Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood. You know that.
Before I Knew You
It was a slow night at the bar Jack had returned to. The door rarely swung open. Every time it did, Jack glanced up and scanned for someone – a distraction, really.
It was funny. For centuries, he had avoided Earth as if it were the plague. And yet, here he was for the second time in his week; in the same bar, no less. As if he had an appointment to keep. His issues with Earth…were all but resolved. He might even settle here for awhile. Take up a new name, become somebody else, lose himself in the mundane. Start anew. Stop and breathe. His world had changed, would change in the blink of an eye. He was rather looking forward to it. Maybe he should go looking for the lost Torchwood Four? He realised he actually missed it a little, Torchwood, after all these centuries. It was amazing how much could change in a few days. The blink of an eye.
And yet, an hour into the night at the bar, and nothing had changed. Nobody who looked remotely interesting had wandered in through the doors. And Jack wanted somebody interesting. For a talk. Maybe more. It was remarkable that he was even entertaining the thought. It had really been far too long.
He was about to give up, about to find somewhere else to grace with his presence and celebrate the renewed burst of life he felt growing within him when the door swung open again. The man who strode through caught Jack's attention immediately. Brown hair. Thin. Almost athletic. Or cat-like. His eyes? Jack couldn't tell the colour from where he sat. Actually, the lighting in the place made it damn near impossible to see much at all. There was a spark in them, a twinkle of life and animation. But it was something else that had pulled his attention to the man, the same sort of sparkle, energy, something that he had come to associate with all those that he had really loved throughout his life. Or should that be lives?
Either way, the man he could see at the counter now had the same familiar edge to him that Estelle, Ianto, even John at one point, and all the others who had made their mark on him throughout time. He, like they had, simply radiated with it. He would definitely become someone special in Jack's life. Jack was sure of it. There was an instant attraction he couldn't deny. Which left Jack pondering his approach. It was late twentieth century – he thought, anyway. Timelines and all. – so nothing too open…Not unless he fancied getting arrested and then having to explain why there were (at least) two of him in this time period. He really doubted his younger self would bail him out. He certainly didn't remember doing so. If he found out he was there at all, that was. On a plus side, his Torchwood clearance would still be valid…
Entertaining the idea of popping into the Hub and seeing when things were, Jack didn't notice a thing until the man slid into the seat opposite him with his drink. And as Jack had noted earlier, there really was something familiar about him. It was comforting really, the thought that he might have found someone again, finally.
"Preoccupied?" The distinctly Welsh voice sounded, its owner smiling confidently.
Jack grinned in return. Though it'd been awhile, his charming smile came easily to him. Perhaps the Welsh accent helped there.
"Not anymore. I'm -"
"No names."
Jack raised an eyebrow. Well, this would be interesting.
"Okay…" Jack was momentarily thrown. "Well…you made straight for me. That tells me that you must have a good eye." He winked, his easy grin never fading.
The man sipped at his beer and then took a large gulp, swallowing slowly.
Jack was momentarily impaired by the man's throat. He was rewarded with a smile.
"I'm told it runs in the family." Something twinkled in the man's eyes, as if he were sharing a private joke.
It slammed into Jack at full force. Family eye. My father's a tailor.
Jack's eyes widened and his smile slipped.
"Oh, fuck." He muttered. He couldn't be!
"That's the general idea, yes, My place, yours or the alley?"
The casual remark reminded Jack of a time years ago. No. Years to come, apparently.
"None of the above." He replied sharply.
And yet the man continued in that casual tone, "Well, the bathroom here is anything but clean. The toilets are disgusting. I don't like them at all. It's the button on the top, I think."
I like stopwatches. It's the button on the top.
"Fuck no!" No wonder he'd seemed so familiar! Once placed, Jack could really see it. Mind you, there was a lot of difference…
The man frowned. "Well, I don't have a car. What were you thinking, spaceship?"
Jack stood slowly, shaking. He was still leaning on the table for support. "Sorry, I can't do this."
The man frowned again, his young face creasing slightly. "I'm sorry too. I thought you were interested." He looked genuinely hurt. Jack couldn't bear the look on that face. He sat again, his knees caving in.
"I can't." It'll fuck up the timelines majorly. You aren't supposed to know me yet! But he was oh, so tempted.
"But you want to." It was more a statement than a question. He could read Jack as well as Ianto ever had. Well, the reason for that was obvious.
"Then what are you waiting for?"
