Season 8 e8 Warning I haven't seen anything much of this season! Only what peps have put up on you tube so what follows is a desperately bored brain filling in time with borrowed and made up plot ideas based titbits of scattered info which were not even viewed in the right order. Please don't take this too seriously it's all made up. Please be forewarned this has not been betta'd and everything is probably correctable!
Anyway all that aside... I heard this line while viewing these random clips "I'm afraid I might kill myself" from Cas and I didn't think enough was made of it, I could well be wrong on that of course but for anyone to say this and for no one to respond was just so sad. I had to fix it a bit, only I'm not the best or nicest person to do this and so this weird idea came up... and grew and then expanded. I don't quite know where it ends yet but adding to it whenever I have a minute to spare certainly keeps me entertained.
Don't own anything hence it's not yet been broken.
Opening line from S8E8
"I'm afraid I might kill myself" Cas said bitterly hoping Dean would finally see what he was going through because he really couldn't spell it out any clearer to the man. Only in his distress Cas suddenly realised he'd not only said out loud what was going on in his head but he'd actually broadcast it as well. It took a lot of effort to with hold information from Angel radio and all these new alien emotions running around Cas' mind caused constant energy spikes or broadcasts of his thoughts. Fortunately embarrassment was still utterly alien to him so most of the random stuff he sent he quickly shrugged off as shit happens but this, this one really he wished he'd kept to himself.
Feeling more uncomfortable than Dean looked Cas just stared at his stunned friend. Luckily the silence was short lived as Sam strode quickly into the room laden with news on a new case. Cas near flew over to Sam's side desperate distance himself from that thought and focus on anything else instead. The normality of Sam's droning voice calmed him down instantly bringing him back to his senses 'who the hells going to be listening to me anyway?' he thought dismissing the importance of those words;the significance of that little cry for attention. 'All the angels all think I'm dead, lost or completely bonkers; who's really going to care?'
Ooo
Upstairs Cas' unique form of madness has the complete opposite effect.
After a hard day's skirmishing and smiting most angels like to tune in to catch up with whatever 'Crazy Cas' has been up to in his strange little life today. Some Angels consider him a meagre but compelling distraction while others hang on to his every word as Castiel has become to them classic comedy entertainment. 'Pull my finger' is now quoted dozens of times a day by those angels who are developing a sense of humour and as a quandary by those who are still struggling with the concept. Cas' latest words however are not funny. Heaven stands dead still after hearing him say these terrible words.
Even Michael and Lucifer (Who still like to keep in touch) stop fighting in disbelief at what they just heard. The endless queuing souls in hell wonder at the silence as the two angels exchange glances. "Could we have paid him a little more attention?" Lucifer asks.
"We're his brothers not his father. We are not responsible for this" Michael replied hotly "And come on we're all a bit messed up with this abandonment thing and he's far from the first angel to do something drastic for attention; it can't always fall onto us 'the first born' to deal with these stupid little outbursts"
"Yes there have been a few, especially lately" Lucifer agreed, his voice soft as he pondered a few of the possible outcomes to this. Lately however his talent to fore tell future events was getting weaker, as if too much free will was clouding his vision. He tutted in frustration, he had loved that talent too it freaked everyone out and made him look so smug. "But none quite as intriguing; that is if 'Angel Radio' statistics are anything to go by. I wish I'd paid his little cause a bit more attention now. What exactly did he want to achieve anyway after he shut the cage door on us and went back upstairs?"
Michael gave Lucifer a long look "Damned If I know. Nothing in heaven is black and white anymore especially with these new lower level angels. They lack our direction..." Michael paused "Actually maybe if I hadn't been so focused on our fight and spent more time seeking a new dimension of crap for us all to fight... or something, heaven wouldn't be so messed up. Imagine if our father came back tomorrow and saw all the chaos up there what would he say?"
"Don't" Lucifer quickly interrupted "You have done more than anyone to carry his torch while he's been away. The others will sort Castiel out; father must have left a plan for this kind of situation"
"He did" Michael said gravely "and from what I can remember it wasn't good. I never really paid it much attention after all our fight took precedence, everything else just fell under the heading 'plan B'. But from what I do remember, well let's just say our fight was by far the lesser of two evils. At least ours ended with heaven on earth. 'Plan B' was to abandon all hope" Michael finished thoughtfully turning his gaze back skyward as if to see what was going on in the world outside.
Lucifer followed suite focussing intently on his internal radio for more information. The stunned silence continued. "Only if you won"
"What?"
"It would have ended with heaven on earth only if you had "won" Lucifer repeated bored stiff with the stunned silence and so filling it with chatter."I wanted something far better, more creative"
"I was always going to win" Michael said with absolute certainly
"Well, now that father has had adequate time to consider my views on well... everything maybe he has reassessed my decision to bestow his boring little creations the beautiful gift of knowledge and realised that I actually made earth a lot more interesting with all the free will, self sacrifice and such so perhaps...(dramatic pause) I already won"
"You're talking rubbish brother. You ruined fathers pet project; he made us to protect his creation and you took your powers and used them to ruin his perfect ideal world. You even twisted his children to make these demon things of yours; you took your powers, your gifts and used them as best you could to offend. I was, I am going to win to save all this from you and your so called creativity"
"Remember the parable of the prodigal son? God has a warped sense of humour on these things you know"
"Only you could describe yourself as prodigal with that much delight" Michael snapped, "And His humour isn't warped it's just lost on you. He wasn't talking about you anyway, your vanity is disconcerting even for me and I expect it"
Lucifer fell silent for a bit glad to have riled Michael a bit, just like the good old days.
