suit to get to him during their last clash with HYDRA scum. His security feed, courtesy of FRIDAY, pulled up on his STARK monitor. There, skulking around and muttering to herself, was a young girl. "FRIDAY, facial recognition. She could be just another lost civilian, but I wanna know how she got this far up." Numbers flashed across his screen before several documents opened before his eyes. Eden Young, twenty two years old, graduate of Long Island University. Dual masters in psychology and physical rehabilitation. One of the youngest millionaires this side of the equator. Daughter of Pierre Young, french entrepreneur and leading force in the Private Protection sector and Kim Jiwoo, famous South Korean super model. Raised in Manhattan by personal butler James Roux since birth. "FRIDAY, deploy iron legion member #2. Have them escort her out.", he dismissed the feed on his monitor. Just another kid.
Friday booted the robot up, coding the instructions into the black hardware space. The lights in the helmet flashed. 'ESCORT (1) EDEN YOUNG OUT OF BUILDING. PROCESSING FACIAL RECOGNITION. TARGET CONFIRMED. MISSION PARAMETERS ACCEPTED.'
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The sound of gears whirring made Eden's shoulders hike. Her nose twitched. Metal, grease, and something distinctly artificial swarmed her senses. Her muscles tensed as the figure came closer. The lady who had been guiding her through the house had disappeared somewhere on the tenth floor, which, to be honest, was probably the scariest thing of this whole tour. With half her mind focused on her surroundings, she broke through the basic passcode bar on the elevator and rode it to the top. That's where the house ended, right? At the top of the tower? It was child's play getting passed the firewalls on the security system, to be honest. Eden couldn't lie, she was slightly impressed. The first couple of floors had been full of mannequins and robots dressed in fake blood and makeup. Not really that terrifying. But this whole abandoned top floor scheme they were going for? Her fingers twitched in anticipation, skin goosebumping with excitement. Something was hunting her. And she wasn't about to be caught. There! She bounded off the wall to her right and slammed her left heel across the robot's face. Not even a dent. Her brow furrowed. This tower was dangerous. What if a child broke through here and was faced with this thing? They would never be able to defend themselves, not like Eden could. She would be sending a very lengthy letter to STARK Industries when this was all done. Dodge, dip, launch forward- quick right hook, follow up with another left foot roundhouse kick. No dice, the robot just kept coming. "What the hell kind of haunted house is this?", she muttered to herself, side stepping another punch. She reached into her utility pack, pulling out her steel nail file. "Let's go, iRobot." A punch slammed into her ribs. Son of a bitch.
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Sam woke with a start. Intruder? Were they under attack? FRIDAY hadn't sounded the alarm but, compared to JARVIS, she was easily disabled. He jumped up, knocking the cover off the vent. Clint had shown him to travel via air-vents when her first moved in. "Thank you Bird Buddy.", he muttered to himself, army crawling toward the sound of battle. He dropped down into the middle of a fight, glock armed and ready. "Everybody freeze-", he didn't get to finish. A tight fist slammed across his face. Nighty night, birdy.
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"Sir! Sir! There, there seems to be a malfunction with iron legion member #2! He's engaged the female intruder in combat!", FRIDAY's nervous voice filtered in as security feed overwrote whatever project he was working on on his monitor. Tony felt his jaw drop. "Holy shit. FRIDAY, zoom in!" The young girl was actually holding her own! Tony grabbed his tablet and shut the robot down just as- was that the Falcon? Just as the Falcon dropped down from the vent. He couldn't help it. He giggled. "FRIDAY, you got that on tape, right? Please tell me you got that.", he muttered to himself, grabbing his Avenger-sized first aid kit and speed walking to his elevator. Time to meet the mystery girl. And hopefully stave off any legal issues.
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Eden swore. The lights died in the iron robot's eyes. The metal figure was just starting to deform under the weight of her blows, smeared with red from her split knuckles. She had been boxing and practicing mixed martial arts all her life (as well as yoga and gymnastics, but those didn't seem to intimidate people as much as the violent forms did) and it had surprised her when her callouses broke under the sharp bite of the metal. The skin on her right eye was starting to discolour, as well her forearms where she had taken blows to cover her face. Her chest heaved as she greedily soaked in oxygen, taking in the scuff marks on the walls and the floors. But more pressingly? The guy she knocked out. Eden swore again. "I am definitely getting sued.", she muttered to herself, rolling the guy over on to his back. Good, he was breathing. Steady pulse, nice.
