Before We Were Famous
Memoirs from our early days at the Decepticon War Academy
Chapter 1 – The First Day
A long time ago, very soon after our creation, in the days prior to the Great Wars and towards the end of the Golden Age, Decepticons were sent to the Cybertron Combat Training and Intelligence Academy to complete basic military training. But that's its proper name – we just called it the War Academy.
The Autobots had their own Academy, and we had ours, before the two were merged to become the War Academy as it stands today. We occasionally got to interact with them during special events like competitions, but back in those days it wasn't anything like it is nowadays. In those days, we weren't at war with them.
My time at the Academy was a big highlight for me. I learned a lot of stuff about war and combat, it's true, and I also learned a lot about myself, but the thing I remember most about the time I spent there is the fun we all had in what eventually became known as the Prank Wars. No one was immune from them – not even our instructors, or the Autobots, for that matter. If you'd have asked anyone, they'd have probably told you that I was the biggest troublemaker of them all – Decepticon or Autobot. Well, I don't know about that, though I can say with all sincerity that I wasn't always the one responsible, regardless of how much I would have liked that to be true.
But, let's just start at the beginning. We'll get to the Prank Wars later, I promise. The following stories are actual memoirs from our early days at the War Academy, when many of us were… well, still a little fresh off the assembly line, if you know what I mean. If nothing else, I hope you get a real kick out of them, as I did.
Δ Skywarp
This day marked a momentous occasion in the life of every new Decepticon recruit. Each had been carefully selected, after enduring a month long entry process, to undergo year-long basic military training. Once this was complete, each recruit would go on to specialise in their chosen area of expertise – combat, intelligence, communications, science, technology, and politics, to name just a few. Then they would be ready to go out into the world and join the official Decepticon ranks.
Skywarp was just one of the many hundreds of new recruits gathered in the assembly hall, which was filled to capacity. It was already late evening, yet the hall was still crowded and noisy with the new intake of students for the year. Amidst the mayhem, recruits attempted to organize themselves into groups according to their assigned Houses, more than a little eager to find out whom they would be sharing their quarters with for the rest of the year.
"Sky! Hey, Sky, over here!" Thundercracker waved a hand in the air to get Skywarp's attention, and then pushed his way through the crowd to reach him. "I've been looking all over for you. Thought I'd lost you for good."
Skywarp held a data pad in his hand; he'd been staring down at it in mild confusion. "Hey, Thundercracker." He looked up at his friend and smiled. Thundercracker was one of the few Decepticon recruits that he already knew – in fact, Thundercracker was one of his best friends.
"Everything okay?" Thundercracker said, pointing to his friend's data pad.
"Hm?" Skywarp looked back down at the pad. "Oh. Yeah, I just don't get what I'm supposed to do."
"Let me see that." Thundercracker grabbed the pad from his hand and studied it for a moment, then looked back at him and grinned. "Congratulations. Looks like we're house mates. See? You've been assigned to House Delta – same as me." He showed Skywarp his own data pad.
"Oh, that's great," Skywarp said, smiling. Then he looked around. "I wonder who else has been assigned to House Delta?"
In that instant, there was an announcement made over the loud speaker. The noise in the assembly hall temporarily subsided as the front desk attendant spoke. "Welcome to the Decepticon Academy. Um, if you still haven't been assigned a House, please make your way to the front desk. Schedules and campus maps are available here if you don't already have them. Everybody else, enjoy the rest of the night… but don't stay up too late. Orientation begins in the morning."
Thundercracker shrugged. "Dunno. Let's get out of here and find out."
"I'm not sure how to get to our Sector, let alone our assigned House…" Skywarp said uncertainly.
"Don't worry; I think I know where it is. Come on," Thundercracker said, and led the way out of the assembly hall.
On their way along the myriad of walkways through the large campus grounds, the two seekers walked by several other new recruits, loud and boisterous, who staggered past with empty cans of energon in their hands. Lots of partying and loud music could be heard in the distance, presumably coming from the various Houses.
"Wooohooooooo!" one recruit yelled out, laughing, as he brushed past Skywarp. Then he carelessly threw his empty canister over his shoulder, which bounced off Skywarp's wing tip before clattering to the floor.
"Hey, watch it!" Skywarp called out, and turned to look behind him, but the Decepticon recruit appeared oblivious to everything around him, obviously in a drunken stupor.
"He's totally wasted," Thundercracker said, stating the obvious.
His friend stared after the reveller for a little while longer, before turning to look at him. "Think that'll be us in a few hours' time?"