Jack paused. He remembered Ianto telling him he'd been a bit of a rebel through his teenage years and into college. He had the (minor) shoplifting offence to prove it. But Jack had never realised how much Torchwood, and Canary Wharf in particular, had changed Ianto.
"I…can't." He tried again, "You…remind me of a friend."
He was instantly more subdued. "Bad thing?"
"I'd give anything to have him in my arms again." The words burst from Jack before he could think to stop them.
The look on the man's face was almost understanding. "What's the story?"
"…dead."
"I'm sorry."
Jack didn't know how to respond to that one. He realised a part of his mind - when he looked back on this night - would probably be laughing at him. He diverted the conversation instead.
"How old are you?"
"Old enough. Legal. College. Willing. Able. Fast-learner. Hard."
Jack barely suppressed a growl. It came out as a low whimper instead. He couldn't believe he hadn't already walked away. He was probably drunk. Hell, they were probably both drunk.
The man leaned conspiratorially across the table. "Won't give a shit whose name you scream coming as long as you come with me." The double entendre was clear in his lowered voice.
Jack couldn't help it. His body responded naturally, as it always had before, to the alcohol, the heat, the adrenaline, and fuck, the very words spilling out of that wicked mouth.
"Fast-learner you say?"
"Yep."
"First time?"
"With a man, yes."
"Can I ask why?"
He shrugged, "There's just something about you that I like. And I've learnt to trust in my instincts."
You were my first you know. The words sprang to the forefront of Jack's mind with a jolt, only clear in his head because it had been the first memory he had relived. A trigger memory, of sorts.
"No. Not like this. You deserve better."
"I want this." And there was that frown again.
"No. I can't."
"What'd you come to the bar for then? Lead me a dance?" He was exasperated now. It was obvious in his voice, even if Jack hadn't spent years learning to read that face. The memory kept replaying in Jack's head. He couldn't shake it.
Bar in London.
Oh.
Suddenly, an epiphany fired off in his brain. He thought back to his first time with Ianto - they'd been nowhere near London. And realised Ianto's first time with him didn't match up. Years before he had met Ianto, Ianto had already met him.
Oh.
Why had he never said anything? Oh, but he did, didn't he? And talking about an event in his linear future…Ianto had more sense than to do that when he was fully awake. But oh, he had changed…so much!
The man in front of him sighed and stood, obviously put off by Jack's silence.
"I see I was wrong. I'll go elsewhere. Excuse me."
He turned and walked away. But Captain Jack Harkness wasn't about to let him walk out of his life so easily. He wasn't about to blink and miss this too. Especially not if he wasn't actually going to mess up their timelines because it had – technically – already happened. Jack was behind him in an instant.
"Not so fast."
The man stopped and spun on his foot, surprising both of them with how close they had been to each other when their heads banged and their mouths clashed together. He took the initiative. He bit Jack's lip slightly and felt him moan against him before he brought the intensity of the kiss up a notch. Jack's mouth opened of its own accord, his tongue slipping across and granting the same access it was allowed. One of Jack's hands slipped up to card through soft brown hair. The other was at the man's back, drawing him as close as was physically possibly. Jack felt hands on his back doing the same. He watched as a blissful expression came over the other man's face, his eyelids fluttering. Call him a fool, or paranoid, but Jack wasn't about to close his eyes this time.
He only stopped Jack when they started fumbling at each others belts.
"Your's, mine, the bathroom or the alley?" He asked. He wasn't even out of breath.
Jack was. Then again, he was out of practice too, and definitely no match for that wicked mouth, untrained though it was.
"You don't want the bathroom, I don't have a place here"-yet. He amended to himself - "and the alley's no place for your first."
He grinned. "And I don't have a spaceship."
"I'm not a virgin. You're just my first guy." Something glinted in his eye. "Mine then?"
"Live alone?"
"Yep. Me and the coffee machine."
Jack had to smile at that one. Suddenly he was glad Ianto hadn't told him much. What Ianto hadn't told him then couldn't dictate his actions now.
"Okay. As long as I get to stay the night. And try some of your coffee. I'm sure you're amazing."
The man gave a short laugh in return. "Simply orgasmic." He purred.
"You or the coffee?" Jack quipped.
The smile he received in turn twinkled at him and seemed to lighten his very soul. "Both."
Jack smiled. "Like I said, I'm sure."
Later that night, Ianto was too far gone to register as Jack repeated his name like a mantra. Too far gone to even realise that he had never given his name. And Jack was too far gone to realise he shouldn't be using Ianto's name, because it was before he knew him.
FIN