Fuyu ga Kureta Yokan
The winter wind howled through desolated marsh and gnawed at her skin. The colorless, bleak sky smeared with gray smug overhead reflected her gloomy mood inside. There was a tinge of crisp chilliness dwelling within the air, as snow slowly fell onto their concrete daybed. People clad in thick warm parks and winter coats hustled after in this frigid, ice-kissed world. Each crystalline crunch of fresh snow left footsteps behind them. It was as if the overlapping footsteps were a proof of their existence and connection in this very moment.
These approaching footsteps, it'll be great if they were you
Even though I know that can't be right
This feeling that sticks with and walks alongside me,
I've started wanting to receive it
After a month the extreme loneliness began to seep into her very blood, and even the winter wonderland around her could not jolt her from that isolated feeling. Within the icy, distant reality she needed to make an unwavering effort in avoiding frostbite. These short days, long nights, humidity and solitary that crept into her bones made them throb for spring again. But with grey days when the sky and ground gave the impression of melting into one, it had reminded her of how timeless winter is.
Spring, where that person promised to come back, suddenly seemed so far, far away.
My wordless sighs are freezing up
This street corner where I stand alone will soon disappear
Your back that I'm searching for
Can't possibly be in this crowd
The streets, located just opposite of the corner where she stood, bustled with a thriving mass of anonymous figures. Even in this frosty winter day, as the dim moonlight struggled through murky clouds, people were still out and about. The crowd pulsated with buzzing energy at concrete pavements and she could feel the Christmassy feeling lingering within the lively atmosphere. If not for the silly, jovial Christmas songs that were currently playing.
Watching the hectic crowd which bubbled with such holiday spirits, she closed her half-lidded eyes and looked away silently.
Today, it would be great if you wanted to meet
Having missed our promise just fills me with regret
Right here and now, I'll give you a call
"Come here right now," I want to try telling you that
The weight of her phone suddenly seemed to double in her hands, with the vicious wind biting her face with ferocity fiercer than usual. It gusted in its wayward ways while visitors continued to pack the local streets in pre-Christmas frenzy. Standing here, alone, everything around her had faded into the background as she stared dully at the screen. Suddenly it seemed unthinkably hard to press the light green button. Just the mere thought of those silken raven strands could send her stomach plummeting northwards, while her eyes stung with longing tears.
Hesitating, puzzling over it, I still haven't decided
Even while tracing the number of stars with my fingertips
That day I've come to love, my chest hurts thinking about it
Hesitating, puzzling over it, I still haven't decided
The night's getting late, I have to decide soon
While coming to like you, it seems I've become a little bit more timid
The day she was pulled into those frail arms and softly cradled, seeing the person lay her head on her right shoulder made her have goose bumps all over. The numbing, almost tingling sensation overwhelming her cheeks were truly unbearable. She had thought she would explode right on the spot. Even if her senior's actions remained a bit awkward and clumsy.
There was no other way to describe it, but what she did know was that every hug she had received after this will be found lacking.
She blinked once more, forcefully trying to hold back the sobs, and carefully slipped the phone into one pocket. The doubling heaviness within her pocket immediately felt as if it was dragging her whole being down to the ground with it. So she looked up, sucking in a breath of icy air, clenching her stiff fists, but all she saw was a depressing grey colour. For a moment she wondered if she will be swallowed by it as the sun did. Freed of all the harsh, ice-cold reality surrounding it.
Because that's the kind of weak, emotionally feeble person she was.
These approaching footsteps, it'll be great if they were you
Even though I know that can't be right
This feeling that sticks with and walks alongside me,
I've started wanting to receive it
Every breath she took gave her heat to the air in visible puffs and drawing the icy air into her lungs. Bitter and piercing, the raw winter air surrounded her. Fallen snowflakes had now melted and damped her coat; suddenly the frigid cold seemed to have seeped through her bones, soaking them.
As she passed the snow-coated zebra-crossing to the opposite side, several males and females, presumably friends were gathered around the streetlight. They talked excitedly about the festivals and what they would do, now that the upcoming holidays were near. Even the surrounding adults, kids and elderly people's faces brimmed with happiness, grins like a Cheshire cat. She desperately wanted to smack them and tell them it wasn't fair. Christmas was supposed to be a day spent with family and friends, and yet here she was, walking alone at the late of Christmas Eve while distraughtly missing a certain person.
The sparkling decorations on the window are falling
If I pick them up I feel like crying unexpectedly
I have a premonition, that I'll be able to meet with you
I want to try believing that's no mere premonition
In the midst of her aimless strolling, she had arrived at the distinct center and was now gazing wordlessly at a huge spiked pine tree which stood proudly in the middle of all. It was in a deep fresh green shade with a big rough brown trunk. The tree looked bejeweled with glittering decorations at a distance and was glowing brightly in the darkening skies. Towering above her, it smelled of petrichor, a fresh, clean aroma. Loud, awed and excited gasps rose around her as more people swarmed into the center. The continuously gleaming lights of the Christmas tree made her fell into deep-absorbed thoughts once again. Why was she doing here?
If it's me who wanted to meet, that would be great
Obstinately enduring it all somehow
Right now, our usual place
I want to try going there, you might just be there
A soft murmur, her right hand unconsciously clenched on her chest. Before she could even come to realize it, she had already spun around and was retracing her previous footsteps through the thickening crowds. A small bead of sweat rolled down her pale temple as she quickened her pace, passing the shoulders of countless people, with the frigid winter wind now howling sharply into her ears.