Thundercracker laughed, clapping Skywarp on the back. "We could do worse, I suppose."
I remember that first day like it was only yesterday. That's when I first got to meet many of the Decepticons that I'd be spending the rest of my life with. Almost immediately, I felt that it was fate that had brought us all under the one roof – like we were all meant to be together, from that day onwards. I made many new life-long friends at the Academy, as well as a few enemies along the way but, all in all, I wouldn't change my time there for anything.
As House Delta finally came into view, loud music with a prominent bass could be heard coming from the large residence, while pulsing light escaped from the windows. The sounds of lively voices told the two seekers that a party was definitely underway.
The two seekers stopped in front of the door, and listened to the laughter and occasional shouting coming from the house.
"Ready to meet our new room mates?" Thundercracker asked, smiling encouragingly.
Skywarp nodded, and then pressed the buzzer on the door. After a minute, when no one came to greet them, he tried again. This time the door opened, and after a moment they saw the welcome sight of a familiar face.
"Thundercracker! Skywarp! What took you two so long? We didn't want to start the celebrations without you." It was another Decepticon seeker, one who was already well known to the both of them. He showed them inside, and then closed the door again before throwing them each an unopened canister of energon. The music that had been playing before suddenly stopped, as did the pulsating light.
"Starscream? I had no idea you were here as well," Skywarp said, pleasantly surprised to see him.
"Thanks, Starscream," Thundercracker said, and then looked to Skywarp, smiling. "I wanted to surprise you."
"Yeah, who would have thought? The three of us all assigned to the same House together," Skywarp said, breaking open his drink.
"Indeed, it is a pleasant surprise," Starscream replied happily. "I could not have wished for better companions than the two of you." He looked around at the room full of Decepticon recruits, who were all seated around a table. Unfamiliar faces stared back at the two latest arrivals. "Here, let me introduce you to our new friends. This is Soundwave," he said, pointing to a blue and white cassette guardian.
Soundwave pressed a button on his chest to eject four cassetticons. "Ravage, Laserbeak, Frenzy, Rumble: greet our new friends."
As the four mini robots ejected out of Soundwave's chest compartment, transforming in mid-air to land with their feet on the ground, Skywarp and Thundercracker looked on in awe.
"I've never seen any Decepticon like you before," Skywarp said to Rumble.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Rumble replied, grinning, as Laserbeak perched atop Skywarp's shoulder.
Frenzy greeted Thundercracker in a similar manner, while Ravage nudged the seeker's leg.
"I'll bet you're the life of the party, huh?" Thundercracker said to Frenzy, who grinned back at the blue and grey seeker, as he reached down to stroke Ravage.
"Most mechs can't tell us two apart," Frenzy said, pointing to his twin.
"That's funny. I get that a lot with Skywarp, here," Thundercracker replied in amusement.
Starscream continued his introductions. "And this over here is Astrotrain, and Blitzwing, and Octane. They tell us they're triple changers."
"Greetings, newcomers," Astrotrain said, holding up his canister.
Blitzwing nodded at the newcomers. "Hey," he said, while Octane grinned at them.
"And these fine Decepticons are Onslaught, Vortex…" Starscream paused, as he tried to recall all their names.
"Brawl," said one of them.
"Oh, yes, that's right. Brawl... Blast Off, and… Swindle?" Starscream continued.
"That's me," said the one called Swindle, smiling up at the newcomers as he sipped at his can of energon.
Starscream addressed the group of seated Decepticons. "Oh, and in case you didn't already know, these two are the greatest seekers to have ever been created, after me, of course: Thundercracker, and Skywarp."
"Heh. Thanks for the warm introductions, Starscream," Thundercracker said, as Skywarp smiled back at everyone.
"Now that we've got all the formalities out of the way, let the celebrations begin," Starscream continued, and no sooner had he said this than the loud music began to play again. Thundercracker realized that it was coming from Soundwave. Then the new recruits returned to drinking and chatting amongst themselves.
Thundercracker and I spent the next several hours getting to know our new room mates a little better and just basically settling in. We all got along pretty well from the outset, even after we'd all had one too many canisters of energon. It was a great start to my time at the Academy, and I was really starting to feel like I was exactly where I was meant to be.
"Where'd you get that music?" Skywarp asked Soundwave. "I like it a lot."
"Thank you. It's my own composition." Soundwave had a unique voice – it was deep and sounded as though it was modified through a modulator.
"I like your voice, too," Skywarp said. "It's… I dunno. Interesting."
"Thank you. I like your colors," Soundwave replied.
