"M'gann." I heard him knock against the door softly. "We need to talk."
I hesitated. I didn't want to see him, after knowing that I was wrong. I was a horrible person doing horrible things and he knew it. I didn't want him to judge me. I didn't want him to look at me with hatred and tell me that he was right and I was a monster.
I opened the door and hung my head as he walked inside, shutting the door behind him. He said nothing, only stood there looking awkward.
"Conner…" I looked up into his blue eyes. "I screwed everything up. I'm sorry."
He held open his arms and I walked into them. He let me cry in his shit without asking. He knew what I did, and I knew that I would never gain his forgiveness.
"Is Aqualad?" He hesitated. "Gone?"
I let out an ugly sob as my chest moved up and down violently. "I…I don't know… I hope not. Oh God Conner…I hurt him…I screwed it all…"
He held me, brushing his fingers through my hair soothingly. His touch seemed to calm me down. It in no way made my heart race any less when I decided that I needed to tell him everything. He had a right to know, and I couldn't just hide it all from him. Not from Conner.
He pushed me away, looking into my eyes. He brushed the tears from my cheeks and I tried to smile, sniffling. His touch had that effect, making me calm as if he could just smile and everything would be okay.
"I'm sorry you're hurting M'gann, but why are you so upset?" His brow knitted in confusion. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
There was the sting. I turned away, folding one arm around my waist, contemplating. I had no idea how he would react to this news. Nightwing had basically betrayed us by not telling us, rather not trusting us with all of this. Conner would have a fit; he and Nightwing were good friends. We had all been there when Artemis died. He had lied to our faces.
"Conner." I turned back around, he looked nervous. "Nightwing was working with Kaldur."
"No." He shook his head pausing. "That's not possible. Nightwing is one of us."
"But Kaldur is too. Artemis…" I paused, watching him flinch just by the mention of her name. This would be hard. "Artemis…is still alive. She is working undercover with Kaldur to infiltrate Black Manta's ship."
He said nothing. He didn't even blink, just looked at me with those icy blue eyes. I could see his mind racing, working through all that I was firing at him. I felt like I was stabbing him. It was painful to watch. I didn't have to read his mind to know he thought I was lying.
"She had no heartbeat…" He muttered looking down. "No, no it's not possible."
"It is. She was Tigress." I walked closer to him. I could see him getting angry, seeing no hole in my logic.
"But, they kidnapped Blue and Impulse! M'gann, they blew up the cave!" He practically yelled, as if it was my plan.
"I know, I know." I said shaking my head. "But in his mind, it was so that it would seal his place with the Light."
"So Nightwing…lied to us?" He narrowed his eyes. "M'gann, why would he do that?"
"I don't know." I sunk down into a chair in the living room, leaving him standing in the hall still. "Maybe he doesn't think we are reliable enough."
"Maybe he doesn't think we are trustworthy." He muttered, walking over to me. "But you saw all this in his mind."
I nodded again, remembering the pain. I crippled him. I was worse than the people we would go after. I literally invaded his mind and left him there paralyzed. I buried my face in my hands, feeling more guilt than I'd ever felt before.
"So Wally thinks she's dead?" He sat down in the chair opposite from me, not noticing my inner battle, or at least not commenting on it.
"No." I pulled my hands away, drained. "Wally is in on it."
He shot me a glare. "So those four know, but not the other two from the team? I am going to fry Nightwing."
"No." I looked to him, my eyes tired and red. "No more violence. Kaldur is already gone and it's my fault."
"Is that what this is about?" He turned back to me. "You're worried about Kaldur?"
I nodded, forcing myself not to cry again. He got out of the chair and sat up on his knees in front of me so we were eye level. He put a hand up to my cheek and I closed my eyes, missing his touch. We had been together for so long, it seemed like just yesterday that we were in love and everything was perfect.
"Kaldur will be fine, I promise." He smiled at me, "You didn't kill him, we will get him back I know it."
"But you were right! I was going too far! I hurt Kaldur and he was one of us. I may have just blown the whole plan that we weren't even supposed to know about!" I felt a tear fall and I saw it land on his hand cupping my cheek.
"But now that you know, you can stop." He said, dropping him smile. I felt more tears fall. How could I have been so stupid to do this to people? More important, how could I have been so stupid to do this to him? I really hurt him. I should never of hurt him, we had so much.
"I'm so sorry Conner. I really am, for everything. I have been horrible and I see it now, and I'm sorry." He wiped off a tear with his thumb again leaving a trail of heat in its wake. He tilted his face to the side and smiled.
"Come on." He picked me up like I weighed nothing. I buried my face in his shirt like a child. He had always smelled so sweet, not cologne, but more of a natural just Conner smell. He pushed open the door of Manhunter's bedroom effortlessly. He set me down on the messy bed and smiled at me.
"Can you stay with me?" I asked, feeling stupid. I didn't mean it in a here-lets-sleep-together-way, although it was kinda flustering having him in the bedroom. He gave me an odd look and I got worried he'd reject me. "Just for tonight."
"Sure." He sat down next to me and I curled up next to him, letting him warm me. Eventually he kicked off his shoes and crawled under the blankets with me, saying nothing. After a few minutes I fell asleep. He probably drifted off a few minutes later. We would sort it all out in the morning. We would have to.
There was so much that we needed to talk about, that we needed to sort through. I needed Conner at my side through it all. We needed to set things right. I needed to set things right.