Disclaimer: The PMK 'verse isn't mine.
Genre: comedy
Rating: T for language and innuendo.
A/N: This is an excerpt from an upcoming chapter of "The Hells Hath No Fury..." but Amy got a kick out of it and said I should share. The title will change later.
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Candy Run
"This is getting on my nerves."
"What's getting on your nerves?"
"You and your damn candy," Toshi snarled. "Did you have to get so much? That crap cost me a fortune."
"I had to get enough to share with the other children," answered the young man walking next him. "It would be rude not to."
"Other children? You're twenty years old, damn it! That's too old to be playing hide-and-seek with a bunch of babies. I wish you'd grow up already," he grumbled.
"Ah, you don't mean that. You like me just the way I am. Besides," he wheedled the big man, "you can afford it Mr.Hijikata."
"You are such a brat," he groaned.
"Am not,"
"Are too,"
"Fine…grouch."
"This is you not being a brat?"
"100 percent non-brat…jerk."
"Baka,"
"Ahou,"
"Bitch,"
"Feh, talk about wishful thinking."
"WHAT?!"
"What?" Souji asked as he turned back to where his friend had stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly his hands flew to his mouth. "Did I say that out loud?" he asked in surprise.
"What the hell do you mean wishful thinking?" asked Hijikata with a horrified look on his face.
Souji's eyes grew round as saucers. "I did say that out loud," he remarked then laughed nervously as he turned and noticed that there were several people nearby and a couple of them were close enough to have heard the conversation.
Following the younger man's gaze, Toshi realized the same thing and groaned inwardly at the impression the two of them must be making. "This is gonna' do wonders for the Shinsengumi's reputation," he grumbled under his breath. He looked back at Souji with the intention of telling him to get moving before they could make an even bigger spectacle of themselves...and froze.
"Perfect!" thought the young prankster when his friend finally looked back at him. Souji had already decided to take advantage of the situation and as soon as he caught Toshi's eye, he went into full 'seduction' mode. Tilting his head down just far enough to allow him to glance up from under his lashes and putting one finger to his cheek, he cocked one hip to the side and gave his superior officer a look that could have melted steel.
"This is not happening," Toshi told himself, "he wouldn't dare do this to me again." But one look at his young friend told him that yes, this was definitely happening, again, and there was nothing he could do about it. "Why me?" he moaned as he watched Souji hit his 'pose'. "Please gods, why me?"
"Ah, don't be like that Mr Hijikata," said the little 'temptress in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. And with that he put on the prettiest pout he could manage (which was very pretty) and, walking right up to the bigger man, he reached out and ran a finger down Toshi's chest until it reached the point where his yukata closed,
Toshi practically choked at the thought of what all these people must be thinking as he tried to slap the boy's hand away. Souji wasn't helping matters at all. "What are you doing?" the big man half whispered, half snarled at his young friend. "Are you looking for a reason to commit seppuku?"
"You know I'll be more than happy to repay you... tonight," Souji cooed by way of a reply. "I just want to give this candy to the children at the temple, but I promise to come and play with you after supper vice-commander," he teased wickedly. Then he turned and started hurriedly down the street as fast as his feet would carry him.
"Play with me?" he sputtered. It took a few seconds for Toshi to fully recover from the shock of what had just happened and the fact that the people on the street were equally as shocked didn't help. He managed to shake himself from his mental stupor just in time to realize that Souji was about to leave him out there 'holding the bag' as it were.
"Hey, where the hell do you think you're going?!" Toshi yelled at the fleeing boy. "I'm not done with you yet!" he declared as he started after the young man. Anything was better than standing there being gawked at.
Souji stopped at the corner and looking back said, "Oh don't worry, I won't be long. Then you can have me all to yourself. I'll even let you punish me if you promise to be gentle," he continued, batting his eyelashes and wiggling his bottom to make sure that his audience knew exactly what he meant.
That was the last straw. "You little shit, when I get my hands on you…" snarled Toshi as he took off at a dead run for the corner, intent on teaching the little brat a much needed lesson. He almost made it too. Souji was laughing so hard at his own joke that he didn't realize his much larger and very angry friend was closing in on him until he heard, "Mr. Hijikata, are you blushing?"
Both men had been too engrossed in the situation at hand to notice Heisuke Toudo's approach. But now that he had arrived, and temporarily caught Toshi's attention, Souji took the opportunity to beat a hasty retreat and, still laughing, took off down the street and away from his impending doom.
"Souji, you get back here!" Toshi yelled but the fleeing boy had no intention of getting anywhere near his irate friend for quite awhile.
"SOUJI!" "Well, at least he let you be seme this time," piped up Heisuke brightly.
The poor kid never knew what hit him.
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