"That's funny, that's what I said to myself!", a voice crowed. Eden did not, under any circumstances, scream. It was...a battle cry. Yes. That's what it was- a roar of might before engaging in battle. That was her story and she was sticking to it. Her jaw dropped as billionaire Tony Stark dropped to his knees in front of the body beside her and began to whistle. "I-I am so sorry. But you really shouldn't have included robots in this haunted house! There is no way a regular kid could have handled that!", she protested. Tony paused. "And...what exactly did you encounter? So far, I mean? How did you find these...floors?", his voice was tempered and controlled and made Eden recoil with suspicion. "Well, the security pad was child's play to break through. I mean, it was a basic algorithm pattern with some physics jokes dropped in. Not that hard. But other than the laser beams I had to dodge and the invisible trip alarms I skipped by, it wasn't too hard. The anticipation is what really did me in, though." Tony didn't know if he should scream or laugh. He settled for laughing. "FRIDAY, call in the Avengers. I think we need to have a team meeting." At that moment, Sam groaned, holding his head and attempting to sit up. Oh yeah, the team needed to hear about this.
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The tips of Eden's ears glowed as she sipped daintily at her water. Surrounding her, in various states of sleeping gear, was Earth's Mightiest Heroes. The Black Widow was wearing some silk neglige, the holster to two guns and a few knives peaking through the thin material. Captain America looked like someone woke up a sleeping puppy, wearing nothing more than a pair of sweatpants. Bruce Banner was curled around a cup of tea in a matching set of baby blue striped pajamas. Thor was wearing a pair of boxers with beakers painted on them, quite glad to proclaim they were a gift from 'Lady Darcy'. Hawkeye was wearing a power rangers t-shirt and some basketball shorts,carrying four mugs of coffee in his hands, plus one on his head out of the kitchen and into the living room where they had all adjourned. The Scarlet Witch wore a t-shirt she was sure belonged to her brother and some nike shorts. Alternatively, her brother padded around the room shirtless, in a pair of joggers. "The War Machine is in Washington, working out a deal and The Vision is currently touring the world.", Tony had informed her when he passed her a cup of water.
The silence continued.
Steve sighed, looked to the heavens as if pleading, downed his cup like a shot, and then sighed again. "Okay, let's run this one more time. Ms. Young here managed to waltz through all of Tony's security bars like it was the fourth of july at a local club and took down not only the Falcon but an iron legion bot? The ones you created to withstand rioting crowds?", he directed that last part incredulously at Tony. The accused shrugged. "Hey, she's the daughter of the leading man in the private security sector. It doesn't surprise me she knows her way around a padded cell. Hell, I bet that utility belt is as stocked as Natasha's. Besides, she didn't take defeat the bot. Just roughed it up a little. I shut it down remotely from the lab." Eden flushed. "I-I thought it was all part of the haunted house! I didn't know that weak shit you call protection was actually your security system!" she sniffed haughtily to hide her nervousness. Sam groaned again. "Okay, but did you have to knock me out?", he muttered, moodily picking at the blueberry muffin he had nicked from the kitchen. "Well, who the fuck drops out of air ducts like it's normal?", she snarked. Clint coughed, hiding a snicker. Sam scowled. "I blame you Steve. I was normal before all of this. I quit, give me my missing persons cases back." Steve sighed. "We've been over this. You can't quit. I'd have to kill you, lest you spill all our dirty secrets!", Clint proclaimed dramatically, giving a sly grin to his fellow bird-mate. The Falcon nursed the swelling egg on his right cheek.
