Batman meets the Bee
Hey guyzes! This is just a random fanfic so to anyone who likes anything random and loves to see Batman suffer then you'll LOVE THIS!!!
This original idea came from my friend Ben during maths class – I was bored and I had to doodle something – and by the time I had coloured in the sketches in English I knew it would make a funny fanfic. Anyway, enjoy!
Batman and other characters belong to DC comics. Bruce the Bee belongs to Seth MacFarlane, Family Guy.
** ** ** **
It was a random, sunny day in Gotham City.
Batman was bored.
He was tired from fighting crime and wanted a day off.
"Alfred", he grumbled,"I'm going to spend the day in the countryside 'cause I'm bored"
"What about the citizens of Gotham?", Alfred replied.
"Citizens? Screw them! Because of them, Rachel is dead! Because of them, I look like a dodgy paedophile dressing up like a bat!"
Alfred's eyes nearly popped out of his head.
"Master Wayne! How could you say such a thing?! Your parents were citizens of this city!", he cried.
"Yeah, but they were bastards themselves. They took their lives just to get rid of me! And then I had this police officer with me who I thought was pervy 'cause he kept offering me sweets. I think his name's Jim something... they were here now I'd strangle them with my new grapple!", Batman chuckled delightedly at the thought.
"My God, you really have issues, don't you?", asked Alfred.
"...Yes", replied Batman, and flew out of his apartment. Alfred stood alone in the apartment.
"Oooh! Yaldi!", exclaimed Alfred, and phoned his friends to come round to play Candyland with him.
** ** ** **
Within half an hour, Batman was away from the noises of traffic and in the peaceful countryside. When he landed on the ground, he noticed the hundreds of flowers in the field. Batman's grin increased.
"Zomigods!!! Flowers!!", he exclaimed and skipped along the fields, picking up a flower here and there. Then he spent half an hour making daisy-chains for his friends. Then he realised he didn't have any friends. He picked a bouqet of flowers absent-mindedly for Rachel, only to realise she had been dead for a couple of weeks now. his anger grew.
"Rachel... RACHEL... RACHEEEELLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!", he roared in the deserted field. Batman realised he hadn't taken his pills that morning, and if he didn't take his pills - it. Wasn't. Pretty.
Just then, a bee passed by Batsy.
"Oh hey, y'all best be careful or I'm gonna sting you with ma stinger", announced the bee in a monotone, gay voice. Batman would have been bewildered if he had ever met a talking bee but for once he couldn't be bothered.
"My name's Bruce", said the bee, "Can we be friends?"
"Piss off, Bee boy", grumbled Batman.
"Ooh, now now. We don't need that language!"
"I said. Piss Off!"
"I'm just being friendly", Bruce chuckled," I just said Bee and then Ing. I likes to think of myself as a comedian"
"PISS OFF!", roared Batsy.
"Ooh! My Word, is that how a bat talks? You see, I'm the curious type"
Batman swatted the bee angrily with his cape. The bee became annoyed.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you", warned Bruce. Batman ignored him and punched him, almost spraying spit. The bee fell to the ground and groaned.
"Oh noes, you punched me! Oh! I can see right up them trousers! Not that I'd like to point out the obvious", replied Bruce. The bee suddenly flew up and stung Batman in the arm. Batman screamed in pain.
"Oooh! This feels lovely!", exclaimed the bee happily. Batman sunk to the ground and lay down. His breathing became hoarse and he eventually went quiet. He was dead.
"Oh noes! I's killed you!", cried Bruce the Bee. Then the obvious hit him, "Oh noes! That means I's gonna die, too! Goodbye cruel, sexy world!"
The bee suddenly fell to the ground, dead.
** ** ** **
The next morning, the Joker opened the newspaper, only to find in black and white - "BATMAN DEAD BY BEE STING! BEE ALSO DEAD BUT WAS FOUND CARRYING A HANDGUN. OTHER BEES WITNESS INCIDENT. "Oh Noes!", THEY EXCLAIME."
"WHAT?!",roared the Joker. He couldn't believe it. A bee had completed his ambition by one simple bee sting. The Joker felt like crap. He shuffled into his mini-kitchen. Harley was there making a pie.
"Hey Mr J! Wanna try some of my pie? I know you'll want seconds!", winked Harley. The Joker didn't respond.
"What's wrong pudding?", she asked, concerned. The Joker growled angrily.
"BITCH!!! MAKE ME A CHEESE SANDWICH!!!!", he screamed. Harley jumped back alarmingly.
"Sure. No problem, Mr J! But there's only Weightwatcher's goat's cheese left", she replied.
The Joker growled again.
And they all lived happily ever after! ... Well, not really! :S lolz!