LOVE OR DIE
(Garota Inu)
Prologue: THERE AND BACK AGAIN.
Run Run Run!
Kagome ran through the forest with the fastest speed her human legs could summon. The monster chasing her was reason enough for her to do so.
Fast Fast Fast!
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?", she screamed in terror, seriously wanting to know why. The youkai suddenly attacking her and then chasing her down without saying any words of why, without demanding anything.
It made no sense.
Kagome grunted. Tears pooling on her eyes as she gripped her side when it started to burn from the violent effort. She didn't know how much longer she could run, but she still did. For her love she still ran – even faster – cursing all the spirits she knew, specially that general…
Ohh, that damn Dog General… Pig!
How could he do such thing to his own son? Wishing on a star for his son's death; how could a father do this? 'This is crazy!', she thought. But she couldn't say she didn't understand his reasons. Inu no Taishou feared for the humans and wanted to be sure of their survival. So, as his dying wish, he wished on a star that, if Sesshoumaru doesn't find himself a mate who he could truly love until the day of his 1000th birthday he would die, for the world would never be safe with a taiyoukai like Sesshoumaru. Incapable of love. Kagome agreed with that until she fell in love with him and was okay with that because she could tell he loved her back…
The problem was that he never said it.
Cassiopeia, the star Lord Inu wished on, said that if Sesshoumaru couldn't bring himself to do something as simple as to say it, to put his pride aside for love... Then he didn't love enough to be alive.
"What about Rin?", she asked the star when they first met; when her feelings for Sesshoumaru weren't more than a crush in analysis. "He clearly loves her as he would his daughter."
"Agreed. But one child is not enough to change the vision he has of humanity. The girl is merely an exception he found."
"But why me?"
She remembered the star smiling an one-sided smile and shrugging as she answered "Who else would have the heart to love a monster that hasn't got one?"
It was during a battle she was assisting him with that she decided to help him to stay alive. She'd try to love him and make him love her back. And well, she did. But not enough.
Now, there she was: running for his life.
Faster Faster Faster!
The moment Kagome broke in a clearing, a blinding, greenish light exploded around her and she fell; the grass and pebbles scratching her arms, legs and face. But, really that was her smallest problem right now. A cold, big hand grabbed her wrist and brought her up and off the ground, forcing her to face-to-face with the enemy. But darkness beat him to it, claiming her consciousness first.
It was the first time Kagome ever felt happy about fainting.
The first thing she registered was the feeling of waking from a two-week sleep. She didn't feel refreshed or full of energy; it just happens when you take a little nap. The longer you sleep the heavier you feel when you wake up. Kagome was sure she didn't sleep for weeks – or even half an hour –, but she sure felt like she did. Her arms weighted like trees and it felt like someone was sitting on her torso. She opened her eyes and her heart nearly stopped when she realized the one lying on top of her was Sesshoumaru, but she sighed when she saw he was unconscious.
Unconscious! Kagome was sitting in a second, holding Sesshoumaru's upper half in her arms. "Sesshoumaru? Sesshoumaru, wake up!" He was all sweat, his bangs were glued to his skin, but his body felt cold to the touch. "You can't! It's not even midnight, Sesshoumaru, come on!"
A giggle brought her back from despair and she turned her head to see Cassiopeia sitting on a large rock doing nothing. Rage took over in a blink. "You! Where were you?"
The star raised her hands as if surrendering. "Easy, child, easy… You are not like this." That's right, she was not. But the man she loved was dying, so she thought she could lose it a little.
"Save. Him!" She growled. Seconds were precious and that star-girl was wasting them! "Do something!"
"You know it does not depend on me, Kagome." Cassiopeia shrugged apologetically. "It's on him."
"Then wake him up!"
She did.
Suddenly Sesshoumaru jolted up to all fours and started coughing his lungs out, which caused his skin to redden and eyes to water. In all her journey, she never saw Sesshoumaru even sighing, but now she was watching him cough, sweat, drool, breath… 'I'm watching him die…!' No! She won't let him! Kagome ran to his side and helped him regain his breath. "Swallow and breathe deeply – Just swallow to moist you throat and breath calm––" He covered her face with his hand and then pushed her aside carelessly.
Kagome landed on her behind and despite all her efforts not to blush because of Cassiopeia's giggling she felt her cheeks burn, but her eyes never left Sesshoumaru's. She was not offended by his (lack of) manners; Kagome knew how much pressure he must be under right now with death at his door, how frightened he must be… She could tell by the way he began swallowing and the way he forced himself to breath deeper and slower. How much scared must Sesshoumaru actually be to listen to her? Kagome crawled back to him and helped him up.
"Sesshoumaru… Please, understand", started looking pleadingly at him. "It's just three words!"
The taiyoukai swallowed again and licked his lips before glaring in her eyes and answering "I do not lie."
"You won't be lying and you KNOW that!" Kagome growled and stomp her foot like a teenager throwing a tantrum over a denied new dress. "You love me…"
Sesshoumaru narrowed his eyes. "I will not repeat myself, Miko."
"Oh, don't even think about evading this! Coward!" She was pacing around in order not to punch him and break her hand, but his pride and stubbornness were making it rather difficult. She pointed a finger at his face. "You kissed me!", she said triumphantly.
"I have kissed many before."
"But not after."