Meanwhile, Thundercracker was querying the triple changers on their enhanced transformation abilities. "So, you mean to tell me that all three of you can change into not just one other form, but two?"
"Sure can," Astrotrain replied, "and not only that, we can do it fast."
"They don't call us triple changers for nothing, you know," Octane said.
"Yeah? Well, I wanna see you do it," Thundercracker challenged, the high-grade energon now starting to take effect. "I won't believe it until I see it with my own optics."
Astrotrain laughed. "Maybe I'll show you later."
Starscream was also obviously under the influence of a little high-grade, though he seemed to be keeping it under control pretty well. "I'm curious… are you all related?" he asked the five non triple-changing Decepticons, who were all seated together.
"Nah, not really," said the one called Brawl; he was a tough-looking Decepticon, but then most Decepticons were tough-looking in their own way.
"Well, we did all come online at the same time… does that count for anything?" said Blast Off.
"Of course it does. Thundercracker, Skywarp and I share the same creation time as well – right down to the precise astro-second, in fact," Starscream replied.
So, as you can see all was going smoothly, that is, until we were visited by recruits from a neighbouring House. I think they were just bored and looking for trouble.
When Skywarp answered the front door, he was confronted by a group of very over-energized, very rowdy recruits. He had to block the doorway with his frame to prevent them from pushing their way past him to get inside the house uninvited. "What do you robot chickens want?" he said to them.
One of them looked at him with derision. "Robot chickens? Who're you calling robot chickens, aft face?" All his friends behind him cheered in support.
Skywarp was about to shut the door on them, when one of them grabbed him by the arm and pulled him outside. He was soon surrounded by a group of twelve unfamiliar Decepticon recruits. "Uh… Thundercracker… Screamer… I think I need a little help out here!"
The same one laughed at him, teasing him. "Awwww, this pretty mech needs a little help… what's the matter, are you chicken?"
To Skywarp's relief, several of his new room mates ventured outside to see what all the commotion was about.
"Hey, what's going on out here?" Thundercracker called out to them.
The leader of the group turned his attention away from Skywarp to look at the other seeker, and walked over to him. "Oh, hello. We just wanted to come over and introduce ourselves, you know?" he said, putting on a fake smile. He smelled strongly of high-grade fuel. "We're from House Omni… and we just wanted to borrow some of your energon."
"Yeah, we're fresh out," another one of them said.
"Sorry, but we don't have any energon to spare," Starscream replied. "Perhaps you shouldn't have all gotten so wasted?"
"Is that so?" the leader said, looking at the Delta Decepticons each in turn. "Well, in that case… perhaps your friend over here will give up some of his energon for us?" He turned to Skywarp, as his friends started to form a circle around the black and purple seeker.
Thundercracker stepped forward, pointing threateningly at the bully. "Don't you touch him!"
"And who's gonna stop us, huh?" the bully leered back.
"We will. Now I suggest you all return to your House and stay there, before you regret it." It was Onslaught; he had stepped forward to answer House Omni's challenge.
The moment that followed was so tense that one could have almost sliced through it with an energon blade.
Starscream whispered to Onslaught and Soundwave. "They look like a bunch of robot chickens. We can take them."
That's when I threw the first punch, and all hell broke loose. In all fairness, it wasn't an even fight. They were slagged well before the last punch was thrown. I've got to admit, though – it was fun, and I learned, for the first time, just how well we all worked together as a team. It made me feel proud to be one of the Deltas.
Ravage and Rumble acted as a great distraction, long enough for Thundercracker to deliver an effective uppercut to the unfortunate Omni who happened to be standing in front of him. Astrotrain and Blitzwing each flattened two of them at once. Starscream took care of Omni leader's best friend, while Onslaught took the leader head on, defeating him easily. Brawl? They seemed too afraid to even approach him, even in their intoxicated state; I think he and his four comrades enjoyed the fight though, but beating the slag out of the Omnis even more so. Soundwave and I wiped the floor with whoever was still left. Octane couldn't help but laugh the whole time. We had all taken our fair share of dents and cuts, but all in all, it was an easy victory for House Delta.
"Well, we really took care of them, didn't we? Maybe next time they'll think twice before…" Starscream said, pointing and staggering into his fellow seekers.
Thundercracker caught him before he fell over. "Easy, Starscream. Come on, let's get you inside."
And that, pretty much, sums up our first day at the War Academy. We all left the off-lined members of House Omni where they had fallen, face first on the ground, and followed Thundercracker and Starscream inside; the hour was getting late, and we needed to get enough recharge time in if we were going to make it to orientation tomorrow morning.