Thanks to miabaek who suggested a prompt regarding Shelagh getting pregnant again. I modified it a little and made it into a talk about birth control, but you gave me the idea! This was also partly inspired by a piece done by poplarpatience, in which Shelagh tells Patrick that a paddle with his socks on is definitely better than no paddle at all. Thanks to purple-roses-words-and-love for being my loyal beta.
"Patrick?"
"Hm?"
"Patrick, have you ever thought about birth control?"
Her husband cranked one eye open and looked at her. "Of course I have, Shelagh." He took her hand and squeezed it a little, his grip still weak from sleep. As soon as he had her in his arms after their lovemaking, he had the tendency to drift off right away, as easy as dropping a stone into a pond. She envied him that ability; she seemed to take forever to fall asleep at times, like tonight.
"Have you?" she asked.
"I've been doing my best to convince women to use sheaths to prevent sexual transmittable diseases, and you know I refer people to the family planning clinic all the time." His voice was deliciously raspy and deep.
Shelagh smiled a little and pushed his hair out of his face. It bounced back again as soon as she withdrew her hand, gleaming an inky blue shot with silver wherever the moonlight hit it. "I know that, silly man. I wasn't talking about your patients, though. I was talking about us."
He opened both his eyes. "Us?"
She sat up, staring at her hands holding his in her lap. "Yes, us. Don't you think we should?"
"Why?"
She laughed. "Why, Patrick? Because I am not as infertile as we once thought I was. Teddy is the living proof of that," she said, and nodded at the crib at the foot of their bed.
Patrick flopped on his belly and supported his head with his hands. "But he's still very young. Surely…"
"We have enough patients who conceive within months after delivering a baby, Patrick. You know that's hardly an accurate way of preventing pregnancy," she softly scolded him. "I'm still young enough to have another, and another one after that, and maybe another one."
"Don't you want that?" His voice was gentle. He took her hand again, twisting her wedding ring round and round with his thumb, his index finger stroking her palm.
She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear with her free hand, suddenly finding it hard to look at him. "You know how much I wanted a baby when we married, and how hard it was when we were told we'd never have one, but…" She bit her lip and shook her head.
"It feels wrong not to want another baby now, is that it?"
"If I were to get pregnant again, I'd love that child with every fibre of my being, and I know you would, too. But this household is hard enough to manage as it is, and I… I do love my job, Patrick." She turned her face to him. His features were blurred because she wasn't wearing her glasses, but she didn't need them to accurately read her husband's facial expressions. "I love my job," she went on, "and I want to keep nursing. If we'd have another child, I couldn't do that. I'd have to stay home and be a mother and a housewife, and you know how well that went the last time I did it."
"Shelagh, you are a wonderful mother and housewife. I fondly remember all the apple charlotte's you baked before Angela came," he said, his thumb dipping between her knuckles.
"Yes, and I suppose I won't drive Tim to distraction because this time I wouldn't have so much free time on my hands, but Patrick… I am more than a housewife and a mother. I am a nurse, too." She squeezed his hand hard.
"I know, darling," he said, and brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it. "You are one of the best nurses I have ever known."
"Not to mention what strain another pregnancy would put on my body. With Teddy it all ended well, but you and I both know that I might miscarry, and I don't know if I'll be able to deal with that."
"You will, Shelagh, because you are one of the strongest people I know. But just because you would be able to doesn't mean we should risk it," Patrick said.
"No." She gave him a soft smile, and pushed his hair out of his face again, loving the silky texture of it against her skin. "And God knows what my belly and breasts would look like a second time round," she joked.
"I have a very high opinion of both your belly and your breasts, Mrs Turner," Patrick said with a cheeky grin.
She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Patrick Turner, if you think we're up for another round tonight, then…"
"Surely you can let a man enjoy one final time of swimming with no socks on?" he joked, pulling her in his arms.
"You know we don't necessarily have to use sheaths," she chastised him.
He kissed her throat, his teeth grazing over her soft skin till she gasped. "Of course, my love. I'll leave that up to you," he said.
"Well, marriage isn't a dictatorship. You can have your say, too," she moaned as he pressed her into the mattress.
"I'm glad," Patrick said.
She didn't have much trouble falling asleep that night after all.