They stood there glaring at each other, the silence being the perfect and only soundtrack for that scenario until a giggle broke the tension. "It's more like they kissed you, Taishou-sama." Cassiopeia said while jumping down the rock. She made her way to them and put her hand on Kagome's shoulder, smiling. Kagome knew that smile very well; she had given it many times before, especially in the feudal era. "I'll help you, Kagome."
It was like the weight of a bigorna was taken from her shoulders, even her breathing became easier. "How?"
"You'll see.", she tapped the girl's back and took a few steps aside. "You two have a few minutes to say good bye."
Say good bye? So, Sesshoumaru was still going to die? Kagome wanted an explanation, but felt like she hadn't the right to. Cass said she was going to help them and she had to trust her. She had no one else, after all. "I'll open a portal. It will send you to the place where you started and keep you untouched by time.", the star explained.
Kagome was about to ask what she meant, but surprisingly Sesshoumaru beat her to it. "What will you do exactly?", he panted.
The star shrugged. "I'll rewind time. However, I'll make sure Kagome remembers everything, so she can start wrapping you around her finger sooner.", she laughed when he growled, but didn't contradict it. "Now, bid your farewells while you still can, my children."
It was strange for Kagome. Would she never be going to see this Sesshoumaru – the one that kissed her out of the blue, that took her to fly over the ocean, the one that almost killed her more times than her fingers can count, the one that finally forgave Inuyasha for being hanyou because of her simple words –, never again? A lump formed in her throat and tears overflowed her eyes. She'd make him love her again, okay, but not with the same ways, same looks, same words… Hell, she had no clue of how to do that, how she made it. She raised her eyes to him. Sweaty, breathless and paler than ever. "You could end all of this in one second, you know?"
Sesshoumaru looked away. Cold he may be, but this girl had made something in him change and now, he could not bear to see her sad. Sesshoumaru never lies, he evades, but not internally; never to himself. But he still had not been true with himself regarding this woman. He did not know what would happen with him if he did.
"At least give me something to hold on to, Sesshoumaru, please…" he heard her weep.
And that broke him. He fell to his knees, exhausted, and Kagome was already holding him. He took the chance to burn her scent into his memory – no, to his soul –, so even when time rewinds he would remember her unique scent that he loved so much… Sesshoumaru's eyes caught a glance of the skin of her shoulder and could see freckles there that he never noticed. Now that he had little time left, even her freckles were something he cherished. Inside of him, Sesshoumaru cherished her wholly, he cared for her, wanted her, he… Loved her. His eyes drifted shut. To finally let it free and flow through him was something so intense Sesshoumaru choked on his own breath, but the feeling was wonderful. He had always avoided those feeling, ignored them, and now that he finally acknowledged their existence, he did not seem capable to lock them up again. He felt all the urges he thought he could not feel: wanted to kiss her for hours, wanted to let all the world know she was his and his alone, wanted to spend every possible minute with her, and have pups, he wanted to see her dressed in purple, silver and gold; his colors. He wanted everything, even those new feelings. They were flowing through him freely.
And it felt good.
"Willows.", the taiyoukai whispered.
"What?" Kagome knew his kind of favorite tree is the willow, but – what about it?
He coughed. "Make sure the first time I see you, you are under a willow."
"Okay, but… Why are you saying these things?" She wanted to cry. Kagome'd got to be strong for him, but it was beyond her capacity. He wasn't making sense anymore! "Tell me…"
Sesshoumaru clutched his stomach, feeling his insides as if they were melting. Breathing hard, he explained – gave her something to hold on to. "I want you to succeed."
Kagome gasped, shocked. Did he mean that… "I love you!" She threw her arms around him and smelled his godly scent of lightning storms. "So much!"
He felt bad, of course he did. But she had to understand. Sesshoumaru was widely known for his cold, ruthless, emotionless, cruel personality, superior skills and power; he was a taiyoukai. Since the second he was born, he was raised to be a warrior, a ruler, a Lord. Not a common male, one that could waste time loving someone. He grew up in a time, environment where everything was about war. Every inch of him screamed danger, rage and war… How could he even talk about love now?
Suddenly the whole clearing went white and the wind began rushing as though a tornado was forming. But it was the portal, sucking everything inside just like Miroku's kazaana. It was almost midnight. "Kagome, hurry!", Cassiopeia urged, raising her voice above the wind roar. "The portal won't be open forever!"
The girl pressed his body to her even more as tears rolled down her face to pool on his kimono. "Just say it… you just have to say it… please, don't make me do this – I don't even know how to make you love me!", she begged.
Sesshoumaru breathed deeply and put all his strength to keep his eyes open and keep breathing when all his body wanted to do was lay down and sleep. But he looked in her eyes for her to see what he was trying to convey. He traced the line of her jaw with trembling fingers. "You did it once.", he murmured shakily. "You can do it again."
Kagome didn't have time to feel joy or despair, because as soon as he said those words, the portal wind pulled at her with such strength it was bizarre. She grabbed on his sleeves for dear life. "No! Stop! Sesshoumaru!"
The taiyoukai gathered energy and was able to move to take her wrist, but even the wind was stronger than him now. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold her for long, but he didn't want to let her go.
Ready to close, the portal sucked the hardest and Kagome was pulled into that wind tunnel, ripping the hem of his sleeve off.
Years from that moment she was sure she will remember what she saw before going unconscious. Sesshoumaru fell to the ground, wide eyes never leaving her, dead, but as his last movements, he stretched out his hand on the grass to her, and his lips said her name… And Kagome could only take so much. She fell and fell, leaving behind the most desperate scream to echo through the world.