THE REAL AMY ROSE
They think I'm obsessed. That I'm ever hopeful. That I'm incapable of understanding the word "No". They're wrong. I keep trying because I don't want him to think I'm weak. He never gives up, so I won't either.
It hurts. Gaia, how it hurts. Having my heart broken again and again. I hate it. I wish I could hate him. But I can't. So I hate myself for loving him. They think I should stop. Why can't they see? If I could, I would. I don't enjoy this. It f*cking hurts. Always.
If he found someone, if he truly loved them, I would give him up. Not immediately. First I'd make sure that they felt the same. Beyond any and all doubt. After that, I'd be their best friend. I would teach them, show them, everything I know; everything to make him happy. At the wedding I'd be silent. Forever hold my peace. If you truly love someone, you let them go. I truly love him.
It would kill me. Slowly, but eventually. Broken hearts can be fatal like that. It would be an agonizingly painful death, but never would a single whimper past my lips. Nor a single tear fall from my eyes. A third, silent vow would have been made that day of holy matrimony. "Forever hold my peace." He never breaks his word, so neither will I.
Suicide would be quicker you might say. And less painful. Certainly less painful. But suicide is the same as giving up. Calling it quits. He wouldn't, so I won't. I never will. If that means I must suffer silently then so be it. I'll be strong. I wouldn't take the easy way out.
I don't want him to think less of me.