"I never liked that parable" Michael said finding all the silence equally as difficult, "The righteous son was hard done by, by all accounts"
"Emphasizing much?" Lucifer said sarcastically "Tell me we're not related"
"All I'm saying is if the end of the world doesn't involve our frigging fight after all this time waiting then I'm going to be real pissed" Michael said showing how pissed 'pissed' meant.
"That's the spirit you perfect little soldier you. Because if no one left Dean in hell or even Castiel in purgatory than of course they aren't going to leave you the ever dutiful, most righteous son of heaven rotting away down here with me, are they?"
"This cage is impenetrable"
"Then where's Sammy gone?"
Michael glared at Lucifer then, long and hard as thoughts occurred to him "There has been a lot of free will amongst the angels lately, a lot of new ideas. Too many unfocussed newbie's, that we admittedly have never taken the time to get to know, are now in a position to run the entire show. Shit. I never thought about it but these lower level cannon fodder guys out number us proper angels a hundred to one, and with me, you, Gabriel, not that he was much use and now Raphael out of the picture who the hell has control? And what now is the plan? Obviously I; uh we don't come into it and we are so going to have to do something about that"
"Well what do you know we agree on something? Unless whoever it is running the show now has a better sense of chaos than..."
"They have stolen our thunder to achieve this" Michael bellowed in self righteous anger "We are the most powerful angels in heaven no one steals our thunder I don't care how much better their plan is ours is as old as time... well earth so we will stop at nothing to gain control again"
"Right then, a fight it is, if of course we can get out"
The two angels stood in mutual silence listening to the radio for more information.
oooo
In heaven someone does have the emergency plan for such a crisis. Cory (Another unknown angel) leader in defending the earth against invading Gods (AKA uncle; in my world Gods must be related, it's the only explanation) descends from the outer limits of heavens vast heights to where the lowest garrison resides. Or at least where they should reside, they're all dead.
"Who the hell is watching over the earth?" Cory demands panicked "No wonder this terrible day has befallen us" He called down the rest of his battalion "Code red guys we have a suicidal angel down here, apparently the last of his garrison gone mad. We must stop him killing himself as..." He pulled out a mystic scroll titled 'Plan B' terrible events which occur if 'Plan A' is ruined and things seem to be going to pot. Cory read down the scroll a bit. As with all biblical type text the wording was designed to ensure maximum monotony mixed with vast amounts of vagueness, but Cory persevered and loosely translated what he could. "Such an act is all it takes to break the seal keeping the gates to heaven closed. Opening these gates would mean losing all the good souls within"
His battalion gasped, where they had been divided on bringing about the apocalypse they could all agree on this being a bad thing.
"We cannot allow this" Cory continued (Spelling out the what's and why's for the benefit of the thick angels among them)"Those souls are our power source and if the lights in heaven go out then we angels will be incapable of defending heaven and earth. We must stop Castiel from attempting this heinous act and save all of God's creation, mostly ourselves, the best part of our father's creation. Even if he doesn't see it himself" Cory then sent a message (prayer?) directly to Castiel over the AR.(AR =Angel Radio, wish I could think of something a little more catchy)
Unfortunately Cas has turned his AR off to concentrate on solving Sam's case so there is a slight delay between him dropping the suicide bombshell and heavens response.
By now Cas has gotten over his fit of depression and found some strange acceptance with himself again. (Sam's words of wisdom to Fred Jones might have had a lot to do with this; Cas likes Winchester advise it always seems so full of wisdom) Cas knows he can't change the past, (well he could actually as he can time travel, but he knows deep, deep down that he's wanted to kill all those dicks for a while now so can't because he won't) but he still craves for reconciliation with what's left of his super massive heavenly family. Before now he had desperately demanded he be let back in to make amends, but now he saw that he had to compromise, to seek forgiveness and slowly maybe never but to at least try his best to earn his way back in.
When Cas eventually turned his AR back on and saw that he had a personal message waiting his attention; the rush of happiness at heavens response overwhelmed him a bit and triggered a quick flash back to when he tried going back to home before only to be stopped in reception and curtly told 'No! Unless I ring my bell you stay out!" (I've since learned this angel is possibly evil, she's just another general dick here) The hurt this caused was incredible. Seeing Sam and Dean were talking rubbish he tuned out to listen to what the heavenly message was about.
"Castiel?" The message repeated awaiting response
"Hello?" Castiel responded, he didn't recognize the caller but with such a vast family this wasn't unusual.