Hesitating, puzzling over it, I still haven't decided
The night's getting late, I have to decide soon
While coming to like you, it seems I've become a little bit more timid
A dense darkness fell upon the world as she stepped out of the distinct entrance. The outside world was void of any glowing lights and jolly Christmas carol songs, but it still didn't stop her. Each footfall crackled the thin frozen puddles that lay embedded in the hardened earth, the grey clouds and scenery barren and lifeless before her as if God himself had put everything to sleep. Only a lone streetlight lightened the snow-covered asphalt road she'd been running on, the small light sphere so dim that it could have been found lost within the sea of lights back at the distinct.
Trees' branches hung low with weight that the snow had bestowed upon them, thin and fragile-looking; they were like those pale arms which held her tight whenever she returned. The town was mostly painted in white, like a fresh crisp piece of canvas. She was lucky as the roads had been thawed today, or otherwise the rising snow would sink right up to her knees or beyond. Even as she ran, the clothes she donned on always felt so thin. In this sheer coldness even the leather fabric was wet.
If inexperienced, even while trembling in the cold
(The premonition winter gave me, that you'll definitely come)
The lingering light was rapidly obliterated by the falling darkness. The town always looked different than it usually was during night times like this. It sweeps the drabness of the day away and makes life mechanized.
My cheeks and heartbeat grows hot
(Such a premonition of winter, that love is calling)
Stars were concealed somewhere behind the black haze that stretched widely above, while the fleeting moonlight bleached the world smeared of grey smug momentarily, before it was suddenly gone.
Her mind raced with blurred possibilities, each more fanciful than the next.
That day I've come to love, thinking about it makes me cry
If inexperienced, even while trembling in the cold
(The premonition winter gave me, that you'll definitely come)
Ahead of the path it glistened like white lapis lazuli, ice crystals on weary concrete. To get to the local river she must evade around lumps of white snow, the soft pallid substance now crystallized and as hard as any rock. For today's Christmas Eve there was just more snow, snow and snow to be seen. Even the naked branches stood within the night air were frozen and sharp. All she could hear was her own crunching footsteps and heavy panting as she continued to run down the lane. Her heart was thumping in rhythm with the deep footprints she left behind her, like a horse's thunderous hoofs on a dirt road as her sore eyes gradually throbbed from the harsh cold.
However, it still couldn't hinder her in seeing the petite figure besides the railing.
Who is that waving to me in the distance?
She paused and stopped running, her frantic breath rising into visible puffs.
(Such a premonition of winter, that love is calling)
At that fraction of a second, exhausted lilac eyes gazed into wine-colored ones; slightly narrowed with humor and mischievousness. The person who stood there broadened her smile into a wide, familiar grin as she continued to stare at the clearly stunned girl.
Suddenly her throat was squeezed out of its remaining saliva, turning incredibly dry. "…N-Nico…chan?" She called out in a nervously shaky voice.
The other person seemed unamused. Instead she spoke, calling the name of her lover, and the younger girl could feel her heart stop upon hearing the short, simple syllable. Everything in the delicately frosted background then halted, while she was motionless in the middle.
The one rushing in my direction surely has to be you
A single tear slid down from Maki's soft, butterscotch eyes at the confirmation.
These approaching footsteps, your footsteps
Are heading straight towards me
The immediacy to her chilled bones and the approaching footsteps will close the empty gap between them, and in that brief moment of time…
This feeling that sticks with and walks alongside me,
You're heading here with the exact same feeling
As slender arms snaked around her waist, she felt breathless as the older girl held on. Maki closed her eyes contentedly in the comfort of Nico's arms and leaned towards even closer.
With one choking squeeze, she grabbed onto the first ray of impassioned light that made the hollowness inside her fade, and remain attracted to the magnetic force that had them bound together ever since the first beginning.
- End of winter one-shot: Fuyu ga Kureta Yokan -
Note: How was the read? In these types of fanfics, I personally do not like adding an author's note at the end, and would usually let the whole fic end at the bold words. Why? Because I'd prefer all readers to continue soaking in the tenderly warm, loving images and sensation of NicoMaki that you (probably) had.
Speaking of which, if you could picture the whole scene throughout reading this, and even really getting into the words, immersing with it, then my aim has been achieved. When I wrote this with the white earbuds screwed into my ears, I really get into the scene. But I don't know, that could just be me. If you have noticed the 'read slowly' in my summary and did it, thus understanding what I meant by those words, then I must thank you in doing so…Oh, though I understand that some parts were jumpy and hurried, as its tempo couldn't fit the song. But overall, hope you enjoyed reading!
By the way, I loved the rap part where Nico (Soramaru) sang. Trouble Busters and Silent Tonight were awesome as well. And I do NOT own the cover image. All credit goes to its rightful owners. (And I'm sorry, Eli, I didn't mean to leave you out... Eli: *twitching eyebrows* ... )
Let me add some things:
This happens at Christmas Eve, where Maki walks alone within the shopping distinct. Nico has gone away to chase her dreams of being an idol and promises her to come back when it's spring. However, when the younger girl misses her greatly she couldn't get courage to call Nico, fearing that she would only get in her way. Therefore, Maki goes out for a walk outside, hoping that the lively atmosphere would help her clear her mind and desires. Then while gazing dully at the huge Christmas tree, she suddenly gets a strange, but oddly convincing premonition and runs to their usual place near the river (see S2E1 for reference, not a very promising place for a date though lol)
I hope this at least cleared up some of your confusions. Since writers are the worst judges of their own work, I will be extremely grateful if you could leave a short review on how you thought of it. Well then, let us meet next time…And oh, the next update will probably be within a month!