Rating: K+

Genre: Tragedy / Hurt

Warnings: Male x Male

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Dragon Age just using their characters and so on for entertainment.

A/N: Got this idea after talking to Cullen with my Templar Trevelyan and getting the info from him that templars lose their memories over time, because of the lyrium. F***ed up s**t! He could have told me sooner!

Lost Memories

MaleTrevelyan x Dorian

He could no longer take the agony of staying by his amatus' side. It was too much to remember everything from their lives while he knew nothing of it anymore. He had never hated templars before, but when he found out that the amnesia was caused by having to take the lyrium to keep the abilities needed for a templar had he thrown a fit so large that Bull had come from Maker knows where to stop him from burning things to the ground while cursing templars and lyrium together. It had been worse than when Corypheus had been around or so he had been told. What nonsense. He was startled when the door to his study suddenly opened and the former Inquisitor Alexander Trevelyan - or simply Alec for people close to him - stepped through.

"Oh, pardon me, sir. I was- I think I was looking for someone..." blue eyes so deep they seemed the color of amethyst narrowed in thought as he looked at him.

"And who might that be, amatus?"

The next moment he winced. He hadn't wanted to use that cherished word - "Amatus." It was a word he could no longer use. Alec didn't recognize him anymore, couldn't recognize him anymore. He lived in the past, most of the time and the rest he didn't even know his own name or where he was, who he was and so on and it got only worse by the day.

"Amatus?" the former Inquisitor asked, surprised. "Have you heard that word from Dorian, sir? He always calls me that, but refuses to tell me what it means. Do you know by chance?"

"Yes, I do." he smiled, sadly, longing, yearning, pain evident in his old eyes.

He stood up, tumbling slightly towards the man he loved – still loves even now more than anything – and held his hands, which are so rough and calloused from the sword and shield he carried, gentle and secure. His eyes bore into amethyst and he tried to convey his feelings for probably now the hundredths time, that smile still tugging at his lips.

"It means something like loved one or beloved one, Alec..."

"I..." the Inquisitor's eyes clouded over confused and lost. He shook his head, trying to clear it in vain. Then he looked up and the young man he remembered himself to be vanished, replaced by a worn out old man. "Who were you again you said?"

He could not help it that tears fell down his cheeks now as so often as he sighed wearily and smiled weakly at Trevelyan.

"No one in particular, amatus."

"Ah, that word! You know I had a lover once – the only one for me – who always called me that. What was his name again? I can't seem to recall... By the way, what is your name? I don't think we've met."

"My name is Dorian, Alec. Dorian Pavus..."

"Dorian... hm..."

A light flicker went through his eyes at that, a short glimmer of knowing.

"That name! I-!"

But then was it gone as quickly as it had come and the darkness descended once more over his mind.

"Well, I... It's a good name, I'm sure. So, what was I doing again?"

Alec turned and left the room, closing the door, his hands long ago departed the gentle hold of the Tevinter Mage. The Magister took a shaking breath and fell to his knees, weeping. The glorious Inquisitor Trevelyan was gone for good and with him his very heart. There are no words to describe the pain of losing someone even though they are still alive, still there and yet departed so long ago...

No one disturbed him that day anymore...