Forman Disappears

Disclosure: Don't own that's 70's Show. All rights and characters belong to them. Everyone seems to pick on Kelso, so I thought I'd try and make him the hero for a change.

Setting: Three years after Season 8.

Chapter 1: The Wedding

You are Cordially Invited to

Witness the Holy Matrimony of

Donna Pinciotti

To

Eric Forman

May 25, 1983

5:00

The day is beautiful, sun is shining, sky is clear. You couldn't ask for a more picture perfect day for a wedding. It's not too hot, a cool breeze is blowing and it looks like Donna will get her wish and have an outside ceremony. Eric, Hyde, Kelso and Fez are sitting in a room next to the chapel ½ hour before the ceremony.

Eric sat on the window seal and looked at the wedding program in his hand. He couldn't believe it; he and Donna were finally going to get married. After all their struggles, fights, break-ups and make-ups. Their day had finally arrived. He is writing some notes on the program when Hyde breaks him out of his trance.

Hey Forman, what're you doing?

(Looking guilty, but giddy.) Nothing, just thinking. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. I can't believe in less than an hour my dream will finally come true. (He wiggles his eyebrows, smiles and sighs happily) Mr. & Mrs. Eric Forman.

(Hyde not going for this girly crap) Get over here; we're going to have one last circle before the wedding. Maybe that will help clear your mind and make you realize you're about to enter hell.

Fez: It's hard to believe, Eric is the last one to get married.

Kelso: Yeah, if I was a bettin man, I would have lost on that one. I mean you and Donna have been destined to get together since second grade. I mean I didn't even know Brooke in the second grade and Hyde was in detention all second grade maybe that's where you met Jackie? I mean she was always sucking up to the principal.

(Fez looks dreamy): Just like me and Nina were destined ever since I saw her at the DMV.

(Hyde punches Fez and Kelso, then yells) Stop that! Forman, get over here before someone comes in and breaks up the circle.

(Hyde started the circle.)

(Eric begins to join but looks outside and his eyes get huge, he looks mad, takes off his coat.) Guys, I gotta go. I'll be right back.

F: It's down the hall and to the left.

(Hyde punches Fez) You moron that's the ladies room, it's down the hall and to the right.

(Smoke is circling all around them.)

F: Sometimes I like to squat to pee. But then it gives me needs.

(Hyde looks at him weirdly.) Wow, Forman and Donna, finally, maybe we'll get some peace.

K: Ya know I just thought of this, Donna begins with a "D" and I'm sure her bra size is a "D" cup.

F: I hope they have cake, chocolate cake. I love chocolate cake.

H: You know I feel like we're missing something.

K: Hey guys, Jackie's last name was Burkhart and she was a "B" cup. Maybe that's how girls get their boob size.

H: Guys, where's Forman, oh yeah, he went to the bathroom.

(There's a knock on the door, and you can hear Red's voice outside) What in the name of … jiminy cricket … are you guys doing in there?

Pastor Dave from outside the door: Is there a fire in there, I think I smell smoke.

(Red and Pastor Dave enter the room, smoke is clearing and there is clearly no Eric. Red is very upset.) Well, dumbasses, I gave you one job and that was to watch Eric and he's gone. If my son leaves Donna again, I think she's gonna kick MY ass this time.

(Hyde walks over to Red.) No, he just went to the bathroom.

(Fez and Kelso together) Down the hall to the right. Down the hall to the left.

(Everyone leaves and runs towards the bathroom. You see all 5 of them inside and still no Eric.)

Fez: I think I will go check the girl's room.

(Fez leaves and soon you hear Donna scream and as everyone runs outside to see Donna, in her wedding dress, and Fez; she pulling him out of the bathroom by his ear.) Fez what in the hell where you doing in there? I thought once you got married you'd stop.

(Fez looking very scared.) I was looking for Er…. Um …. Facial tissue …. See I know .. I'm going to cry during the ceremony. I'm very emotional.

(Donna looks around and sees everyone but Eric, puts Fez down and starts screaming) WHERE'S ERIC?

(Everyone looks down at the ground, and then Hyde speaks up) Oh, he's in our room, see we wanted to make sure you weren't around so he could go to the bathroom.

(Everyone looks relieved, except Donna doesn't buy it.) Bullshit, I want to see him NOW!

(They all go running to their room, Kelso and Fez run in and lock the door.)

