Chapter 1: Dirt

Disclaimer: I own nothing, except my own ideas

This story was originally posted back in 2009. Now It is being fixed and improved. So pleaseeeee review I will answer each and every one of you!

Chapter 1

xxxAt Devil May Cryxxx

"Come on , you gotta clean up this mess Dante...it's unbearable...all these empty pizza boxes, beer cans...there must be even mice living here! Gosh!"

"Oh come on...it's not that bad."

"Yeah, it's a dump, really Dante, stop shoving all your work into Patty's hands, and do something for yourself!"

"You mean, yourself."

"Just forget it.", Trish rolled her eyes.

The shop was a mess. Pizza boxes and empty beer cans scattered all over the floor. Dust and spider webs covered every inch of Devil May Cry, making the place not as pleasant as it could be, even for Dante's poor standards.

"Yeah, I'll stop doing the work around here...You just make everything a mess. I'll put an ad on the newspaper, so then you can find a suitable maid.", stated Patty.

"Yeah, fine, but under one condition!"

"WHAT!", said Trish and Patty at the same time.

"The babe gotta be hot, Isn't it true Verge?", Dante asked his twin, who was silent in one of the corners of the room, nose buried in one of those thick books of his. If they did not address him, no one would ever see him there. In fact, no one would even notice Vergil lived there as well if it wasn't for his immaculate room upstairs. The only clean corner of Devil May Cry.

"Whatever, do as you please.", he said before hoping up the stairs heading to his "little sanctuary" as they so often called it.

Dante shrugged it off, and headed towards his desk, only to snatch an old piece of cold pizza.

"So any new calls, Patty?"

"Not really, just that one from that guy who ended up not paying you the last time...so I doubt you would ever be interested in working for him again."

"You're right kiddo."

"If you continue to choose which job you will or won't do, you'll never pay your debt! I want my money back!", retorted an angry Lady, who had just entered the shop and sat across from Trish on the beaten up leather couch.

"Calm down sweet Lady of mine, I'll pay you… eventually."

"Don't call me that unless you want me to put a bullet in your face again!"

"Come on you wouldn't want to blow this handsome face of mine, would you?", replied Dante playfully.

"Do you want me to put it somewhere else? In a place that you'll still have your face, but will not be able to produce any faces alike yours?"

"Come on babe, surely you are willing to be making these faces with me ? We'd better get started, the sooner the better!"

"Go to hell you self-centered bastard!, if you want ANY children I suggest you start cleaning up this hellhole, so then a decent woman, not one of those sluts that are all over you, may show up and maybe, just maybe, want to start a serious relationship with you."

"Tell me Lady, what normal woman wouldn't want to make some babies with me ? Tell me since you're so sure of yourself, surely you are one of them, you just won't admit it, not even to yourself, you are just eager for me to clean up my bed for YOU to jump there and spread your legs for me to..."

Dante only felt something collide with his face, hard, pretty hard...not that something like a human's blow would hurt him...but anyways...

Being in his mid-twenties did him no good, especially when it came to flirting with angry women.

"DON'T YOU EVER , EVER AGAIN INSINUATE SOMETHING LIKE THAT! I'D RATHER DIE THAN TO SLEEP WITH YOU, I'M NOT A SLUT, I'D NEVER EVER WANT TO BEAR SOMETHING AS VILE AS A DEMON, LET ALONE YOUR DEMON, SO GO FIND ANOTHER ASS TO FUCK, YOU DUMBASS!

"What the hell just happened in here?" , asked Trish as Lady stormed off Devil May Cry.

"She just heard the truth."

"And that would be...let me see...how much she wants you to fuck her senseless, and then, eventually bear your children along the way."

"Exactly.", replied Dante without a hint of doubt.

"You're delusional...", she sighed and walked away.

"You'd better stick to the ads, anyways.", said Patty after hearing the hole commotion from upstairs.

"Yeah bring the hot chicks on!"

End of chapter one...please review, it would make me really happy. By the way now I am editing this story, so all mistakes will be corrected and new things will be added.

This was originally posted back in 2009 (wow, so longggg – but I still love this and hope more people will also enjoy it.)

I intend to answer every single review, so please don't be shy :D