Anime/Manga: Tsubasa/Horitsuba Gakuen Omake
Couples: KuroFai, KuroTomo, KuroMoko, etc
Rating: T
Warnings: For hetero fans: Boy love! For Boy Love fans: Hetero love!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!

P R O L O G U E

The Exchange of Epic Proportions and Etc

Typicalness was always a plus according to Kurogane's Guide Book to a Well Organized Lifestyle—as in a sense that everything was normal and went the way it should and so on and so on. No obnoxious chemistry teacher, no literature "director" on crack. Just nice and easy and by the book.

"Amazing," Fai D. Fluorite, chemistry professor, Princess of Annoyance and Disturbancey. Ahem. Excuse me—Prince. (Though considering the blond's knack for cross dressing randomly might make one think otherwise.) The lean man was staring off into the distance as if in a meaningful trance.

Meaningful? Kurogane scoffed. Not likely.

"What?" the gym teacher barked back duly. "What's 'amazing'?"

"Amazing," Fai repeated. "That organisms"—he pointed to the microscope slide—"will eat other organisms. Living organisms—or once living if they eat eaten. They have each other for breakfast. It's cannibalism. It's survival of the fittest. It's Amigo vs. Amigo. It's—"

"Is there, y'know, any point to this little monologue?" Kurogane asked bluntly. "No? Well, that's nice and all but I'm pretty sure lunch is almost over and I need to get back to—"

And then she burst in. That overly tall, large-breasted woman with the long and dark satin hair and those 'Omaigosh, they totally match yours, Kuro-chi!' eyes as Fai called them.

But Fai was weird. And Kurogane usually stayed clear of weird objects.

Ichihara Yuuko was sporting a new outfit that seemed to be crafted by herself to appear to look similar to the actual school uniform, but tres, tres more stylish.

"Hello, Fai-chan! Hello, Kurogane-sensei!" she gushed as she strolled confidently into the lab room.

"Oh, good morning . . .or evening . . .or morvening!" Fai greeted cheerfully kissing Yuuko a kiss on both cheeks which she returned graciously.

"Mor . . . vening?" Kurogane raised an eyebrow.

"It's a new word I just made up! It means between morning and evening! Morvening! Isn't it cute, Kuro-wan?" Fai asked hopefully, balling up with hands and bouncing on his tip-tops.

"No."

"WAAAHH~" The chemistry professor suddenly cried, rushing into the arms of an eager Yuuko. "Kuro-meanie-sensei is so mean!" he whimpered through obviously fake sobs.

"Grrr, shut up, Fluorite!" the dark-haired man snarled.

"Oooh," the insany-in-the-brainy literary teacher cooed. "How rude. How enormously rude. Anyway," she said, letting go of Fai and turning to the both of them, "we have a new transfer student. I'd like you to show her around, okay?"

"Yay, yay! Of course, Yuuko-sensei!" the blond squealed.

"No."

"What was that, Kurogane?" Yuuko asked seriously.

"No."

"No?" she repeated as if she didn't understand the meaning of the word.

"That's right—no. No way in hell. I have to much work to do—"

"Zankou."

"What?"

"Zankou."

". . .What is that supposed to mean?!"

"ZankouZankouZankou!" Yuuko chanted and Fai joined along.

Kurogane gawked. "This is ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous." He shook his head. "Have you two no shame?"

"No!" they cried in unison.

"Well . . . Where's the new guy?"

Yuuko beamed and made her way to the door, opening it. "May I present—Daidoji Tomoyo!" Fai clapped and Kurogane stared as a petite girl with long raven-black hair and violet eyes entered the room confidently.

"I made Yuuko-san's outfit," the little girl said, "if you were wondering. I like making clothes."

"Yup, yup!" Yuuko chimed. "And aren't they fabulous?" She did a model-like twirl.

"Totally fabu!" Fai agreed.

This was . . . ridiculous, Kurogane thought for the thousandth time. "Okay, so let's get this over with. Come on, Tomoyo. . . ." He trailed off, squinting.

"Hime," Fai stated.

"What?"

"Hime. Tomoyo-hime. Princess Tomoyo," he chirped in his homeland language.

"Wow." The small girl giggled. "That's so nice. Thank you, Fai-sensei."

"Call me Fai-chan!"

"Fai-chan . . . and Kurogane-meanie-sensei?" The was a hint of amusement in her voice.

Kurogane blushed admittedly and shouted, "NO. NO. NO. It's Kurogane! KU-RO-GA-NE."

"Alrighty then!" Yuuko interrupted, clapping her freshly red-painted nail-clad hands together. "Let's get this show on the road!"

And so they got this show on the road.

That is—they showed Tomoyo around the school—her classrooms, the cafeteria, the gym, the restrooms--etc, etc. Fai did this in an annoying way that's not recommended--like bursting into classrooms and greeting the surprised teachers or the girls(and boys) restrooms. "This is Tomoyo-hime, everyone!" he would bellow.

Oh Lord in Heaven, Kurogane thought. This is going to be a long day.

Tomoyo seemed to instantly like Kurogane—she thought he was honest and adorably flustered--a good, brave man overall. She also liked Fai, because, well, Fai was Fai just like Mokona was Mokona in a way. She also thought Fai was pretty unlike most men. Kurogane wasn't pretty—handsome, yes—but pretty? No, just no. Actually, Fai was beautiful. She would love to dress him up. She knew the perfect colors that would go well with his pale skin, his golden hair, and his bright sky-blue eyes.

The perfect clothes. And she would design them. When she was older she would have her own clothing line—Culture of the Princess by Tomoyo. Or something fancy sounding like that.

"Fai-chan?" Tomoyo said quietly after the tour.

"Hm?"

"May I dress you up? Please?"

Fai blinked. Kurogane raised an eyebrow. Fai grinned.

"Why, I would be honored to be your dress up doll, Tomoyo-hime!" he gushed.

And so they ran of together, leaving poor Kurogane behind. Kurogane could swear that they were running in slow motion, their eyes twinkling, and frilly, pink bubbles parading around them.

Of course, it could have just been his imagination.

So was that little, "Oh ho ho ho!"