Fez: Donna, you know it's bad luck to see the groom before your ceremony.

(Donna pissed.) Hey Fez, you know what's bad luck? Is to lie to me. I think you know what Ican do to your special parts! (She makes a fist with both hands, twists and breaks them apart. All they guys on the outside of the door grimace.)

(Kelso trying to talk like Eric.) Donna, honey, sweet cheeks, it's me Eric. Is everything Ok?

(Donna knowing it's not Eric) Kelso, can you help me, I think my bra is too tight.

(Without thinking he answers in the same voice.) I'll be right out! (He opens the door; she smacks him on the head and goes in.)

(As she enters the room, her head is on a swivel and she is looking for Eric. She starts calling his name, but he is nowhere to be found. She's pissed) Where in the hell is he?

(Kelso comes over and puts his hand on her shoulder) Donna, he was just right here sitting by the window and then he said he had to go to the bathroom.

Hyde: Seriously, right before we cir …um … you know … he was saying this was the happiest day of his life. Donna, he wouldn't bail on you. He loves you.

Well, then where is he?

Red: He must be lost in the church. You know he's not too good with directions.

(Everyone leaves the room; they conduct a room-by-room search of the church and meet back in the same room. No one has seen him.)

(Donna is unbelievably sad; she is sitting in the same chair as before.) What's wrong with me, why doesn't he want to marry me? … I thought things were going great.

(Red walks over to her and for the first time speaks up.) Donna, I don't know what's going on, but I know he loves you very, very much.

(Kelso gets a big smile on his face) Maybe he was abducted by aliens!

Hyde flogs Kelso: Shut up, you moron.

Kelso: Look, let's reenact the scene. I'll play Eric. Look, his coat is still here, he wouldn't leave without it. (He takes the coat and puts it on Donna's shoulders.)

(Donna realizes he left her again. This time she thinks it forever.) How in the hell does that matter; it's rented.

(Red gets up from Donna, rubs her shoulders and kisses her on the cheek) I'll go tell everyone.

(Kelso still trying to get people to reenact the scene.) Come on guys, I had 6 months of Police Academy and I've been part of Point Place finest for two years. I think we're jumping to conclusions: Forman wouldn't have left you.

(For some reason this gets Donna really pissed.) Kelso, shut up! I'm sick of you guys sticking up for him. Fact one, we were supposed to get married after high school and he didn't show up. Fact two, we were supposed to get married today and he's not here. What other conclusion are there? He doesn't love me.

(Kelso still can't believe Eric left her. Gets on one knee in front where she's sitting.) Donna, I'm telling ya, there's something fishy going on here. And I'm not talking about the kinda of fishy we had on the trip to California. Something has happened to Forman.)

(Donna stands up, knocks over Kelso. He back peddles away toward the window.) You know what, I don't care anymore. He shouldn't have let something happen to him on our wedding day.

(Hyde trying to be understanding.) Donna, I'm telling ya, he wouldn't have bailed. He was just saying how happy he was.

(Kelso stood up.) I mean he chose to be here instead of going to the movie premier of Return of the Jedi.

(That is the final straw. She throws his coat at Kelso, takes off her engagement ring and throws that at him also.) Oh, my god, if he dumped me to go see some stupid movie, I'm gonna stick my foot up his ass so far; his eyes are going to glow star wars.

(With that, everyone leaves except Kelso. They all went back to the Forman house, just like last time. When Donna threw the ring it went out the window, Kelso still wanted to play detective because he knew something was wrong. So he sat where Eric sat and looked out the window and tried to get his thoughts in order. Eric looked pissed as he was leaving. What would have made him mad? He grabbed Eric's coat and pulled the program out of his pocket. Eric has scribbled "I Love Donna Pinciotti"; then he drew a line thru it and wrote "I Love Donna Forman" and beside it Mr. + Mrs. Eric Forman. From that moment Kelso knew his gut reaction was correct, something happened to Forman and it looked like he was the only one that was going to do something about it. He decided to look outside for the ring and maybe that would give me some answers.

The street ran right below the church window. Luckily he found the ring because he knew Donna would eventually want it back especially if what he thought was true. He started looking around for other clues and that's when he spotted blood on the ground. It looked like a struggle or someone was hit over the head and dragged away. What was weird was right next to the blood was a cassette tape.

What really didn't make sense was the label, "GRANDMA'S LAST WORDS"