Can't Hate You
"Hey, Yuttaaaaa… C'mon, let's go to the bookstore. I wanna buy a new manga."
He is my twin Asaba Yuki. He is really like reading manga and magazine. Everytime there's a new ones, he will rush to the bookstore and buy them. He really likes watching an anime too and he good at playing games.
"But I still have to clean the house."
And I am Asaba Yutta. I'm the elder in here. All the stuff about cleaning is my job. Not just the cleaning but also for everything. I even always keep an eye to my twin because I don't want he get hurts.
"Aaahh… But Yuttaa if we don't hurry it would be sold out!"
Here we go again. He always forced me to obey what he wants. It's not like I can't refuse it but his sense make me can't refuse it, and in the end he always got what he wanted.
"I will finish it soon if you help me out!"
"But I did help you out…"
"Helping me with just sitting on the seat!? Really… Thanks!"
What he was thinking for helping me like that?! He just watched me all the time. But I can't blame him either because he really likes that. Sometimes he help me, I admit it. But just for sometimes!
"Yuttaaaa.. C'mon… I wanna buy it…" pouted Yuki as he grab his twin arms and he won't let go off his arms until the other say YES.
"Yuki, you never change."
"Yeah, I know. So do you. C'mon, let's go to the bookstore."
Yuki pull out his twin without waiting for the answer. Yuki really want that new manga so he will definitely do anything for that even if he must force his twin to accompany him.
Yutta feels so annoyed when the other forced him to go. He really should learn how to give up. It's not like he can always force someone else for his own business.
"AAAHH! It's really SOLD OUT!" Yuki's scream make everyone in the bookstore looked at him.
"Yutta, it's because of you so damn slowly!" Yuki feels so gloomy. Now he feels like he is in a bad luck. He still can't believe with what he just seeing right now.
"What? Because of me!?" Yutta think it's enough already. He always got blamed for everything and now he can't take it anymore.
"Now listen, Yuki. If you help me out then we can come here sooner. It's not like I wanna going with you though. It's more because you always forced me with everything that you WANTED!"
Yuki's eyes widened. He really shocked when heard his twin saying like that. This is never happened before. This is the first time he saw his twin shouted at him. Because of that he don't know what he have to do.
Yutta realize what he was saying to his lovely twin and he got shocked with the words he just said. He didn't mean like that. He didn't mean to hurt his twin's feeling. He just….too much thinking and he slipped away. He covered his mouth and touched his twin shoulder.
"Yuki.. I-I didn't mean like that. You know I-…"
Yuki just silence. He lowered his head and won't see his twin's face.
"I got it!" Yuki said with a lower voice as he walks away. His voice is more like a whisper in Yutta's ears.
Yuki is more and more far away now. Yutta want to chase after him but his body won't move. He trying to shout his twin's name but seems like Yuki can't hear it. Or he don't want to hear it. He even didn't looked back.
Yutta waiting for his twin to come home but as long as he waiting, his twin doesn't show up. He not used to be alone. Every minute and every second time, there's always someone who beside him. No matter what kind of situation is. He pick up the phone and trying to call Kaname, his childhood friend.
"Kaname, is Yuki in there?"
"Hmm,, Yuki? Yeah, he was here before but he left already now."
"Left? Where!?"
"I thought he was home cause he left at dinner time. When my Mom asked him to diner, he don't want to and choose to leave."
"But he wasn't at home now." Yutta's voice sounds like someone who being depression. He feels so lost without Yuki beside him.
"Say,, Are you guys fighting? I know you're always fighting and have an argue, but I feel like it's different. You know…. Yuki's face is so sad and he won't talk with me neither with my Mom. He even didn't saying a single word."
"I-I don't know…. Really…. What should I do?!" Yutta feels like he wants to cry now. His tears began to falling down from his eyes without he noticing.
"Just do what you have to do. You really understand your twin better than me. Now go catch him."