While his team mates bickered half-heartedly with the girl, he took the time to check her out. Black Nike's, a pair of short compression shorts that should be illegal on that ass, and a white tank top. Her black and white adidas track jacket was fitted and the leather utility belt around her waist hugged her frame nicely. Her long black hair was curled at the ends and thrown haphazardly across her right shoulder, her fringe tucked behind her left ear. Her amber eyes were narrowed in annoyance but her flushed cheeks gave away her nervousness. Sam decided her chewing her perfectly red lips should be illegal. So he told her. Tony eyed him oddly. "Are...are you okay Sam? Maybe he hit his head harder than I thought…", he muttered to himself, flashing a small light in his eyes. Sam batted his hands away. He was perfectly fine. Just a little dizzy. Wow, she was pretty. Would Steve let him keep her? Look at that blush! She was so cute when she blushed. What was her name again? He scratched his chin. He was sure she had told him already but he couldn't quite place it. "Eden. It's Eden.", she muttered, flushing even more. Had he said that aloud? What else had he said? He hoped she hadn't heard him think about her nice ass or her perfect boobs. That would be bad. She was up there with Natasha on the hotness scale. He blinked. "Did you just throw my muffin at him?", Clint asked incredulously, staring at the russian assassin. Natasha shrugged. "Okay! Time for you to wait in med bay for Dr. Cho to get here! You are definitely concussed!", Bruce stood to steer Sam out of the room.
Steve sighed again. "I'm sorry about them. Sam is usually more of a gentlemen. Tony's a lost cause though." He dodged the balled-up napkin. "I'm afraid Natasha is going to have to frisk you before you may go. Tony is double checking your story. I know this may seem invasive, but you did break into the Avengers Tower." He offered a sheepish smile, rimming the top of his mug with his fingers. Eden sighed. "Can I watch?", Clint begged as Natasha stood to examine the girl. Steve absent mindedly swatted the back of his head lightly (never mind his super strength actually threw the archer on the floor). "I knew the hawk man was just an old pervert", the silver haired speedster jeered, giving an outrageous wink and grin to Eden. Clint protested half-heartedly from his place on the floor. "Brother, leave the man alone. He is...how do you say...troubled?" The group broke into laughter as Wanda's poor diction choices damned Clint rather than alleviate the teasing. "I think you mean to say that you shouldn't kick a man while he's down.", Bruce offered with a weary grin. "Dr. Cho is with Sam. He'll be out of commission for awhile. Turns out she slammed his head into the granite harder than we thought." Eden groaned. Great, she had done what previous villains had failed to do and shorted the team a member. "I am so, so sorry about this. I honestly thought it was part of the tour. I'll pay for his medical bill, I promise! Just name a price.", she began to pull out the checkbook tucked into her belt. Steve protested. "We could never charge you, ma'am. This was all just a big misunderstanding. Besides, if Sam was bested by a five foot girl, I'm sure he'll need the down time to train up." Eden rose an eyebrow, dropping her check book. "Are you saying girls aren't powerful? That we can't beat boys?" Natasha paused her frisking, turning to face the good Captain. Steve felt sweat bead on his forehead. "N-no! Not at all! I, um, just never thought a civilian girl could beat out a superhero is all!", he tried again. No dice. Natasha's eyebrow began to climb. "So girls can't be superheros?", her voice could cut steel.
Clint began to inch back with Thor and Tony hot on his tail, taking cover behind the couch. Steve silently cursed. Those cowards. Bruce ignored the group of idiots and flipped through the chincy infomercials on the TV. "What Steve means is that no Avenger should be caught off guard like that, not matter if the opponent is male, female, or both." The two girls relaxed and Natasha resumed her search. "I'm going to need you to empty your utility belt." Eden flushed again as the team gathered to see what she had stored away. Two lollipops, a few condoms, a money clip, two credit cards, her check book, a spare tampon, some bobbi pins, a tube of chapstick, her phone with a pair of headphones wrapped around it, a steel nail file, and her driver's license. Pietro darted forward. "Thanks!", he waved enthusiastically around her sucker. Eden scowled, grabbing the other protectively and shoving it in her mouth. "Watch it punk! These are mine!" Natasha sighed. She was surrounded by kids. "Well, she's clean." She stood and took a seat next to Clint. "Her story checks out. Well, Ms. Young, looks like you get to go home now! Here's my card, give me a call sometime. I'd love to contract you for security services.", Tony rambled. Eden accepted the clear sheet of plastic. If she tipped it just right, a series of numbers holographed above the thin scrap. "Er, thanks?"
As Eden made her way home, she felt her shoulders droop in relief and allowed herself to sigh. Hopefully this would be the last time she had to deal with the Avengers.
Famous last words, Young.