You Won't Be Mine
By: the female apophis
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own them. But god, I wish I did…
Rating: PG
Pairings: Sam/Jack implied.
Type: Angst/Romance
Characters: Sam. Daniel makes a very brief appearance, and Jack shows up about halfway through.
Summary: It's the aftermath of 'Grace'.
Archive: As long as you ask me first, yes.
Spoilers: It's the aftermath of 'Grace' so yeah, there's going to be a few spoilers for that in here.
Song: Maybe. I don't really know yet.
Other Stuff: Don't count on it.
A/N: I almost cried twice during this episode. And instead of watch my friend sleep, I decided to write this. And I'm really hoping you like it too!
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Janet cleared me to leave the infirmary today. The guys are throwing a small party for me tomorrow. Sort of a welcome back party; I can't honestly say I'm looking forward to it.
Daniel gave me a ride home, and I'm sure he's just chalking my silence up to the fact that I just got over a massive concussion. I hardly spoke the whole way to my house.
I wave a goodbye as I step inside my house, closing the door softly as he pulls out of my driveway.
Resting my back against the door, I close my eyes for a second to keep the wave of dizziness from causing me to pass out.
As soon as my balance returned, I carefully removed my shoes, trying not to move too much, hoping to keep the nausea at bay.
Just taking my shoes off has tired me again, and I travel the short distance to my couch. Lying down, I'm about to drift off, when the sound of a car pulling up in my driveway wakes me back up.
Just about the time I reach the front door, the sound of a key in the lock causes me to pause.
The door quietly swings open, and he's standing there.
Our eyes lock for a brief second before I turn away, moving back towards my position on the couch.
I feel a blanket being laid over my body, and the action is awarded with a smile gracing my features.
Grace…god, why?
I'm taken back to that moment on the ship when I first woke up, no one there but Grace filled with so much childlike innocence.
I thought I'd been on that ship for months by myself, just occasionally being pestered by one of my fellow teammates. Teal'c only came a few times, while Daniel came a lot.
God, why did dad have to put those thoughts in my head? Why? I am happy! I am!
Aren't I?
I've got the best job anyone could ever possibly ask for. I've come some of the best friends in the entire galaxy.
But dad was right. There's no way I could be truly happy until I find love.
And that's when he came, my knight in shining armor.
He's always been the one that gave me the confidence I needed to succeed. Even if he wasn't in my presence, the fact that I knew he was thinking of me kept me going.
And I've realized that I could never possibly love someone until I've gotten over him.
But the problem is, I highly doubt I'll ever get over him completely.
I'm taken back to that small room on the ship, when he showed up. He even knows that I need to be happier.
Should I have kissed him? Of course, it would still have been a figment of my imagination, but it would be a kiss.
Suddenly, an odd feeling in my stomach causes me to awaken, and I barely make it to the spare bathroom in time before I empty the entire contents of my stomach.
I feel a pair of hands come to rest on my shoulder and back, silently letting me know that he's there for me.
He said he always would be.
The thoughts just start a new wave of heaving, but soon, there's nothing left in my stomach, and the dry heaving is all that's left.
When it finally stops, I sit back, instantly feeling his body against mine, as he holds me for what seems to be forever.
And I know this is wrong, but it doesn't stop me from molding myself to his body, finding it to be an easy challenge.
"You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah." I nod, wrapping my arms around him.
I feel his own arms surround me, holding me tightly to him.
"I dreamed about you." I state, my voice barely a whisper.
"What was that?"
And I tell him. I tell him everything.
As I finish up, I can feel the tension suddenly begin to mount between us.
Did I do the right thing in telling him?
He pushes me up slightly, and I'm hesitant to move.
"Let's get you to bed Sam."
As he guides me down to the bedroom, I begin to feel what I've been missing.
Happiness.
But this feeling doesn't last as he helps me to lie down, and pulls the covers up over my shoulders.
"Go to sleep Carter."
I nod briefly, and as he turns to go, I feel sleep begin to overcome me once more.
"Jack?"
He turns at the sound of my voice.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
I pause for a brief moment before giving him my answer.
"For helping me to become happy."
He strolls back over to the side of my bed, and I smile as I feel shockingly soft lips brush against my forehead.
"Goodnight Sam."
I fall into a dreamless sleep then, feeling safe and for the first time in a long time, happy.
~fin~
Okay, this definitely didn't end the way I wanted it to. But it's still a story.
And this author would love to know what you think of it!
I would just like to say, this story was completely unbetaed. So any and all mistakes in spelling and grammar are entirely mine.
Much love to you all!
-the female apophis