Kaname's words give some courage to Yutta's heart. Suddenly he know where is Yuki go. He feels the light come at him. He feels so alive again.
"Kaname… Thanks…"
Yutta running to the outside without wear his coat. He didn't care with everything surrounding him. All he can think right now is Yuki. Just Yuki on his mind now. He running towards the park they used to play together when they're child. His face…. His body… Full of sweat. He is out of breath. But he still keeps running. He wanna see his twin as soon as possible.
Yuki still sitting on the swing at the park. No one in there. He feels so lonely. He's sad and he wants to cry. He tightened his grip, really tight until he feels so hurt in his hands. Because with that he can forget his pain a bit.
He didn't think Yutta will say something like that to him. He feels so lost now. He didn't want to go home. He didn't want to see Yutta's face right now. He bites his lips. He feels so cold now even though he wears his coat. He thinks Yutta hate him now. Really HATE him. Just thinking about that makes he want to cry louder. His tears began to falling down. He want to stop his tears but he can't. The tears keep falling down on his cheek.
"Haah…Haah..Haah… There you are.." Yutta trying to gather his breath while speaking as he holds his twin arms. His sweat falls down from his face.
Yuki raise his head to see the one who holding his arms. His eyes widened as his tears still falling down. He looked away when he know who is holding him. He tried to let go off his hands but he can't. The other really holds him tightly.
Yutta's eyes become sad when he saw his twin was crying. He the one who make his twin cried. All of this was because of him. If just he go to the bookstore when his twin ask him then this is wouldn't be happen and he won't said that harsh words.
Yutta touched his twin cheek to wipe his tears. But the other still silent and keep looked away.
"Yuki, sorry. I really am sorry. That's all my fault. I didn't mean like that. Really…."
Yutta lowered his body so he can see his twin's face. He grabbed his twin face and makes to looked at him. He saw his twin's tears. His eyes really red. His lips looked so pale.
Really… How long he was in here? How long he was crying?
"Listen to me… Don't think about what I was said today. Just forget about it. It's really my fault. I'm so sorry…"
"Y-You don't have to apologize. What're you saying was true… I-…." Yuki bite his lips. He can't complete his words. His mind goes blank. He didn't know what to say anymore. Yutta really hates him already.
"No, Yuki.. Listen! Maybe all of what I'm saying was true. Not maybe but it's really true! You always forced me. You always make me obeying what you wanted. You're so stubborn. You're annoying. You always do whatever you want without thinking my feeling. It's really pissed me off…. Yet I still can't hate you."
Yutta grabbed his twin arms to his chest. He touched his twin face. He embraced his twin in his arms.
"I'm so lost without you. Please don't do this again to me. It's so hurt to know you're not beside me. Just thinking about it makes me sick!" Yutta's voice sounds like a whisper in Yuki's ears.
"You know, I'm so lost without you too. I'm afraid you will hate me and won't see or talk to me again. This pain burns me inside."
Yutta wipe his twin tears. He rubbed his twin hair and smiled softly.
"BAKA! How can I hate you! Let's go home now. Your body is so cold."
They're go home with their hands holding onto each other. Yuki put his twin hand to his coat. He looked at the other and smiled widened.
Yutta feels so warm just by seeing his twin smiled at him.
"Yuttaaa… I'm starving…" He snuggled in Yutta's arms.
"That's because you haven't eat anything. I cooked your favorite meals. You can eat that when we get home."
"But I wanna eat you…" Yuki grins at his twin as he smells his twin body. "You smell so good, Yutta. Let me eat you.. Hehehe…"
Yutta clench his fist to his twin. Without Yuki noticing, his twin already hit his head so hard.
"BAAKAA! How can I still can't hate you after all of this!?"
"Aaaawwwww… Yuttaaaaa… It really hurts…." Yuki rubbed his head. His face looks really in pain.
"You deserve that!"
Yutta stomps as his face turning red and left his twin behind him. He feels so happy can be with Yuki again. Really, he didn't know what the mean of life without Yuki beside him.