Disclaimer I do not own Portal 2, Valve does. This has human Wheatley and a Chell that speaks. So yeah, pretty much AU. So enjoy it while it lasts. Just a warning, I changed the wording a bit, it was irking me.
"What is that?" Wheatley asked cautiously, pointing at the runny tannish goo on his ice cream. He prodded it with his spoon slowly, the substance sticking to the utensil. "Did you put glue on my desert? I-is it poisonous?"
Chell laughed at his quizzical concern. "No, Wheatley, its caramel. It's really sweet." She spooned some into her mouth, "Try some."
He scooped up a small bit of the ice cream and sauce. He tentatively licked it. As soon as he tasted the caramel, he beamed and nodded. "This is delicious, luv." He said enthusiastically.
The next evening, after supper, the two were just sitting on the sofa, watching TV. "Chell, can we have more ice cream today?"
"No Wheatley, we had some yesterday." Chell answered, not bothering to look away from the screen.
"Oh, but." Wheatley whined from his spot on the couch. "I'll watch that disturbing Bones show." Chell really considered this, knowing this was something that wouldn't happen often, and the next episode would start in 10 minutes. She nodded, caving in to him. "Great luv, I'll go get some!" He exclaimed, jumping from the couch.
"Umm, luv? I think the bottle's busted." Wheatley called nervously. Chell got up quickly and practically sprinted to the kitchen.
Inside the small room, she saw Wheatley panicking, the small tan bottle stuck to his hand. She burst out laughing at his predicament.
"Well it's not that funny?" Wheatley snapped. The caramel started bubbling. "Um, Ch-Chell? What's wrong with the cara- Aghh" The caramel bubble popped, splattering all over the two.
"I'm starting a bath." Chell sighed in defeat. Chell grabbed a towel off the hook and walked into the bathroom.
"S-sorry luv." Wheatley called after her. "You know what? I can clean this for her, maybe she wont be mad." He said to himself. Grabbing the dishwashing rag, he set to work. Clang! "Aghh, Bloody Hell!"
Chell ran into the room. "What's going on now?" She asked slightly irritated. This time, Wheatley still had the brown goo all over him, but now he had a soapy rag across his lap, a bowl on his knee, and a tub of vanilla ice cream on his head.
"There may have been a little accident. Nothing to major though." He assured her.
"Wheatley, you look ridiculous." Chell laughed out. She reached out to help him. "Then again, I probably do to." She smiled.
"Thanks luv." Wheatley said. Chell than grabbed the rag and wiped his face with it.
"Hold on, you've got a little something right there." She giggled.
"Well, so do you." Wheatley smiled, scooping up some bubbles and throwing them at her. The two sat and laughed and smiled the whole time.