"Finally" Cory sighed slightly annoyed "Heaven is ready to deal with you now. Meet us in a convenient field nearby to talk. Just make sure it's secure as we refuse to take on those dirty human suits for this visitation"
"Okay" Cas transmitted back before returning back to the situation at hand. It is the conclusion to episode 8, and Sam and Dean are looking at him expectantly. Cas has forgotten what he was saying after his little flash back and AR time. He remembers 'shot gun' and 'well done' parts of the conversation, unexpected praise from Dean which actually makes him feel quite mad considering the times he's died and got squat before now. The boy's look like they're ready to leave, it's a good time for Cas to leave too; Sam can keep the front seat. "I uh, um..." creative lying was never easy for Cas "Want stay behind with Mr Jones. Someone should watch over him for a few days just to be safe" He said hoping that would be acceptable or at least make sense.
This clearly is not what the boys were expecting as they both fix him with meaning full looks.
Dean felt like he had just had his prized front seat thrown literally in his face; and by his best friend no less. To him that car was heaven, the driver God and that shot gun seat was what everyone should hope to aspire to. He struggled to think what his father would have done in this situation. Nothing came to mind. Dean felt sick to the stomach but bravely soldiered on "And then what?" he gasped as a little emotion leaked out.
Cas ignored Deans internal struggle. Once it would have intrigued him and he would have stared long and hard trying to comprehend the righteous mans way of thinking; but right now he needed to do good in heavens eyes as well as Dean's. He needed to win back an actual seat of power back home, if that was even possible. "And then I'm not sure but I know I can't run anymore" Cas answered but just as he said it run was just what he wanted to do as he noticed the wounded look Sam was giving him. Cas read into Sam's mind, he was momentarily relieving the pain of his most recent female love loss in a very vivid flash back. Cas struggled to find the relevance of that in this situation. Their friendship didn't and never was going to amount to anything like that Cas was sure.
The hurt on Sam's face however was undeniable as he fixed Cas with an extra sad kicked puppy look. Cas smiled gently and pretended this was not happening, hopefully he was just misunderstanding.
Dean turned on his heel "Sam you with me?" He said marching off before he started lecturing an angel on the damn relevance of the prized shot gun position in his life.
Sam continued to direct his gaze at Cas until even he began to feel awkward. He turned and followed Dean out without a word.
With an internal sigh of relief Cas watched them go. He sat down next to Mr Jones and waited for the roar of the impala pulling away to make sure they wern't coming back. As he allowed himself to relax he remembered to be insulted that Dean had totally forgotten his whole 'I might kill myself' speech from earlier 'and they say I have no bloody feelings!' he thought as he got up to go meet up with his holy brethren.
Ooo
"What's taking so long?" Michael asked always impatient for results
Lucifer has a far better grasp of what Cas is like having spent two hours over all with him and having a far better if not twisted sense of emotion than his brother. "He's walking and gets easily distracted"
"Walking?" Michael spat like the word hurt him "Is he alright?"
"He likes human peculiarities"
"Now what?"
"He's still walking; it's quite a slow process"
"I shall order him to hurry up"
"No" Lucifer snapped "He's deliberating"
"Deliberating?" Michael said listening to what quiet random words he could read from Castiels mind from such a distance (like Lucifer could make contact with Sam despite him being hidden from angels) "He's watching bugs, he's nuts" Michael said irritated.
"He's saying good bye to the things he loves pay attention. I love this kind of angst reminds me of the moment's hesitation I had before I truly fell. Remember when..."
"Please don't go over this story again it was so boring the first thousand times" Michael said further irritated " You know your problem? You're too in touch with your inner female teenage angst. If you're going to continue to dwell on the past and I can see by that 'bitch face' you're giving me that you are, than at least edit it down to the bare facts. I'm not interested in every last insignificant detail Lucy, no one is; it's just all some sort of pretext to yet more bloody pointless angst"
"The devil is always in the detail" Lucifer said deadly serious as he remembered his own downfall thanks to a certain toy soldier in a certain stupid impala. Spitefully he turned his anger on Michael "You know if you'd have bothered to pay attention to me back in the day then we really wouldn't be here now. We would be up there hitting our little brother over the head with wet socks and stopping him from destroying all creation instead! So stop with the constant rush when..."
"Gentle men!" Crowley said entering the deep hidden hellish dungeon containing 'The Cage' "Your silence is deafening, sorry, predicable, over used I know. But what's going on here? Where's the eternal fighting? "
"Events back home just got interesting" Lucifer answered meeting Crowley's smug manner with a rich smugness of his own.
"Fill me in wont you?" Crowley asked his superior manner still intact
The Angels looked at each other and spoke secretly via AR, something that really ticked Crowley right off
"If Cory fails, and let's face it our Castiel is one sneaky bastard, then we could use Crowley's help swatting that little gnat. After all Cas is partly why we're stuck in this infernal place, well why I'm stuck in this infernal place" Michael broadcast'ed? bitterly .
"And If Crowley were to fail then no one's going to be keeping us in here! It could be a win win situation or just an excuse to mix things up for those newbie angels upstairs" Lucifer replied
The angels nodded agreement and turned their attention back to Crowley "Sure" they both agreed with their sweetest most sincere smiles.
Crowley felt an involuntarily shiver run down his spine, angels are all sneaky bastards and he hated every single last one of them.